Conservatives need to come up with better theories, especially when the topic is sexuality. As most of you know the Values Summit happened this past weekend (the attendees went gaga over Ms. Prejean). Michael Schwartz, chief of staff for Sen. Tom Coburn, held a session on the evils of pornography. Here is what he opined:

“All pornography is homosexual pornography,” said Schwartz, repeating what an ex-gay friend told him, “because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards.”

You read right. According to Schwartz’s ex-gay friend (we all know that queen is at the sex club with his booty in the air….not that there is anything wrong with that) all porn is touched with the homosexuality. But hold on peoples because it gets better. Schwartz is convinced one way to keep 11 year old boys from loving show tunes is by telling them Dad’s Playboy will transform them into sodomites.

“And if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to get a copy of ‘Playboy’?” he said. “I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants!”

I hate children, but I know this much: Playboy’s hold on the imaginations of 11 year old boys is tenuous at best. When was that magazine last relevant? Forty years ago?

While I’m ranting, this is problem 423 about minority life. The majority will always point to some goofiness uttered by a tribe member (good morning Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson) to uphold their bigotry. Who better else to quote than some “ex-gay” nitwit for the juicy dirt on gay living?

The AIDS Healthcare Foundation filed the action with the California Division of Occupational Safety and Health, alleging the practice amounts to unsafe behavior in a California workplace.

“We will not stop until there is a policy of requiring condoms to be used in porn,” foundation president Michael Weinstein said.

By law, U.S. adult film actors must prove they have tested negative for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases within 30 days of going to work on a film.

CalOSHA spokesman Dean Fryer said the regulatory agency requires workers in any industry where there is a “possibility of transmission of fluids,” including health care and adult films, to reduce the risk of disease transmission.

“The employers of porn actors are required to provide a safe and healthy work environment,” Fryer said.

Nearly 60 adult DVDs accompany the complaints against Hustler Video, Maverick Entertainment, Vivid and other porn production companies in Los Angeles. Many people in the multibillion-dollar industry oppose the use of condoms in the films.

Hustler publisher Larry Flynt told The Associated Press, “people who enjoy viewing adult films do not want to see people using condoms.”

“While it might provide some additional protection, the sales are not going to be there to make the effort worthwhile for the actors and actresses,” he said.

Flynt praised laws mandating monthly testing for adult film actors as a highly effective way to prevent the spread of AIDS.

Vivid Entertainment head Steven Hirsch agreed.

“If we didn’t think the proper testing was in place, we would do something about it,” he said.

A call to Maverick was not immediately returned.

Weinstein said AIDS could be spread through the on-camera behavior and noted that many people get their sex education from porn movies.

Watching unprotected sex could prompt them to be careless during sex acts, he said.

Former porn actress Jan Meza said she asked about the use of condoms when she first started appearing in adult films in 2006.

“I was told that I would never get work again,” said Meza, who later contracted herpes.

Meza stopped appearing in films in 2007 and went to work for a charity group that provides safe haven to performers who want to leave the industry.

The labor complaints are part of the AIDS advocacy group’s broader campaign to mandate the use of condoms in porn.

Last month, it filed a lawsuit against the Los Angeles County Department of Public Health, calling on officials to enforce health and safety rules on adult film sets to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

In June, CalOSHA inspectors paid a surprise visit to the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation in San Fernando Valley, a clinic where an adult film actress recently tested positive for HIV.

The inspection was part of a broader investigation into the clinic, which has reported 22 other HIV cases since 2004. At least five performers for Vivid Entertainment, tested positive for HIV that year, prompting a brief self-imposed moratorium on porn production.

Fryer said CalOSHA is awaiting a court ruling on an injunction sought by the American Civil Liberties Union to prevent the agency from accessing medical files at the clinic.

“Our elected officials and our government are treating the young people who are performing in these films as trash that don’t deserve protection,” Weinstein said.

Weinstein said no state legislators have agreed to sponsor the group’s proposal to mandate condoms in porn movies.

