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Loading ...Corvino: Prop 8 and the rest of us
Last week I participated in a Prop. 8 protest in Los Angeles. It was a peaceful event, on a gorgeous day, and I couldn’t help but be inspired by the large numbers who turned out to stand up for equal rights.
Let’s be honest, though: after a while, listening to speeches gets boring, and marching in the sun is exhausting. I tried to amuse myself by reading the signs, some of which were quite funny. My favorite: “My two lesbian moms can beat up your six wives.”But then the professor in me kicked in, and I wanted to go around and correct the typos. (“There is no J in ‘religious’, dear, and please don’t abuse semi-colons.”)
So I started focusing on the chants. These have not changed much since I began attending rallies in the early 90’s. “What do we want? Equal rights! When do we want ‘em? Right now!”
After two hours of the same, however, I felt the need to mix it up a bit. “What do we want? Bloody Marys! When do we want ‘em? Right now!” (Honestly, I did think that someone should have provided a proper brunch. Hello, we’re GAY.)
Then my single friends got in the act. “What do I want? That hunk over there! When do I want him? 8 tonight!” I asked, “Why 8?” and they explained that a power nap would be necessary after all this marching.
Some of you might think that I shouldn’t joke about a serious civil rights event.
If you are one of those people, have a Bloody Mary and get over yourself.
While doing so, please reflect on the fact that although the Prop. 8 result was a huge disappointment, in the grand scheme of things the situation for gays in California is not that bad.
California gays will go back to having virtually all the statewide legal incidents of marriage via domestic-partnership legislation. That’s not quite as good as marriage, but, as my dad would say, it’s better than a sharp stick in the eye.
Relative to California, “sharp stick in the eye” is the gay-rights norm in most states, metaphorically speaking.
In my home state of Michigan, not only do we lack domestic-partner legislation, our constitution bans it. And our attorney general interprets that ban as prohibiting public employers from offering health-insurance benefits, for example, to same-sex partners.
This past election day, Florida passed a ban similar to Michigan’s, and thus much worse than California’s Prop. 8. Not only did it pass, it passed with a whopping 62% of the vote. With all the fuss over California, you may not have heard about it.
Arizona passed a ban that was limited to marriage, and thus less obnoxious than Florida’s and Michigan’s (and many others). But Arizona’s ban appeared on the ballot only because of a dishonest last-minute parliamentary maneuver—another story you should have heard about, but probably didn’t.
And for the worst bit of gay election-day news, consider Arkansas, which passed a ban on unmarried persons serving as adoptive or foster parents. That ban was specifically targeted to fight “the gay agenda,” but what it means is that thousands of children who could have stable loving homes will instead languish in state care.
Yes, it hurts to have a right taken away, as happened in California. And it’s an egregious injustice to have minority rights taken away by a majority vote—a close one, no less. But there are other bad things happening to gay people elsewhere, and some of them are horrific.
Please remember that are places in the world where people are hanged for consensual gay sex, and where it is dangerous even to speak out in their defense. Please remember that, just a few years ago, consensual gay sex was illegal in over a dozen states here in the U.S.
If it takes California to get people across the nation marching and chanting about civil rights, so be it. It’s an enchanting place in many ways. But please remember that many of us in the “flyover” states would be grateful to have the status that gay Californians now (quite rightly) find insulting.
I ask you to remember these things, not because they excuse the current injustice in California (they don’t) or render its correction unimportant (ditto). Indeed, one can make the case that California progress (or lack thereof) has a profound effect on the rest of the nation.
I ask you to remember them, rather, for two reasons. First, to remind us of how far we’ve come in short time, all across the nation. And second, to stress that the nation is a large one, with a lot happening in between its two coasts. Please remember the rest of us.
John Corvino, Ph.D. (www.johncorvino.com) is an author, speaker, and philosophy professor at Wayne State University in Detroit. His column appears Fridays at 365gay.com. He is currently traveling in London.
