I say “shocking” even though I personally wasn’t surprised. One of my best friends is from rural Tennessee. His alma mater still segregates superlatives: White Most Likely to Succeed, Black Most Likely to Succeed; Funniest White, Funniest Black, and so on.

The white students quoted in the Times article expressed some reservations about the practice, but generally concluded with “It’s how it’s always been…It’s just a tradition.” In the words of Harley Boone, a platinum blond girl with beauty-queen looks who co-chaired last year’s white prom, “It doesn’t seem like a big deal around here. It’s just what we know and what our parents have done for so many years.”

“It’s just what we know.” Miss Boone reminded me of another beauty queen, in both her appearance and her comment: Miss California USA Carrie Prejean.

Miss Prejean, you’ll recall, when asked her beliefs about marriage equality, responded (in part), “I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.”

How I was raised. Tradition. What our parents have done. This is not, in itself, a bad reason for doing something. It explains why I set the table the way I do, for instance, or why I always put an extra unlit candle on a birthday cake (”good luck for the next year,” my mom always told me). It explains, too, more substantial practices—how we gather, celebrate milestones, express joy, or mourn loss. No generation does, or should, invent everything from scratch.

And yet, sometimes “what we know”—or thought we knew—stops working, or never worked very well in the first place.

I used to load the dishwasher with the forks tines down—because that’s how my parents did and still do it—until I realized they get cleaner tines up (in my dishwasher, anyway, and please don’t send me irate e-mails if yours is different).

Spotty forks are one thing. Racial and sexual inequality are quite another. When traditions cause palpable harm to people, it’s time to change. At that point, rethinking tradition is not merely optional, as in the dishwasher case—it’s morally mandatory.

And that’s why Prejean’s ” how I was raised” comment struck so many of us as a dumb answer. No educated person can justifiably claim ignorance of the challenges gay individuals and couples face. We gays are deprived of a fundamental social institution, treated unequally in the eyes of the law, and told that our deep, committed, loving relationships are inferior, counterfeit, or depraved. In the face of such injustice, “that’s how I was raised” sounds hollow and cowardly.

There are those who bristle at any analogy between homophobia and racial injustice. Indeed, a favorite new right-wing strategy is to claim that liberals unfairly label as “bigots” anyone who opposes same-sex marriage, even on the basis of sincere moral and religious convictions.

But that’s one reason why the analogy is so powerful, and so revealing. It shows that citing “sincere moral and religious convictions” doesn’t get one a free pass for maintaining unjust institutions.

No analogy compares two things that are exactly the same. (That would not be an analogy, but an identity.) Analogies compare two or more things that are similar in some relevant respect(s). The similarities can be instructive.

The white citizens of Montgomery County, Georgia, seem like a nice enough bunch. They don’t carry pitchforks or wear hooded robes. I doubt that Miss Boone ever uses the n-word, although her grandparents probably do. (Mine did, too, until we grandchildren protested loudly enough.) They are otherwise decent folk misled by powerful tradition.

I’m sure that, pressed for further explanation, many of these folks could make the right noises about doing what’s best for their children and eventual grandchildren. And much like “that’s just what we know,” that response would sound familiar. Opponents of marriage equality use it constantly.

But don’t marriage-equality opponents have social-science data backing them up? They don’t. Yes, they have data about how children fare in fatherless households, for example, and then they extrapolate from that data to draw conclusions about lesbian households. The problem is that there are too many confounding variables. So then they fall back on their “vast untested social experiment” argument: we just don’t know how this is going to turn out. Which, again, is precisely the sort of thing we might expect the Montgomery parents to say to justify their “tradition.”

From the fact that two groups of people use the same forms of argument, it doesn’t follow that their conclusions are equally good or bad. It depends on the truth of their premises.

Still, the tendency of both segregationists and marriage-equality opponents to hide behind “that’s how I was raised” provides a powerful analogy—in moral laziness.

*************************************

John Corvino, Ph.D. is an author, speaker, and philosophy professor at Wayne State University in Detroit. His column “The Gay Moralist” appears weekly on 365gay.com. Read more about him at www.johncorvino.com.

John will be a volunteer faculty member this summer for Campus Pride’s Leadership Camp for GLBT students. For more about Campus Pride’s work, or to make a donation on John’s behalf to support this year’s program, visit http://www.campuspride.org/.

