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Loading ...Neff: Believe it or not
I woke up April 1. Rubbed my eyes. Fed the cats. Started the coffee. Checked the news on my laptop.
I read a report of a statement from more than 1,000 retired military officers opposed to repealing “don’t ask, don’t tell.” The statement said allowing gays to serve openly in the Armed Forces “would undermine recruiting and retention, impact leadership at all levels, have adverse effects on the willingness of parents who lend their sons and daughters to military service, and eventually break the All-Volunteer Force.”Am I still dreaming? I thought.
They seriously think allowing gays to serve openly in the military will break the all-volunteer force?
Britain must be doomed.
I read more news.
A 365gay.com headline announced, “eHarmony now loves gay people. Really,” and the story informed me that a November 2008 court settlement paved the way for eHarmony to come out — literally – with a website to match gays and lesbians.
Maybe, I thought, I read too fast in my morning haze, maybe it’s not enough simply to smell the coffee brewing. Perhaps I missed the sentence that stated that the adamantly hetero eHarmony, with its Compatible Partners site, intends to help gay men partner with lesbians, sort of an ex-gay, reparative therapy online dating service.
I looked more closely at the date on the page.
At the date in the corner of my MacBook desktop.
At the date on my cellphone.
Aha.
April Fool’s Day.
I laughed.
Got me.
Ha, ha.
But the news on April 1 turned out to be news — the truth be stranger than fiction or April Fool’s Day pranks.
More than 1,000 retired military officers really did sign an absurd statement implying that if gays and lesbians could come out in the U.S. Armed Forces, mothers and fathers would not let their sons or daughters go into the Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines or Coast Guard.
Of course, the signature-collecting campaign is just another empty effort by the Center for Military Readiness to stir right-wing opposition to repealing “don’t ask, don’t tell.” The center is getting locked and loaded for the battle in Congress and with the Obama Administration. In the process, the Michigan-based group made fools of some career, high-ranking officers.
And yes, matchmaker eHarmony really is offering an alternative site for gays and lesbians looking for romance, with the first 10,000 people to register to get free memberships.
Of course, eHarmony’s relationship with the gay community is not exactly characterized as blissful — no love at first sight. Compatible Partners is the product of a lawsuit, not a lovefest.
A gay man denied the services of eHarmony, founded by born-again Christian Dr. Neil Clark Warren and closely connected in its early years with the anti-gay Focus on the Family and James Dobson, lodged a complaint with the New Jersey Attorney General’s Office. The NJAG found probable cause for the complaint to go forward. The matchmaking service settled, agreeing to create Compatible Partners, a “gay dating service for relationship-minded gay and lesbian singles.”
The dating service, as spelled out in the terms of agreement at compatiblepartners.net, is not available to married people, or those involved in civil unions or domestic partnerships.
Will Compatible Partners successfully pair gays?
The website contains a warning: “The Company’s patented Compatibility Matching System was developed on the basis of research involving married heterosexual couples. The company has not conducted similar research on same-sex relationships.”
But who knows, maybe a Chuck and a Joe or a Sara and an Amy will find the happiness that Brent and Laura — engaged last September after meeting through eHarmony — found, or the joy that Paul and Stephanie — engaged last October after meeting through eHarmony — found.
To the singles who test the system: Do kiss, do tell. And I hope the joke is not on you.
Let whoever gay,straight,male ,female…we are all Americans and have the RIGHT to join and serve this Country of ours with NO QUESTIONS asked! I would LOVE to chat with people on this subject dunbardwaynew@yahoo.co.uk and look forward to it
If the solders or solders to be, that guard my country and it’s nuclear missiles feel that they can not protect themselves from a supposedly wayward penis or vagina they have no business being in the military in the first place. They belong in a psych ward.
I think the whole eHarmony lawsuit was stupid. Who cares if they only want straight people. I can’t even begin to count the number of gay dating sites that exclude straight people. ManHunt anyone? I don’t see anything wrong with a dating site that has a singular focus. This is political correctness gone too far.
It’s funny how some of us gays think we should be allowed to use any site, but on the flip side create our own sites and think it’s fine to exclude straights. It was a stupid lawsuit that should have never been filed. If eHarmony was smart, they would have launched their own lawsuit against gay only dating sites.
I still say we boycott eHarmony!
Whether the product of a lawsuit or economic downturn and the need for gay cash, they still shunned us for years. Why turn to them now for help with our relationships? Where is the LGBTQ Venture Capitalist that is inspired to create an all-inclusive relationship pairing web service for persons of and sexual preference?
Let’s do the right thing – show them we can do it better!
Out of curiosity I signed up for Compatible Partners this week – well, out of curiosity and the fact I happen to be single (ahem) – and I can say it seems legit. First impression is that it attracts a more conservative gay crowd with lots of self-identified Christians and men who have, or want, children. Of course that could just be what their ‘proprietary algorithm,’ or whatnot, has determined is best for me. Free memberships are still to be had so I say try it out if you are so inclined. I got a match today from Perth, Australia, which is SO not local, so they would probably benefit from having more members. The big question is what will happen to our gay $$ once they start charging, but that’s the question with any gay networking site (Manhunt, cough, cough).
