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Loading ...Report from California: Why we shouldn’t despair over Prop 8
Don’t get me wrong: We can be very, very sad about Prop 8.
None of the gay and lesbian couples who have been married in California managed to even reach a 6-month anniversary before this election.
And The Mormon Church alone poured $20 million into the Yes on 8 campaign. Twenty million dollars that could have been used to feed the hungry, train people for jobs, or build a hospital a cancer wing instead got used to make misleading ads to stop people who just wanted to marry each other in peace.And the people of California, the great bastion of liberal tolerance, have just decided to set aside a group of people and take away a fundamental right.
All of that is sickening and sad.
But what I saw volunteering for the No on 8 campaign was amazing.
This was the largest movement for GLBT rights in history.
I worked with people who were gay, straight, bi, and transgendered, and from every ethnic, age, and economic group.
I’m still touched by the number of straight people I volunteered with who didn’t have a gay sibling, cousin, or uncle. Technically, Prop 8 didn’t affect them personally, but they took the stance that any discriminatory law affects them personally. That is progress.
Thousands of people volunteered to stand outside of polling places for anywhere from four to fourteen hours on Election Day. More people volunteered than any of the No on 8 leaders had dreamed of – the Silverlake phone bank I worked at met its goal for Election Day recruiting five days early and kept on going. That is progress.
And Barack Obama got elected. We can finally say goodbye to the Presidential regime that actively promoted fear and hatred of the GLBT community and hello to moving forward in tolerance and acceptance. That is one hell of a lot of progress.
Several of my friends have asked me how Prop 8 happened in crazy-for-Obama California, and I think it was only last night that I truly understood. My last polling place was in a mixed neighborhood – half-hipster, half deeply religious. I was positioned on a corner by a stop sign.
And car after car took, as I gradually realized, an extra-long stop at the empty intersection while the driver took a moment to look at me. Just to look.
It wasn’t a hate stare. It was a zoo stare. People were looking at me because they thought they might be seeing someone with a different sexual orientation for the first time, and they wanted to know what one looked like. They were living, socializing, and going to church in a community where it’s not OK to be out, and they really didn’t know that, yes, they probably have met gay and bi people before, and might even be related to a few.
Prop 8 didn’t happen because of hatred, it happened because of ignorance. And ignorance is something that chips away. As we make it easier for people in all communities to understand that, yes, they do have gay neighbors and bi siblings and transgendered aunts and they’re actually pretty nice people and the world hasn’t fallen apart, Prop 8 will seem sadder and sillier. And it will go away.
Ignorance is something we can handle. It just takes time.
Please don’t despair.
Ali Davis is a writer and performer in Los Angeles.
You are living a dream, my dear. We are now the ones at the back of the bus mostly due to the minorities that we helped to gain their civil rights. The African American, Asian and Hispanic community can now feel superior that they have someone they can look down on. Never again should the LGBT community speak-up for civil rights for any minority other than our own. Damn them all!!!
It wasn’t ignorance, it was money that helped Prop 8 pass. TV and radio was saturated with “Yes on 8″ ads warning about children being taught gay marriage in school. Did anyone both to point out that no child was taught anything about gay marriage since the court legalized gay marriage?
Prop 8 passed because of bad money management and bad strategy. The “No on 8″ never went on the attack.
Jonathan – you are plain wrong – it is not the time to sit back complacently and just wait for “them” to doll out our civil rights. We should yell and scream from every corner against the bigotry displayed yesterday. The hypocrisy of several other minority group. The hypocrisy of the religious right. The hypocrisy of the republicans who claim “smaller government” but then push more governmental control. I am not advocating that we don’t have dialoges with “those” people…but I’ll be damned if we should continue to sit back and be pacified that “in time” we’ll get what we should have had all along – EQUALITY!!!! It is time to be angry. It is time to do more. It is time we demand more from the gay community, our straight allies, from the government, and from OURSELVES as well. It is time we rise up and file complaints with the IRS when religious groups give tens of millions of dollars to dehumanize, lie, and mislead others into hating us. Time to demand more from the party we have long supported and helped bring to the white house. Certainly past time to demand more from our gay leaders and the money a vast majority of us give year in and year out and yet so not significant change. If you look back 10 years ago, how many States had Constitutional provisions explicitly barring us from our Civil Rights? How about today? Are we better off now for it? In the past 10-15 years we’ve seen DADT, DOMA, and one anti-gay amendment after another. While some may simply be ignorant – the most are out and out hateful and it is time we fight back!
Thank you so much for your commentary. People are so quick to play the blame game but they need to look at the bigger picture and understand that THIS IS NOT THE END. come on people. If anything this is the beginning to fight some more for rights for all. It can happen, Yes we Can!
Prop 8 passed because a large portion of Americans (Californians specifically in this case) are so enamored by their imaginary friend that they think everyone else should be, too.
Both the Mormon and the Catholic churches should be held accountable for the damage they’ve done. Revoking their tax-exempt status would be a small start. If they’re going to mess with civil laws, let them pay their way, too.
No representation without taxation!
I, too give two cheers for the election of Obama. But if I could have chosen for Prop 8 to be defeated, and McCain to be elected, I would have voted so in a heartbeat. Now, gays are the white niggers of America
I guess we have to stop supporting black candidates. I voted for Obama. If supporting black candidates brings more ‘phobes to the polls – I guess we don’t need anymore of them. I should have voted for Hilary. Presidents come and go. Constitutional amendments – are another matter.
