Conservatives need to come up with better theories, especially when the topic is sexuality. As most of you know the Values Summit happened this past weekend (the attendees went gaga over Ms. Prejean). Michael Schwartz, chief of staff for Sen. Tom Coburn, held a session on the evils of pornography. Here is what he opined:

“All pornography is homosexual pornography,” said Schwartz, repeating what an ex-gay friend told him, “because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards.”

You read right. According to Schwartz’s ex-gay friend (we all know that queen is at the sex club with his booty in the air….not that there is anything wrong with that) all porn is touched with the homosexuality. But hold on peoples because it gets better. Schwartz is convinced one way to keep 11 year old boys from loving show tunes is by telling them Dad’s Playboy will transform them into sodomites.

“And if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to get a copy of ‘Playboy’?” he said. “I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants!”

I hate children, but I know this much: Playboy’s hold on the imaginations of 11 year old boys is tenuous at best. When was that magazine last relevant? Forty years ago?

While I’m ranting, this is problem 423 about minority life. The majority will always point to some goofiness uttered by a tribe member (good morning Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson) to uphold their bigotry. Who better else to quote than some “ex-gay” nitwit for the juicy dirt on gay living?

One of the couples, Susan Barton and Gay Phillips, were married in California in Nov., British Columbia in May 2005 and a civil union in Vermont in August 2001. The second couple, Sharon Baldwin and Mary Bishop, have been in a committed relationship for 12 years.

1. I’m no expert (yet), but panhandling strikes me as a profession that requires a soft sell.

2. Do all Oklahoma politicians dance with the crazy?

3. Is it a good idea to keep allies from joining the federal lawsuit for gay marriage?

4. A Merlose Place redux? The first one stank. What TV executive green lighted this wreck?

5. Israeli Army soldier Shmuel Freimark’s lawyer needs to come up with a better excuse for his client’s madness. Threats to kill because your tribe is getting bad press is a dumb tactic.

6. The initial TABC report shows what most knew. The authorities had no business raiding the Rainbow Lounge this past June.

7. Are most baseball fans by nature nostalgic and anti-modernity?

8. For the first time in awhile I was able to go to my local bar this weekend, and not feign interest for a conversation.

9. Never liked any film by John Hughes (RIP). For some reason they never resonated. I did however, have a serious crush on Anthony Michael Hall. Always have love for the nerds.

10. This story shows it’s time for us old-heads to change up our views on sexuality.

I’m stealing this from Ta-Nehisi Coates, who got it from fellow Atlantic Monthly writer Andrew Sullivan, who picked it up from Think Progress’ Ian Millhiser. Not exactly six degrees of separation but close enough for this morning. Here is Oklahoma Sen. Jim  Inhofe coming to the support of former Sen. Trent Lott, when Lott said if the country had elected a segregationist for the White House we would have avoided so many headaches (like the Voting Rights Act).

“In an effort to honor the life and service of Strom Thurmond, Senator Lott made some comments that he probably wishes he had phrased differently. I do not believe Senator Lott meant to be malicious or racist with the comments he made. I believe he was merely honoring a great American on his 100th birthday [...] I do not believe he harbors racist sentiments in his heart.”

A few days ago, when talking about now Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, the Oklahoma senator had this to say:

“There is no other way you can interpret [Sotomayor's "wise Latina" speech]. She thinks that a woman with her experience can make a better conclusion than a white male – and to me, I consider that racist.”

Oh and by the way, Inhofe is certain of what is in Sotomayor’s heart even though he never talked to her. This logical dissonance is no surprise because the senior Oklahoma senator has made a career of kookiness for votes (no wonder he loves him some birthers).

Inhofe also gets tongue tied when the topic comes close to LGBT stuff . Who can forget this line in  2006 during the Federal Marriage Amendment debate?

“I’m really proud to say that in the recorded history of our family, we’ve never had a divorce or any kind of homosexual relationship.”

Oklahoma brothers and sisters: what’s the deal with your elected officials?

Yesterday we had two stories. The first was  about a  gay rights resolution passed by the National Education Association and the other covered some nuttiness spouted by Oklahoma lawmaker Sally Kern. The responses to both were disappointing and make me wonder if it’s time to stop reading our comment section.