Hirsch said the adult film industry would likely leave California if the use of condoms became mandatory.Another story that sounds too good to be true?

Taleon Goffney, who appeared with his brother in such gay skin flicks as “Marc and the Twins,” was arrested last year after police said they saw the twins breaking into a beauty shop.

He pleaded guilty to two counts each of burglary and criminal conspiracy and was sentenced to three to eight years. Charges including criminal trespass, receiving stolen property and possession of an instrument of crime were dropped in exchange for his pleas.

Goffney, 27, could have faced up to 40 years in prison if convicted after trial.

“Thank you for your lenience in accepting my plea,” Goffney, of Pennsauken, N.J., told a judge in court Wednesday. “These crimes won’t be happening again.”

Goffney’s twin brother, Keyontyli Goffney, also is charged and appeared at Wednesday’s hearing, but it was unclear if he planned to negotiate a plea. He’s due back in court Aug. 6. Neither his lawyer, Gerald Stein, nor Assistant District Attorney Caroline Keating immediately returned telephone calls from The Associated Press on Thursday.

Keating told the Philadelphia Daily News that Taleon Goffney is sure to serve at least the minimum three years due to his prior criminal record. Goffney’s lawyer, Michael F. Gushue, told the newspaper that his client plans to complete his college education while in prison.

“I think he’s had an epiphany,” Gushue said. “He’s a bright young man.”

The brothers have appeared in Internet porn videos under the names Teyon and Keyon, said Erik Schut, of Philadelphia-based video retailer TLA Entertainment Group. They could have had good careers if they hadn’t gotten into trouble, he said in February.

“They are incredibly good-looking, and being identical twins, it’s a novelty,” Schut said then.

In “Marc and the Twins,” the brothers offer to audition for chiseled porn star Marc Williams in a seedy hotel room and are seen rubbing each other’s chests.

Keyontyli Goffney has appeared in porn since at least 2002 and worked as a fashion model, while Taleon Goffney got involved in porn more recently.

Taleon Goffney, who police believe is a trained gymnast and karate expert, has used his athleticism to make several daring escapes.

He was handcuffed in the back of a moving police cruiser after a 2006 drug arrest in Clementon, N.J., when he broke out the glass with his head and jumped into a lake while still handcuffed, police Chief Dave Kunkel said.

“He swam across like Flipper, taunting the officers, saying, ‘You’ll never catch me,’” Kunkel told the Daily News for a story in February.

He turned himself in a week later.

In January 2007, he jumped 30 feet from the roof of a Camden, N.J., liquor store and swam across the frigid Cooper River before he was caught, police said.

A defense lawyer, Jeffrey Zucker, said Goffney “should have signed up for the Olympics” and referred to him as Spider-Man.

Writer-director Lynn Shelton has said she’d prefer not to have her third feature classified as part of the mumblecore movement, indies known mostly for featuring twentysomethings who sit around and talk about themselves. Nevertheless, many of the trademarks are undeniably there: the low-budget aesthetic, the naturalism of the dialogue and the unabashed solipsism. These are people who are interested in themselves and others like them, and if you’re interested in them too, that’s cool. But if not, no worries.

Regardless of labels, “Humpday” marks a maturation of this style: For one thing, the characters are in their early 30s and one of them has a steady job, a house and a wife with whom he’s trying to start a family. (He happens to be played by actor-filmmaker Mark Duplass, who was behind such mumblecore staples as “The Puffy Chair” and “Baghead” with his brother, Jay.) Also, there’s a discernible plot with actual tension. “Humpday” has a lot of intentionally awkward laughs but it also has some quiet, intimate moments that will make you hold your breath, wondering how they might play out.

Ben (Duplass) and Andrew (Joshua Leonard) are old college pals who haven’t seen each other in a decade. When world-traveler Andrew shows up on Ben’s suburban doorstep in the middle of the night, they easily return to a teasing, brotherly banter. Then at a booze-and-drug-fueled party the next night, they wind up daring each other to have sex on camera – supposedly in the name of art for an amateur film contest.