“I feel invincible,” Garcia said in his tiara and charcoal-gray tuxedo.

A few days earlier, he gave a speech that won over some cynics and led to an ovation and his unlikely victory.

“At one time, prom may have been a big popularity contest where the best-looking guy or girl were crowned king and queen. Things have changed and it’s no longer just about who has the most friends or who wears the coolest clothes,” Garcia told a gymnasium full of seniors. “I’m not your typical prom queen candidate. There’s more to me than meets the eye.”

Garcia assured the crowd he wouldn’t wear a dress on prom night.

“I will be wearing a suit,” he said. “But don’t be fooled, deep down I am a queen.”

The school, which sits at the end of the rows of chic shops on Melrose Avenue and was once attended by members of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, has long been a haven for students who would be considered outcasts at many schools.

Garcia said he saw fliers advertising the prom and the election, and they didn’t specify that the queen must be a girl. He thought the role would suit him better than prom king.

“I don’t wish to be a girl,” he told the Los Angeles Times. said. “I just wish to be myself.”

Senior class president Vanessa Lo said she and many other students were initially against the idea but were won over by Garcia’s speech and became convinced he wasn’t just an attention-seeking clown.

“It just goes to show how open-minded our class is,” Lo said.

Seventeen-year-old Unique Payne called the speech “great” and said she voted for Garcia “because I support the gay community.”

Other students weren’t as happy, and suggested many voted for Garcia just to see the spectacle of two boys dancing together at the prom.

“I’m not really happy about that,” said 17-year-old Juan Espinoza. “He should’ve run for prom king.”

The school district Monday reversed its policy that required female students to wear dresses to the prom.

The lawsuit was filed last week in federal court by the American Civil Liberties Union of Indiana on behalf of the 17-year-old girl, who was not named.

Court papers identified her only as a senior at the school and described her as a lesbian who chooses not to wear dresses because she believes they represent a sexual identity.

The lawsuit alleged the girl was told by her principal that while the school’s dress code does not contain gender-based requirements, there is a special dress code for the prom. That code requires female students to wear a formal dress, the suit charges.

The ACLU, in the court filing, said that the dress code discriminates against students based on gender. It further stated that because the school receives federal funds, the policy violated federal anti-discrimination law and that it also violated her constitutional right to free speech.

When the suit was filed, the school said it was willing to meet with the student.

In a statement released Monday by the school district, Superintendent Robert L. Taylor said the dispute had been resolved.

“School policy for this year’s prom will be that all attendees shall wear appropriate formal attire with no gender-based attire requirements imposed,” the statement from Taylor said. “Female students will be permitted to wear tuxedos if they choose.”

The ACLU said that the student is pleased with the outcome.

The settlement came while another lawsuit in Indiana, brought last year by a gay male who was barred from going to his prom wearing a dress, is pending in court.

In December 2007, Lambda Legal filed a lawsuit on behalf of K.K. Logan challenging a Gary School Corporation policy barring clothing that advertises sexual orientation or indicates that a student’s gender is different from the student’s sex.

Logan argues that the policy violates students’ First Amendment freedom of expression.  Logan also claims that his exclusion from prom constitutes discrimination on the basis of gender.  West Side High School filed a motion to dismiss the case in February 2008 leading to this week’s ruling. 

Students and teachers knew that K.K. Logan was gay for years.  During his senior year, Logan attended West Side High expressing a deeply rooted femininity in his appearance and demeanor. At school, Logan wore makeup, accessories and clothing typically associated with girls his age.

However, on May 19, 2006, Principal Diane Rouse stretched her arms across the door of the senior prom, blocking Logan’s entrance because Logan was wearing a dress. Classmates and friends rallied to Logan’s defense to no avail—even though a female student was allowed to attend dressed in a tuxedo.

Principal Rouse enforced a Gary School Corporation policy that forbids any clothing or accessories that “advertise sexual orientation” or “portray the wearer as a person of the opposite gender.”

(Lebanon, Indiana) An Indiana student is suing her high school after she was told she could not wear a tuxedo to the school’s prom.

The lawsuit was filed in federal court by the American Civil Liberties Union of Indiana on behalf of the 17-year-old girl, who is not named in the lawsuit.