Kern’s ramblings are silly. Few will dispute that; however, too many of the responses to Kern were sexist. Why people feel a need to call Kern out with language that only middle school boys use (or a certain gay gossip columnist)  is beyond reason. Please spare me any lines about how the revolution won’t be televised or whatever radical keyboard phrase people use now. It is possible to point out the large holes of logic in Kern’s diatribe without calling her names no one would ever call his/her grandmother. We gain nothing by taking down an opponent with sexist rhetoric. If you cannot be critical of Kern minus bigoted language, you and her are part of the problem. Both of you drink from the same well of ignorance.

As for the NEA resolution, the nation’s largest professional employee organization comes out for gay rights and says the marriage debate should be handled by the states. I guess if marriage rights is the only goal then the NEA is wobbly, but the organization’s resolution also asked for  “passage of a federal statute prohibiting federal discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity and expression.” That’s a huge get for gays and lesbians and we should hold it up proudly to our enemies. I’m sure it makes them gnash their teeth.

If you spent your day looking at the comments left here and other gay political sites, you would think our lives were pre-Stonewall . Should we be singing songs of jubilation? No. The stories of August Provost and Chad Gibson should remind us of the work that needs to be done; however, like columnist Dan Savage said after the California Supreme Court’s Prop 8 decision: we are winning. Sure it’s a long slog and there are setbacks, but we are winning. And if you know anything about this country’s history, people respond best to optimistic warriors.

Rep. Sally Kern said the U.S. is drifting from traditional Christian values as she sought signatures for her petition at a state Capitol rally attended by about 250 people including ministers and their followers, four other state lawmakers, and protesters who shouted “shame on you” and “hypocrite.”

“You are seeing a wonderful demonstration of intolerance,” the conservative Republican from Oklahoma City said of the hecklers.

Among other things, the proclamation says, “This nation has become a world leader in promoting abortion, pornography, same-sex marriage, sex trafficking, divorce, illegitimate births, child abuse and many other forms of debauchery.”

The proclamation declares the federal government “is forsaking the rich Christian heritage upon which this nation was built.”

Last year, gay and lesbian groups demanded Kern apologize after she told a political group that “the homosexual agenda is just destroying this nation” and poses a bigger threat to the United States than terrorism.

Prosecutors say the killing of Steven Domer, 62, was part of a gang initiation.

Domer was abducted in a gay neighborhood last October 26.  His burned-out car was found the following day and Domer’s body was discovered in a nearby ravine. An autopsy found he had been strangled with a coat hanger.

Friends said that Domer sometimes picked up other men for sex. Witnesses said that Domer was seen talking to two men the night he disappeared.

Investigators then began probing whether anyone known to be gay lived in the area where Domer’s body was found.

That led them to Darrell Lynn Madden, 38, described as bisexual.

At the time, Madden was already facing a murder charge in connection with the slaying of his friend Bradley Qualls. Qualls was murdered about ten days after Domer disappeared.

Madden was charged with the Domer killing while he lay in a hospital bed after being shot by police during his arrest for the Qualls murder.

Police allege that both Madden and Qualls were connected to the United Aryan Brotherhood, a violent white supremacist group.

According to an affidavit filed by the prosecutor in the Domer case, the killing was part of an initiation for Qualls. Both Qualls and Madden fit descriptions of the two men who Domer was seen talking to shortly before he disappeared.

The court documents show that Madden’s roommate told police he overheard Madden and another man talking about killing someone who “wouldn’t even fight back.”

A woman Madden had sometimes dated said she heard him and Qualls talk about killing a man, the affidavit stated.

Madden pleaded guilty in July to killing Qualls. His trial in the killing of Domer will begin Oct. 27.

An Inhofe ad being carried on Oklahoma television stations contains anti-gay overtones, showing a wedding cake topped by two plastic grooms and a photo of the Democratic candidate as a young man, curly haired and wearing a leather jacket.

Andrew Rice has responded with a commercial saying the attacks are “not true” and an indication Inhofe will do anything to keep his job, while avoiding talking about such issues as energy and the economy.