“It’s beyond gay,” Ben insists in justifying the endeavor.

Once they sober up the following day, neither of them is willing to back down, which forces them both to confront their identities and motivations. Duplass and Leonard have such great chemistry and their improvised exchanges feel so natural, they make this premise easier to believe than you might expect.

Shelton shows great insight into the contradictory mind of the modern man. But another of the film’s great charms is the strength of its chief female character, Ben’s wife Anna, played by Alycia Delmore. So often in mainstream comedies that explore deep male friendships, women are an afterthought; they’re naggy and shrill if they exist at all. Anna is as fully formed as Ben and Andrew, and she’s incredibly cool and down to earth. She also reacts exactly the way you’d expect a wife to react upon learning that her husband is on the verge of making a gay porn movie – especially when he should be focusing his sexual energy on her during this crucial baby-making time.

The pacing lags here and there, which can be a common problem with a stripped-down approach that attempts to recreate realism, and Shelton’s use of shaky, hand-held camera grows tiresome. But Ben and Andrew’s climactic hotel-room scene, if you will, remains unpredictable – and, oddly sweet.

“Humpday,” a Magnolia Pictures release, is rated R for some strong sexual content, pervasive language and a scene of drug use. Running time: 95 minutes. Three stars out of four.

We’re working on it – we’ve contacted Twitter and are trying to suspend the account until this is sorted out.

In the meantime, you might want to stay away. Hopefully, regular updates from us will be restored soon!

“There won’t be any more cases, at least in the current political climate,” said Duane, who is openly gay. “This whole program by the NYPD has been stopped, but we have to make sure it stays stopped.”

Last year, at least 30 men were arrested in stings at Manhattan porn shops, reports Gay City News. “When Robert Pinter, who was one of the 30 men, went public about his arrest –– saying that an undercover cop 25 years younger falsely claimed Pinter attempted to sell sexual services –– the outcry resulted in the Manhattan district attorney letting the legal time limit it has to prosecute cases run out for some men; in a few cases, the prosecutor outright dismissed the charges,” the paper said.

The stings were used to try and close the porn shops down.

There have been no new porn shop arrests since October, although police continue to arrest gay men and transgendered women on prostitution charges in Manhattan’s streets and spas.

John Gechter, 22, a molecular biology senior, is suspended from Grove City College, about 50 miles north of Pittsburgh, for one year.

Gechter said he now intends to transfer to another school to complete the number of credits he needs to graduate. He said he hopes to use the credits to return to Grove City College and graduate next year.

A spokesperson for the college would confirm only that Gechter has withdrawn. 

He has not indicated where he intends to complete his studies and says he is still considering a lawsuit against the college.

Gechter earlier this week said he appeared in the online porn because he needed the money to pay his tuition and that he was suspended because of “my occupation. I was not doing anything illegal.”

The college said he was suspended because he “exhibited behavior contrary to the values” of the college.

He began is outside career when he was a sophomore, appearing in about 15 gay porn scenes under the screen name Vincent DeSalvo.

In an interview with The Allied News, he said his secret was discovered by another student who had been surfing the internet.  That student, according to Gechter, then emailed photos of a naked Gechter to other students.

Within hours, almost everyone on the campus had received the email. The following day the pictures came to the attention of college officials.

The non-denominational college says on its website “The ethical absolutes of the Ten Commandments and Christ’s moral teachings guide the effort to develop intellect and character in the classroom, chapel, and cocurricular activities.”

In 2003, the Princeton Review listing of colleges across the country listed Grove City College as the least gay-friendly campus in the country.

John Gechter, 22, was suspended by Grove City College because he “exhibited behavior contrary to the values” of the college.

But the molecular biology senior said he needed the money to pay his tuition.

“I absolutely believe this college violated my rights,” Gechter told the Allied News of Grove City. “They [suspended] me based on my occupation. I was not doing anything illegal.”