After being in a relationship for 34 years with another woman, I didn’t think it necessary to marry, but she wanted to, so I did.
I was surprised at how different it made me feel. I felt a part of something bigger than myself. Today, I wish I hadn’t married. Instead of being an outsider, I’m an outlaw.
The LDS site has a link for “Feedback”:
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=3e920fd41d93b010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&hideNav=true
Thank you Ali Davis for such an elloquent letter. It does however make me sick that we lost because the right-wing will do whatever it takes to push their agenda. Equality is guarenteed by the constitution and had to be enforced by the court. I believe in taking the “high-road” in a fight. I believe in honesty, integrity and that love conquers hate, and that bullys never prosper. But right now, for me, its hard for me not to want to go on the attack.
SUCCINCT! Yes, it happened out of ignorance of the ‘unknown’ whipped up to a frenzy by lies of it being trainable and catchable and horrible…spewed by the YES on H8 crowd. OVER AND OVER AND OVER again I wrote to EQCA to JUST GET THE STORIES OUT..stories of real people with real parents, and children and siblings and coworkers who just want to build a family with love. ELLEN should have had at least 3 stories a day on her show, of people from all over California…showing how normal they are! The MSM and our out celebrities of HRC FAILED us miserably in educating away the fear.
MD Flemming: you’re right, today we are the pink niggers of america.
It’s time to get angry and show rage. It’s time to punch back. We have let them walk all over us and beat us down and we don’t stand up for ourselves. I am so upset and angry and depressed today that I can barely function. I blame the “No on 8″ people who failed big time with ads that didn’t even say the word gay. No ads with couples together for 50 years asking why they can’t have social security benefits or inheritance rights or educate people about the 1000+ rights that come with marriage but not with civil unions. No exposing of the millions mormons spent, separation of church and state. They should have showed images of those freaks in Texas who had their kids taken away and the wifes with the braided hair and why mormons are interfering in California. They should have exploited the mormons and called them hypocrites with their bigamist views. We didn’t punch back. But what you expect when a gay republican is put in charge of the movement. We need new leaders and we need protests and even riots in the street. I would applaud if every Kinghts of Columbus, and every Catholic and LDS church in America burned to the ground today.
Michael,
That comment wasn’t nice at all…. Not to mention that SUGGESTS Only White people are “Gay”
O, but maybe you have a point, since “Black”,”Latino” and “Asian” Cultures make them “have to stay in closet on the Down Low” I have literally heard this… no reason to Make it up!
One of my favorite is a “latin” man saying I am not “gay” “as long as I just get my dick sucked”…. YOU ARE GAY!
OUT EM! Or put them on fast track to an education.
Maybe we should blame the gays that seek out these type of guys? Its like the Whore and John question. If you didnt have “johns” you wouldn’t have “prostitutes.” right?
I am so over the EXCUSES about not coming out for any gay, bi person. and it makes me want to puke! Get some balls and be real men and women, stand UP like everyone has to do and Come out the closet!
They are gonna make us carry the Cross one way are the other, we might as well do it together!
Furthermore, I should NOT have to go to someone’s CHURCH and Ask for PERMISSION to be an Equal citizen of this country…
this is just getting absolutely out of hand and absurd!
SEPERATION OF RELIGION AND STATE, Isn’t that 5th grade American History?
WRITE YOUR CONGRESSMEN AND TELL THEM YOU WANT THE CHURCHES TO BE TAXED!
I DONT THINK PPL> REALIZE THEY PAY NO TAXES!!!! THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY ABUSING THEIR POWER IN NAME OF GOD…. HMmm. WHAT WILL ST. PETER JuDGE OF THEM for HURTING MY FAMILY, your families?
If the CHRISTIANS was trying to start a new civil war and NEW CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT, they are on!
MAYBE they are just wanting to decrease their numbers they for sure have one less now. I can’t believe in shit and follow along with a group of absolute evil, Hateful, Vile People.
They can have God… good luck to them.
I’m moving to Holland, they are “godless” (as they say) and have gay marriage, and they love all their citizens, but they have not fallen off the earth!
Denmark has been having Gay marriage since the 1980’s did they fall off the face of earth yet? maybe i’ll go there….
I’m through the roof!
I think CALI should be Boycotted from GLBT Dollars, in the Pro-Prop 8 areas. They can kiss the green off my ————–
Out of Obama and McPalin, Obama was no brainer our best choice, I don’t think he is “happy” to see prop 8 win. but then who knows. TIME WILL TELL!
PEACE ALL.
Sometimes even if it doesn’t make sense, it sure is nice to have dialogue going or “bitch” sessions, no matter how ugly at least the truth comes out and from there we can truly get to work on the real issues! Not to mention we can’t get too upset because that is what “FOCUS ON THE FAMILY” wants, he wants more of us to kill ourselves. So I am here for anyone no matter if you are out or not or no matter what your race is, etc. We are all human afterall!
OK, now it’s time to REALLY help California “protect” marriage. How do we start a new constitutional initiative to “Eliminates Right of Heterosexual Couples to Divorce”?