As definitions of sex differ, so do the perceptions of the dangers those activities might pose.

“There’s a vagueness of what sex is in our culture and media,” said William L. Yarber, a co-author of the study. “If people don’t consider certain behaviors sex, they might not think sexual health messages about risk pertain to them. The AIDS epidemic has forced us to be much more specific about behaviors, as far as identifying specific behaviors that put people at risk instead of just sex in general. But there’s still room for improvement.”

There is much less consensus on other varieties of sex. Eighty-one percent of respondents said penile-anal penetration is sex. But among the respondents 65 and older, that number drops to 50 percent. And for oral sex, roughly three out of four respondents agreed it was sex. But those in both older and younger age groups were less likely to define oral sex as having sex.

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I don’t watch “Saturday Night Live” much, partly because I don’t have a TV and partly because I just don’t think it’s as funny as it used to be. But Bobby Moynihan’s portrayal of former New York Sen. Eric Massa’s walk down memory lane was priceless.

Asked if he groped any of his staffers, mock Massa said: “I’m a congressman. You know how we do. But it wasn’t sexual. It was just your everyday, run-of-the-mill tickle fight between a middle-age elected official and his much younger staff.”

Although it lacked a shower scene with Rahm Emanuel, the skit did provide a definition of “snorkeling,” Massa’s favorite Navy activity. Good times.

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Another thing I don’t watch: Suze Orman. My own finances are pathetic, so listening to financial advice feels like a guilt trip. But I caught a clip of Orman on “The Wanda Sykes Show” this weekend. Orman is surprisingly funny. And did you know she’s hiding at least one tattoo? (I don’t know where or what it is. Anyone have a tip?)

Orman, who — shocker — had her own significant debt, offered the best piece of financial advice I’ve heard in a long time.

“If you really want to start screwing the banks, do me a favor,” she said. “Do a balance transfer to a credit union credit card. By law, they cannot charge you more than 18.5 percent interest.”

That’ll show ‘em.

(The segments with Orman — there are two — start at 29:43.)

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One more video clip … because I couldn’t pass it up. I mean, how can one skip a video called “Gilbert Gottfried – On Joan River’s Vagina”? The video is from a recent roast of Rivers.

My favorite line: “In my life, I’d already had sexual congress with plenty of Joan River impersonators. … And most were perfect gentlemen.”

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My favorite Web site to procrastinate on this week: Lesbians who look like Justin Beiber. Well, I’m not especially delighted with all the Justin Beiber pics, but the girls are darn cute.

Her financial career began in 1980 when she became an account executive at Merill Lynch. Only a few years later, she became vice president of investments at Prudential Bache Securities.

In 1987, she resigned from the position and decided to launch her own business, the Suze Orman Financial Group.

The financial guru skyrocketed to instant fame and praise with the release of her 1997 book, 9 Steps to Financial Freedom and a year later, she published The Courage to Be Rich. Both books became best-sellers.

In February 2007, Orman came out as a lesbian, revealing that she had been with her partner Kathy Travis for seven years.

Orman expressed concern that life partner Travis would not receive monetary support from Orman’s several million-dollar estate upon her death.