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Loading ...Report from California: Why we shouldn’t despair over Prop 8
Don’t get me wrong: We can be very, very sad about Prop 8.
None of the gay and lesbian couples who have been married in California managed to even reach a 6-month anniversary before this election.
And The Mormon Church alone poured $20 million into the Yes on 8 campaign. Twenty million dollars that could have been used to feed the hungry, train people for jobs, or build a hospital a cancer wing instead got used to make misleading ads to stop people who just wanted to marry each other in peace.And the people of California, the great bastion of liberal tolerance, have just decided to set aside a group of people and take away a fundamental right.
All of that is sickening and sad.
But what I saw volunteering for the No on 8 campaign was amazing.
This was the largest movement for GLBT rights in history.
I worked with people who were gay, straight, bi, and transgendered, and from every ethnic, age, and economic group.
I’m still touched by the number of straight people I volunteered with who didn’t have a gay sibling, cousin, or uncle. Technically, Prop 8 didn’t affect them personally, but they took the stance that any discriminatory law affects them personally. That is progress.
Thousands of people volunteered to stand outside of polling places for anywhere from four to fourteen hours on Election Day. More people volunteered than any of the No on 8 leaders had dreamed of – the Silverlake phone bank I worked at met its goal for Election Day recruiting five days early and kept on going. That is progress.
And Barack Obama got elected. We can finally say goodbye to the Presidential regime that actively promoted fear and hatred of the GLBT community and hello to moving forward in tolerance and acceptance. That is one hell of a lot of progress.
Several of my friends have asked me how Prop 8 happened in crazy-for-Obama California, and I think it was only last night that I truly understood. My last polling place was in a mixed neighborhood – half-hipster, half deeply religious. I was positioned on a corner by a stop sign.
And car after car took, as I gradually realized, an extra-long stop at the empty intersection while the driver took a moment to look at me. Just to look.
It wasn’t a hate stare. It was a zoo stare. People were looking at me because they thought they might be seeing someone with a different sexual orientation for the first time, and they wanted to know what one looked like. They were living, socializing, and going to church in a community where it’s not OK to be out, and they really didn’t know that, yes, they probably have met gay and bi people before, and might even be related to a few.
Prop 8 didn’t happen because of hatred, it happened because of ignorance. And ignorance is something that chips away. As we make it easier for people in all communities to understand that, yes, they do have gay neighbors and bi siblings and transgendered aunts and they’re actually pretty nice people and the world hasn’t fallen apart, Prop 8 will seem sadder and sillier. And it will go away.
Ignorance is something we can handle. It just takes time.
Please don’t despair.
Ali Davis is a writer and performer in Los Angeles.
We lost because we let a log cabin republican and other conservatives lead a reactionary, inconsistent, non-emotional campaign that had little to no presence in many areas of our state and failed to build the kind of coalition we needed to win. Do not erase queer people of color by blaming non-whites for this failure. We were 17 points ahead at the start…
Finally someone brings up that all these millions of dollars churches and others put into banning gay marriage they could have used to help the poor or people with cancer. It shows where their true priorities lie: bigotry, hate, and discrimination.
Correct me if I am wrong, but won’t the amendment be placed between the Equal protection clause and an anti-discrimination clause in the California Constitution itself?
Thereby rendering that constitution an hypocrisy in action?
I don’t care that Obama was elected. Today I hate my country, and I will ALWAYS hate it.
As long as this country is based on christian fantasy we will always lose, and Obama is not a help to us. Screw it, I just don’t care anymore and I will never, ever, vote again.
Dear George Applegate,
You can not let their ignorance make you hate your country. You can not let their ignorance steal from you something so precious as your vote. You can not let their ignorance make you become an unresponsive citizen. You can not let their ignorance become the reason for you to withdraw from being a political animal. You can not let their ignorance overshadow your intelligence and your ability and right to stand up and express your feelings. If you let their ignorance deal you injustice without making your feelings known, then and only then will their IGNORANCE have won the war. Sit back, take a deep breath, have a couple of drinks, and then step up and fight “their ignorance” and never let the bastards get you down or let them see you sweat and know that the battles we fight today contribute to winning the wars of the future. This war is FAR from being over. Just remember that the opera is not over until the fat lady sings, and I am willing to bet that she is just warming up backstage. Stay tuned. You might like the music of the finale.
PS. Please remember that some young, gay man or woman, purchased your right to vote with their blood being spilled on hills and mountains of this nation, on the beaches of foreign nations, in the deserts of North Africa, and on the atolls of the Pacific Ocean. That same vote was made pure by the tears of countless mothers, fathers, grandparents, sisters, brothers and friends of millions of our brothers and sisters from the Revolutionary War to today’s middle eastern debacle. Please don’t let it go to waste because you are currently a bit disappointed by the ignorance of others. Something purchased so dearly would be a shame to throw away so lightly.