He began his outside career when he was a sophomore, appearing in about 15 gay porn scenes under the screen name Vincent DeSalvo.

In an interview with The Allied News, he said his secret was discovered by another student who had been surfing the internet.  That student, according to Gechter, then sent emails of photos of a naked Gechter to other students.

Within hours, almost everyone on the campus had received the email. The following day the pictures came to the attention of college officials.

The non-denominational college says on its website “The ethical absolutes of the Ten Commandments and Christ’s moral teachings guide the effort to develop intellect and character in the classroom, chapel, and co-curricular activities.”

No date has been set for hearing Gechter’s appeal.

In 2003, the Princeton Review listing of colleges across the country listed Grove City College as the least gay-friendly campus in the country.

In a court filing, lawyers for Cuadra stated that Cuadra “hereby appeals to the Superior Court of Pennsylvania from the conviction and sentence on March 16, 2009.”

Cuadra’s former lover and business partner, 35-year-old Joseph Kerekes, already is serving life after pleading guilty last December to second degree murder after making a deal with prosecutors.

Kocis’ body was discovered in his home in 2006 by firefighters responding to a blaze in the rural home. More than 80 percent of the body was covered by third-degree burns and police said the fire had been set deliberately to destroy evidence.

Forensics experts were able to resurrect the hard drive of a computer found at the scene. The contents led investigators to Cuadra and Kerekes.

Cuadra and Kerekes saw Kocis as a competitor.

The 27-year-old Cuadra had faced a death sentence, but the jury of eight men and four women could not reach a unanimous decision on whether the prosecution had met the burden of proof that the death penalty was appropriate.

During his trial, Cuadra took the stand in his own defense and testified that Kerekes was a controller.  He said that Kerekes managed his e-mail accounts and held Cuadra’s credit and identification cards at all times, even when they went out.

Cuadra, crying openly, told the jury that as a child he had been sexually abused by his stepfather and hid his homosexuality until he left the Navy.

But two police officers who arrested the pair offered conflicting testimony.

Luzerne County Detective Daniel Yersha told the court that after Cuadra listened to the charges he told investigators that Kerekes was not involved.

“He said, ‘Joe didn’t do it,’” Yersha testified.

A second detective involved in the arrest, Dallas Township police Sgt. Doug Higgins, corroborated Yersha’s testimony.

Higgins said that after the charges were read, something that took 75 minutes, he asked Cuadra if he were hungry.

“He blurted out, Joe didn’t do it,” Higgins testified.

A forensics investigator testified that a laptop computer seized from Cuadra’s home had several pictures of Kocis saved to it, as well as nude photos of Cuadra that were sent to Kocis just days before the killing.

The prosecution argued that the photos of Kocis were to help Cuadra identify him, and that the nude shots of Cuadra were meant as a lure to get into Kocis’ home.

The court has not indicated if it will entertain an appeal.

Weber’s body was found Sunday. His ankles were bound, and he was stabbed about 50 times. Wounds on his hands indicate he tried to fight back.

The 16-year-old suspect was arrested Tuesday night in Middletown, N.Y.. His identity is being withheld until formal charges are filed.

New York Police Department spokesman Paul Browne said the teen “made statements implicating himself” in Weber’s death.

Browne said that Weber apparently allowed the teen into his Brooklyn home after they met through Craigslist.

Local media in New York say that Weber had placed an ad on Craigslist looking for “rough sex” with a Hispanic man.

Long Island newspaper Newsday, quoting unnamed police sources, reported that the teen told investigators he saw it as an easy way to make money for smothering someone and engaging in other forms of rough sex.

Gay porn was reportedly strewn about the home.

The teen allegedly tried to clean up after the killing, then turned on the water taps throughout the home before fleeing.

Weber worked at WABC in New York for 12 years as the on-air reporter for popular shows such as “Curtis and Kuby.” He also had worked at stations in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Denver and Pennsylvania.