Court papers identify her only as a senior at the school and describes her as a lesbian who chooses not to wear dresses because she believes they represent a sexual identity.

The lawsuit alleges the girl was told by her principal that while the school’s dress code does not contain gender-based requirements, there is a special dress code for the prom. That code requires female students to wear a formal dress, the suit charges.

The ACLU, in the court filing, said that the dress code discriminates against students based on gender. It further states that because the school receives federal funds, the policy also violates federal anti-discrimination law and that it also violates her constitutional right to free speech.

The lawsuit asks the court to issue an injunction requiring the school to let the girl wear the same formal attire to the prom as male students.

The Lebanon Community school district called the suit premature.

The district’s attorney, Kent Frandsen, told the Associated Press that the final decision on prom attire was not up to the principal and no final decision had been made.

Frandsen said the school was still trying to work out a deal with the girl that would allow her to wear a pantsuit if that made her more comfortable. He also said there are about six weeks until the prom and there was still time to reach an agreement without going to court.

Another lawsuit in Indiana, brought last year by a gay male who was barred from going to his prom wearing a dress, is pending in court.

In December 2007, Lambda Legal filed a lawsuit on behalf of K.K. Logan challenging a Gary School Corporation policy barring clothing that advertises sexual orientation or indicates that a student’s gender is different from the student’s sex.

Logan argues that the policy violates students’ First Amendment freedom of expression.  Logan also claims that his exclusion from prom constitutes discrimination on the basis of gender.  West Side High School filed a motion to dismiss the case in February 2008 leading to this week’s ruling. 

Students and teachers knew that K.K. Logan was gay for years.  During his senior year, Logan attended West Side High expressing a deeply rooted femininity in his appearance and demeanor. At school, Logan wore makeup, accessories and clothing typically associated with girls his age.

However, on May 19, 2006, Principal Diane Rouse stretched her arms across the door of the senior prom, blocking Logan’s entrance because Logan was wearing a dress. Classmates and friends rallied to Logan’s defense to no avail—even though a female student was allowed to attend dressed in a tuxedo.

Principal Rouse enforced a Gary School Corporation policy that forbids any clothing or accessories that “advertise sexual orientation” or “portray the wearer as a person of the opposite gender.”

]]> http://www.365gay.com/news/girl-sues-school-over-tux-ban/feed/ 7 http://www.365gay.com/news/student-prom-lawsuit-moves-forward/ http://www.365gay.com/news/student-prom-lawsuit-moves-forward/#comments Wed, 01 Oct 2008 18:00:18 +0000 Jennifer Vanasco http://www.365gay.com/?p=3497 (Gary, Indiana) The United States District Court for the Northern District of Indiana denied Gary high school’s motion to dismiss a case brought by former student Kevin  “K.K.” Logan, a feminine male who was barred from prom because he wore a dress.

“We are thrilled that K.K. Logan will have a day in court, and that the school’s discriminatory policies can be challenged,” said Jim Madigan, Staff Attorney in Lambda Legal’s Midwest Regional Office in Chicago.

The court held that Logan may challenge the dress code policy as a violation of the First Amendment rights of all Gary students.

In December 2007, Lambda Legal filed a lawsuit on behalf of K.K. Logan challenging a Gary School Corporation policy barring clothing that advertises sexual orientation or indicates that a student’s gender is different from the student’s sex.

Logan argues that the policy violates students’ First Amendment freedom of expression.  Logan also claims that his exclusion from prom constitutes discrimination on the basis of gender.  West Side High School filed a motion to dismiss the case in February 2008 leading to this week’s ruling.

Students and teachers knew that K.K. Logan was gay for years.  During his senior year, Logan attended West Side High expressing a deeply rooted femininity in his appearance and demeanor. At school, Logan wore makeup, accessories and clothing typically associated with girls his age.

However, on May 19, 2006, Principal Diane Rouse stretched her arms across the door of the senior prom, blocking Logan’s entrance because Logan was wearing a dress. Classmates and friends rallied to Logan’s defense to no avail—even though a female student was allowed to attend dressed in a tuxedo.

Principal Rouse enforced a Gary School Corporation policy that forbids any clothing or accessories that “advertise sexual orientation” or “portray the wearer as a person of the opposite gender.”

The case will proceed to trial in the United States District Court for the Northern District of Indiana.