Although I am happy that Barack has won the presidency, all of the votes against gays has definitely taken the shine off of what is the brightest moment in America’s history.
I am still sickened and numbed by it.
Even though I don’t live in California, I find this to be a strong blow, but the thing the upsets me the most is the fact that TAX EXEMPT Church’s have pored so much money into a political campaign. I feel that if they are going to use their tax free money to fund politics that they should then have their money and property taxed like every other person and business/organization in this
country!
How ever I think that good can come out of this if we learn from what went wrong this time around, that we need to be even more determined and to chip away at the ignorance that is the root of this devastating loss aggressively, just like the civil rights movement and women’s rights movement did.
it’s EXACTLY this kind of naive reasoning that allows the breeders to SHIT all over us!! WAKE THE FUCK UP GAY CALIFORNIA!!!!!!!!!!!
While I can’t go so far as to hate America, I do feel a deep revulsion & disgust. Obama’s election means nothing to me. He’s already on record as opposing same sex marriage. He’s visibly disgusted by us. For Gay people, by any other name, Obama is just another George Bush.
Maybe, just maybe, America will be ready for same sex marriage in 50-100 years. Folks: I’m 52 years old. I don’t have that kind of time frame. Prop 8 made any future relationship completely pointless. It can’t go anywhere, so why even bother? It’ll never be anything but a cheap, long-term trick.
No: I don’t quite hate America. I no longer care enough to hate.
What a great day for the black community – I wanted to vote for an black man for president my whole life.
The black community celebrated by kicking gay people into the gutter.
So true
Just a thought: If 48% of Californians do not think a ban on same-sex marriage should exist, why don’t we just put an initiative to remove that ban on the ballot for next year?
WOW I AM SO SHOCKED ABOUT THE HATE THAT IS STILL A BIG PART OF CALIFORNIA I KNOW ITS THE Mormon Church AND THE REST OF THE CHURCH CROWD WHO ARE SHEEP LEAD TO THE SLAUGHTER,BECAUSE OF THEIR IGNORANCE.
BUT IGNORACEE IS A DISEASE WE CAN CURE, WITH EDUCATION, TIME AND TOLERANCE. BUT ITS HARD NOT TO WANT TO HATE THEM BACK I’AM TRIED OF THE BREEDER CROWDS HATE! WHAT ARE THEY SO SCARED OF? WHY ARE THEY SO WORRY ABOUT WHAT I DO IN BED? TO WIN THE WAR YOU MUST KNOW YOUR ENEMEY, AND WHAT I KNOW IS THAT THEY HATE US BECAUSE THEY DO NOT KNOW US!
TO VANNDEAN AMEN!!!!!
AS A FORMER MILITARY MAN I THANK YOU FOR THE BLOOD THE FLOWS THOUGHT MY VEINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am tired. I am tired of watching us act like we should be grateful for any little crumb that is tossed our way. We can argue endlessly over whether it’s hate or ignorance or money or religion (well, maybe we can concede on that point). But why are we so willing to be conciliatory to those who rant against us. Will our patience and understanding get us anything more than a few gold stars in some cosmic ledger? How far do we expect to educate people? Our newly elected leader speaks out that he is against same sex marriage. Oh, yeah, that’s right, it is all about the political game. Shhh. Oh, he is against amending the constitutions for discrimination. Where was his strong iteration of that message to the black churches, hey, to everybody in California? And where were all of the gay people in the entertainment industry during this campaign? All of the gay business leaders. The gay clergy & teachers? Where was the visibility needed to put a face on our cause? COME OUT ALREADY. I know we gays are supposed to enjoy irony, but the whole first black president vs. enshrining discrimination in 4 more states – not so entertaining. I’m also angry. I sent my New York money to No on 8 in California. I had to travel to Massachussets in September to get married on my 25th anniversary. I should still feel happy about that. Instead I’m fearful. Because we couldn’t get it together in at least California. we should all be angry. We should all be ready to stand together and demand full equality NOW. There’s no grace in being given a tiny bit of hope. Not today. Not in this country. Every person in this country knows someone, probably loves someone who is gay, whether they realize it or not (even Ms. Palin – how’d she get Ms.? I thought she hated the feminists who made it possible for her to get where she is. even Ms. Palin has gay friends). We all need to come out, stay out stand strong, make noise, make demands and not rest until every person in this country can enjoy the same freedoms and rights asevery other person.