“He’s trying to morph me into something I’m not. What he’s doing is attacking my character,” Rice said Wednesday of the ad, which calls Rice “too liberal for Oklahoma.”

Inhofe said the ad is accurate. He pointed to news stories that Rice, before he became a state senator in 2006, founded a group that opposed a constitutional amendment to bar same-sex marriages.

Painting foes as liberals is nothing new for Inhofe, who takes credit for being the “most conservative member of the Senate.”

Inhofe was elected to the Senate in 1994 after a nasty campaign in which a man wearing a Pinocchio mask was hired to heckle Inhofe’s Democratic foe, then-Rep. Dave McCurdy, at public events.

That year gave birth to a “God, Guns and Gays” strategy benefiting the senator, who supported school prayer, opposed gun control and gays in the military.

Inhofe, in a telephone interview from Washington, recalled that 14 years ago he was told by a small group in Hugo that he would carry McCurtain County, a Democratic stronghold in southeastern Oklahoma.

He said he asked the Hugo residents why he would win, “and they said because of the three G’s. They’re the ones who came up with that and it became almost a chant out there.”

Rice has trailed Inhofe in recent public polls by more than 20 percentage points, but he said internal polling shows the race much closer.

“I feel we have a very good chance of pulling this out by Nov. 4,” said the 35-year-old state senator, who is married to an Oklahoma City doctor. They have two children.

So far, Rice has raised only about $2 million, compared to $6 million collected by Inhofe, who has bought television advertising time through Election Day.

Inhofe said his reputation as a negative campaigner is undeserved, but he also believes it is vital to define your opponent, especially one who is not well known at the start of a race.

Keith Gaddie, a University of Oklahoma political professor, said the Rice camp is trying to turn the tables by saying Inhofe’s ad “represents the old way of doing things, where all you do is slash and attack your opponent.”

Gaddie said the Inhofe commercial is a “rather witty and swiping cut” at Rice, but its timing is curious.

“There’s an old saying that if you have a good October ad, you don’t run it in September,” he said. “So you have to wonder what’s next?”

Rice said the negative ads against him show he is doing better in the race than some think.

Inhofe said he is not taking any chances. He said he is not worried about Rice, but is concerned he will be attacked by “the Hollywood crowd” for his views, including his stand that global warming is a hoax.

Rice planned a series of press events this week to highlight his energy ideas. He has repeatedly referred to Inhofe as an extreme partisan who has voted against tax credits for wind power and other alternative energy programs.

He said Inhofe should support a bipartisan energy plan pending in the Senate that is pushed by 10 Republicans and 10 Democrats, labeled “the Gang of 20.”

“If I were in the Senate, it would be the Gang of 21,” Rice said. He said the plan, which allows for some offshore drilling, is a compromise that would get the nation rolling toward energy independence.

Inhofe said he would not vote for the plan, which he criticized for not permitting drilling in an Alaska wildlife refuge.

He said five of his “best friends” had caved on the GOP idea of more expansive drilling. Inhofe has said the public’s demand for more drilling has given Republicans a winning issue on the campaign trail.

Patrol spokeswoman Chris West said Republican Rep. Sally Kern was not charged because there did not appear to be any “malicious intent” behind her actions.

West said officers are allowed to “use their brains” when determining if an arrest should be made in such instances.

West also confirmed a second incident in which Kern made it into the building with a gun in June.

Kern complained earlier this year of receiving death threats after an audio clip was posted on YouTube in which she calls homosexuality a bigger threat to the U.S. than terrorism.

Guns and knives are prohibited in the Capitol and those who enter must pass through an airport-style security checkpoint, including a metal detector and an X-ray machine. It is a misdemeanor to bring a weapon inside.

Kern told The Associated Press Wednesday that both incidents were simple mistakes.

The first time, the weapon got through the security checkpoint, she said.

“I got all the way up to my office before I realized I had it, so I reported it,” she said.

On Wednesday, she said she forgot to take the .380 caliber semiautomatic handgun out of her purse after she stopped to talk to a colleague.

“It was an honest mistake from being out of my routine, you know,” she said.

Kern said she had a permit for the gun and had carried it long before the YouTube controversy.