I am originally from the Ohio Valley. In my late 20’s I moved to California and stayed for nearly 20 years. In 1992, my partner and I, yea even, my husband and I, were hit by the recession so badly we had to leave California because we could no longer afford to live in Anaheim. And that was not an expensive place to begin with. Nonetheless, we have a DP from Laguna Beach, long before the statewide version took place. It may only be good in Laguna Beach, but it meant a lot to have a piece of paper with our names on it as a committed couple. And it has paid off in Florida by getting me extra benefits from Disney. I only hope the anti-same-sex marriage amendment in Florida will not affect it, else I WILL GO TO COURT over the loss of my benefits. I still do not drink (Florida) orange juice over the Anita Bryant disgrace years ago.
So, for those who would like to live in Southern California, it has good weather.
BUT, I did get tired of the fires, the floods, the drive-by shootings (in my own front yard, btw), the helicopter malathion spraying everywhere, the traffic, the EARTHQUAKES (shaken out of bed by a 7.4 and 7.2 the day before we drove out of the state, on PRIDE day, none the less, and called “QUEERQUAKE” that day), the outrageous real estate prices, the big-big taxes, and the unparalleled unemployment in my life, TO NAME A FEW bad characteristics of such a place.
I had a good job that paid well, but we could not afford to live there on one salary. I took a 60% cut in pay to go to Ohio, and we lived 10 times better than what California offered … even still offers.
We moved to Florida in the late 1990’s, and bought triple the house for the same money we paid in Ohio. Of course, everyone followed and the Florida real estate has taken the country’s worst dive in known history. I like the rain here, but not the winter cold, but even that is much better than anywhere along the Ohio Valley.
OK, what is the point? We have done Illinois, West Virginia, Kentucky, California, Ohio, and Florida. There is not one of the places I would recommend 100%. Everyplace has its problems. Some are worse than others. In those places, some of the people are by far worse than in other places. People were more accepting to your face in California, and a far cry different when they were in the voting booth, and probably at their home too. In Florida, some places and some people are just plain rude about their prejudice and bigotry, and they will voice their opinion out loud. I have had to do the same back and shame them for their evilness and over zealousness about their religion. That does shut them up, to call them on the carpet for their overt discrimination. I had to tell them to go home a pray over their ill-begotten ideas and nasty religion. I also tell them ONE CANNOT PRAY AWAY THE GAY. So, we are queer; we are here. They need to get over it, NOW.
What moat people on here do not understand, including Mr. Corvino, is that a small minority (say what, an out 10% is out best estimate, fully 5% is more likely) can never fight the BIG money that comes from our foes. We cannot also allow our community to be run over by the “tyranny of the majority”. We cannot convince those who disbelieve in our cause otherwise, and particularly the “anti-same-sex marriage” religious sheep who give up their ability to think to their leaders. It just won’t happen. All you bloggers and commentators and opinionator, FACE THE TRUTH, please.
We have only one recourse. LAWSUITS! Thousands and thousands of lawsuits at the Federal level! We must MAKE the US Supreme Court hear our plea, know that we are a “suspect group”, and understand that we deserve our constitutionally-granted civil rights. It is a matter of secular contract to be able to marry, and it is a matter of equality of taxation under the law. If I must pay extra because I cannot marry my partner of choice, they will have to give up their “special right” to lower taxes as well. It is costing us thousands of dollars yearly (per same-sex couple that is) to be on an unequal footing. We are denied over 1000 “secular legal benefits” by the government — denying us our right to choose the partner of our own selection.
Many of our opponents have chosen their religion. But all religions do not discriminate against same-sex relationships. So their “chosen anti-same-sex marriage moral position” is not law, and never will be in this country. They do NOT have a superior moral standing because of their religion. If they want their right to freedom of religion, then they MUST give me mine or they MUST GIVE UP THEIRS as well.
You see, they want it all strictly for themselves, and want to deny us our legal granted rights.
We cannot:
(1) Get them to change by being nice to them (what happened in the voting booth already proved that),
(2) Or by trying to educate the “un-educatable” opponents (remember they already gave up their ability to think),
(3) Or simply “out waiting” those who would deny us our due (young voters turn into old prejudiced voters — look at the baby boom for that truth).
NO! We must fight back now, or it will never happen. Our window of opportunity is NOW; else it might just close soon and never be opened again.<=== Said with fist held high in the air!
