I live in New York City, and to my knowledge have never met a transman. However, since I watch “everything” I can (movies and tv) about trans people, I have started looking at some people in bars and think I can sometimes tell — but I sure am not insensitive enough to ask.

I know the “revealing” part is difficult — you *are* a man so why have to point out your genitalia up front? However waiting to reveal it carries real inherent dangers as well. It’s not easy. I love the way that issue was dealt with in Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

I really enjoyed the dating series on Logo too, when the transgender m2f had a suitor that was f2m, and how that issue was dealt with. I’m also horrified by some of the contestants remarks about the m2f transgendered contestant on America’s Top Model (including a girl from SC who said the TG girl would be shot in her hometown, as well as the fact most contestants had no idea what a TG person was).

What has always intrigued me is that some male penises are very tiny and dyfunctional and basically a source of embarrassment to the guys born male who have them — I wonder how a f2m could be happy with something like that or similar.

I’ve gotten off track here ….. Good luck in your quest. For me I know it is hell to know you are a female and everyone *knows* you are male, and vice versa.

From a physical safety point it is probably best to be honest about the “equipment”. I don’t think it’s necessary to do a “show and tell.” How many times has disappointment abounded when a one night stand didn’t live up to our fantasy?

My view of transgender people has changed rather rapidly. I still personally only know one. But, I watched the oral arguments before the California Supreme Court in the marriage case and Shannon Minter was absolutely HOT! Of course I was totally oblivious to the fact that he was a FTM.

I was a bit taken aback when I discovered he was transgender. It still didn’t change my opinion of him as being hot. I had never really given much thought about transgender people other than they existed, somewhere. I’m not at the point I could accept a sexual relationship with a trans person, but I have realized they are no different from others and deserve my equal treatment and support.