Honey, I’m gay: when spouses come out
The secret gay lives of husbands and wives. Millions of Americans are in a mostly-secret club: their husband or wife has told them they’re gay. What happens to the marriage? Chagmion Antoine reports.
November 22nd, 2009
The problem with this is that it may confuse conservatives and might make them think that all gays should do that.
I’m married to a gay man. I did not know he was gay when we married 26 years ago tomorrow. For that matter, he would not even admit to himself he was gay even though he had sex with men. I found out that fact after being married to him for 17 years. He never fit what I thought of as gay… I have since come to realize and acknowledge that gay does not mean what I thought it meant and have removed the stereo typing from my own mind. We are still married, and it has been 8 years since making that discovery. Does he love me? Is he “In love” with me?
Yes! I think so! He had ample opportunity to part ways with me and remain friends and yet he chooses to stay with me. I have also had ample opportunity to leave him and find someone who is also heterosexual, but I choose not to. THE reason we both choose to stay together is because we love one another. It is not a sin to be in a Mixed-Orientation Relationship so get over it already! Its time everyone try to be more open minded. BTW… I am saddened that GBLT’s are not allowed to marry. This is just plain wrong in my opinion.
Trill
I’ve been in an MOM for 29 years, love my husband, am loved by my husband, and according to my friends in hetero marriages, have had a better sex life. So what to do? The questions of authenticity are valid; but my husband loves me, even though he is attracted and sexually drawn to men. Go figure, is my response. There is no accounting for taste.
Let’s clear this up. First, due to the severe promiscuity of gay folks, especially men, they are an easy target to help satisfy a “hor*ny guy and probably will not charge $. I know a lot about this because my gay brother died from AIDS due to his promiscuity, which I asked him to stop. Oh, I love my brother very much. I see all the gay people making all the insulting remarks and gestures whenever there is a protest. Now back to your “fight” for rights. Have you ever heard of straight people coming “out” about being straight? NO! Because that is what is accepted. Yes, considered normal. Don’t like it, too bad. That is the way it is. Marriage has been around for thousands of years and if it is considered slavery why do gays want in so bad? Just to spite us. That is your agenda, SPITE the regular folks to gain recognition. If being “open” were really so nice why do gays have such a hard time bringing it up? Look stop trying so hard to be like us when you hate our (straight people)ways. You want your rights and parades and do not expect to receive opposition during yet you guys will spit, yell obscenities, ignore a family ambiance and just plain ole not give a dang who is around during any of your protests. So continue that same stupid trend and call it a “stereotype” and ignore what it really is (annoying) and continue to receive a negative reception. Heck even terrorists are better received in this country than gays because they are smart enough to not rock the boat and are not flamboyant.
It is surprising that in order to be gay you have to be a single male and that you must fit some stereotype that some can put in a box. No thought to how frightened some might be of themselves, of being banished by family and loved ones because they are gay/lesbian, or (gasp!) bisexual. No, that doesn’t fit the political profile and if you don’t ….get out. Go away.
That some of us have come out after marriage and maintained it, isn’t a reflection on you, its us trying to live the best way we can. If you don’t like it, we don’t care. Sit and scream on your throne all you want, we don’t need to conform to your narrow minded and limited ways of dealing with who we are and why. And we don’t need to march in some parade to know that either.
The last thing we need in our community while trying to fight outside hate is hate against each other. Rather then judging others for how their relationships work we should congratulate them on being open, honest, making the relationship work and being happy. Other then that it’s really no one’s business how or what they do.
I think that love and sex are not necessarily always related. Just because you are not sexually attracted to your spouse doesn’t mean the relationship is false or bad. What do you think happens as we age? Or after radical life-saving surgery, say after a burn? As you can see from the clip, there’s nothing “secret” going on. (In the Haggard case, I DO think something is seriously wrong though).
This is horrid.
omgg
It’s time to get out
What? No comments on these idiots?
Like Joanne Fleisher’s workshops for women to stay in the oldest form of legalized slavery, marriage, while they sleep around and cheat w/ women on the side? While they live a lie for their children to see?
While they spread the diseases that their cheating husbands give them to the OUT gay population?
And Fleisher’s workshops? Where she basically has instituted orgies amongst women who are married to men but want to screw women on the side… Oprah has been on this bandwagon before, perhaps her way of coming as out as she can.
Thanks for all the secrets, it makes my life and every other courageous gay person who lives out, harder. Selfish prigs.