Let “HORTON HEAR A WHO”, please! Who, you ask? US, and NOW! Or just shut the hell up and live in shame and discrimination forever. Those are your only choices, plain and simple.
Clint, you haven’t spent any significant amount of time here in the Great Flyover, have you? Not in scenic Detroit or Cleveland, the binary vortices which may be imploding economically, but where being gay is more tolerable than other parts of our respective states? It SUCKS in Michigan and it SUCKS in Ohio, and we’re not as functionally gay-hostile as Tennessee (where I grew up), or Arkansas, or Nebraska. Here in the Flyover, we know we should probably be grateful for not having our houses burned, our tires slashed, and our mortgages called in just because some asshole at the local bank thinks that’s a fun way to spend a Tuesday afternoon. You think this is exaggeration? You want a taste of the Flyover, you can go to such lovely places as Bakersfield or Redding, and not many gay Californians really wanna spend much time in either one. Most gay Californians who can leave those places do, and the ones who aren’t there avoid them.
Clint, your words show that you don’t understand how bad it is outside the Cali-bubble. I don’t think Corvino was telling anybody to be grateful for being denied your rights; I think he was VERY rightly trying to remind those of you in the “Safe Zones” that we in the Flyover don’t have a fraction of what you do, and that we won’t win this fight until those in the bubble have some appreciation for life outside it. C’mon dude, is that really so much to ask?
Forgive me for straying off the reservation here, but I think this column was actually a masterpiece of balance. Nowhere did he attack California or Californians; nowhere did he deny that Prop 8 sucks; nowhere did he suggest complacency or surrender. Indeed, he specifically conceded that Californians are dead right to be insulted by their second-class status, even as others, who haven’t yet achieved even that much, yearn for it. These ideas are not mutually inconsistent.
I took this column as just a reminder to keep perspective, so that we don’t get TOO demoralized mid-stream in what we know will be an ongoing fight. This isn’t conciliatory, and we shouldn’t take it as such. It would be a real tragedy if we let internal disagreements over points of rhetoric drive us to waste our energy and anger fighting each other, instead of the real opponents… fundie douchebags NATIONWIDE.
Trace,
I genuflect before you. Clearly, you’re from the Real America where people are pro-American as Sarah Palin said. Doubtless you’re a hard working American, a white American, as Hillary Clinton said.
Now, have I pandered to your regional narcissism enough?
drewski: I HAVE an appreciation for what discrimination, homophobia, hate and inequality bring. That’s why I fight against these things. What precisely am I being asked to do? Accept some inequality, hoping it won’t get as bad as it is in other places? Should I not fight it everywhere it shows its ugly head, so that it doesn’t get worse, or much worse, or the very worst?! Doesn’t that make sense? Just because it’s not as bad as it could possiby be, does that make it right? I am on your side. To repeat: I don’t want your house to be burned down because you’re gay, or for anything bad to happen to you because you are gay. That’s why I fight bigotry and inequality and discrimination and homophobia.
No Frank. You have been condescending. That is something that you will likely not find from a majority of folk in the “flyover” states.
You’re a Californian I suspect?
“Some of you might think that I shouldn’t joke about a serious civil rights event. If you are one of those people, have a Bloody Mary and get over yourself.”
I can’t believe you would just belittle fellow gay people like that who may have had (or are having) some very hard lives or very bad experiences in their lives which would make such matters as this important to them that they wouldn’t find it as something so easy to joke about or take lightly. Maybe you should get over yourself?
What makes him think that we in California are not aware of (and/or don’t care about) the election results in Florida, Arizona and Arkansas?
The difference is that in those states, they did not have an existing right removed. Our Supreme Court ruled that marriage for us is a civil right; then we had that removed by a vote. Yes, we still have domestic partnerships, but separate is not equal.
We are all involved in a civil rights movement. It will take time to get where we want to be, but we will get there. For those who get bored quickly or are more concerned with cocktails, these are your rights, too. We all need to fight together and be united no matter how long it takes.
I’m from the delta of the Mississippi river. The town I grew up in had fewer
than 100 people and only one paved road.
I know bullshit and ignorance when I read it.