I had a conversation with a friend who is in the armed forces this past weekend about just this topic of repealing DADT. He was actually in favor of DADT for the sole reason of: “There are too many homophobes in the military.” Even after mentioning that other nations have incorporated gays just fine in their barracks, he still wouldn’t budge from his idea that it just won’t work!
Anyone who cannot contribute to full group cohesion in a unit due to differences in sexuality, religion, gender, or political affiliation is not a good soldier but a LIABILITY. If you watch someone’s back and help keep them alive, they aren’t going to care who you are or what you believe.
Anti-repealers of DADT, bring me some evidence or your argument has no substance.
Once again the United States shows itself to be the most backward country in the western world. While virtually all of the rest of the civilised world has gay and lesbian personnel serving openly, none of those forces have collapsed. Narrow-minded Americans still refuse to face the fact that homosexuality IS compatible with military service. The evidence elsewhere supports that. If there is a problem in the US military it is with the heteros who are so bigoted and insecure in their own sexuality. THEIR attitudes are the biggest threat to unit cohesion. What a bunch of sorry losers. I despair of the USA ever becoming a world leader in the area of morality. What a shame. But then, what do you expect from a nation which still has the death penalty?
HOW DOES OUR U.S. MILITARY DEAL WITH OTHER COUNTRIES THAT HAVE OPENLY SERVING GAYS IN THEM -LIKE THE HIGHLY PRAISED NETHERLANDS, BRITAIN, ISRAEL, SPAIN, CANADA, ETC,, THESE COUNTRIES ARE THERE FIGHTING RIGHT BESIDE US IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN.OK FOR THEM BUT NOT FOR US?? PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO US.
eHarmony didn’t want our business and fought it in court. Why should the LBGTQ community support their SEPARATE BUT EQUAL Compatible Partners?
Do they have separate sites for racists, atheists? Then why separate LGBTQ?
As a US Army veteran, I am not surprised by this statement from 1,000 backward, out of touch military “leaders.” They are stuck in the 1800s in their thinking, and don’t give a damn if the gays proficient in Arabic languarges are kicked out for being gay, and the terrorist messages go untranslated and thus American soldiers die. After all, what are a few thousand lives compared to the necessity of perpetuating our bigotry? What a disgusting bunch of idiots—and these people were/are leading our military?! Scarey, isn’t it!
I decided to join compatible partners because part of their settlement stated that they had to offer the service free to “x” number of people for a short period of time. And, after all, free is free. Beyond the fact that part of the system are clearly taken directly from match.com, other parts are ODDLY suggestive that people there seem to think that frequent promiscuous sex is way more important to gays than it is to straights. However, ignoring THAT little irksome stereotype, I have actually met someone who seems to be pretty interesting using it. So time will tell.
You have to be 18 yrs. or older to join, which means, who gives a rat’s [freaking] dirty [butt]what their parents think!
This is just some smoke cloud these old BIGOTS are trying to hide behind.
They are so worried that we are gonna “Corrupt” the Heteros.
Why dont we just start a “LGBT” Platoon?
I’ll be in it. We can gather ALL the LGBT that has been Kicked out and we will recruit new LGBT, we can use private funding for our training, etc…
We will make sure THEY are not able to join, we will have the most educated, the most conversed in different languages!
We will be FIERCE!
I’m serious… Our Patches on our uniform will be the flag with rainbow flag with pink triangle in the center!
I may be a small lil gay dude, but I can kick some [butt] and shoot a gun just as good as the rest of em!
Of course the 1000 “old boys network” now retired from DOD want DADT maintained after all what a farce it is…Because it “creates no substantive nor procedure rights”. In short the policy maintains open unchecked, homosexual witch-hunting that once initiated by the unit commander on a whim, in retaliation, or simply beacuse the wind changes direction, that 100% guarantees an administrative discharge or worse a prosecutorial kanagaroo court under the arcane U.C.M.J.
No rules – no rights – no redress! Now why would the “old boys network” want anything to do with any proposed change that might hinder their witch-hunting and allow adults (not kids as they always refer to the troops) to be themselves and have the rights that other Americans have such as “due process of law” and the right to have private consensual sexual relationships without government intrusion…
Well if parents are so STUPID to not let their sons or daughters join the military just in case they may see a homo then we don’t need them anyway right? How can they stand the bang of a gun or the sight of a terrorist, whatever that is, if they can’t handle gay people. No wonder why I REFUSE to fly an ameriKKKan flag.
I think parents want their children to meet felons and drug abusers more than committed homosexuals who love their country! The felons and drug abusers get sign on bonuses, and here in Dallas forged High school deplomas, forged by recruiters! Huh, I could be wrong. on character and morals here.