You’ve become so fixated on winning equality for a small segment of the gay community that you don’t give a damn about the rest of us that don’t live in one of the “ideal” states!

Gays that live in “uncool” states are being told to shut up, send money and accept our near-total lack of rights because only gays in places like California really matter! We’ve become a new gay underclass, devalued because we don’t live in the “right” places and therefore our lack of civil rights isn’t really important.

After all, who cares if a gay man or lesbian in Pennsylvania can be fired from their job for being gay? How can that possibly compare to the indignity the poor gays in California have to endure, having to settle for mere domestic partnerships instead of marriage!

There’s a kind of internal bigotry developing within the gay community, as a consequence of the obsession with marriage equality. Gays that live in states that are not likely to legalize same-sex marriage, and whose states in many cases legally allow discrimination against gays, are being dissed by arrogant marriage activists that only care about gays who live in states that are prospects for marriage. The rest of us are just check-writers. We’re to keep our mouths shut and our demands off the table because we just don’t matter to the national movement because we don’t live in California!

First, in the US all the states manage marriage, unlike in the uk. A patchwork of labels won’t work. Secondly, while the states manage marriage, the feds confer many of the benefits and obligations. Federal laws spell out marriage, not civil union.

That is why here in the US, perhaps uniquely, we need marriage. That is why we need to dump DOMA so that I can be married in the eyes of the IRS, Social Security etc.

Lastly let me give an example. Soon after our marriage I informed all of our service providers to update their files…we are no longer single.

Our lawyer files documents differently…when we sell property he checks the box on the FEDERAL form asking if we are married. His attitude is, well, we are. When applying for a mortgage, we come as a married couple (and since most are in Mass, they accept that). In another state we are two strangers on one note. Here in Mass we are a married couple.

Health insurance. GET THIS: We recently applied for long term care. Since we are married and buying two policies, we get the marriage benefit which allows both people to stop paying premiums if just one starts taking claims against the policy. Insurance law, apparantly, is a state thing. The agent told us we would get this even if we moved, since we would be buying a policy under mass law. Civil Union? no such multi-thousand dollar saving benefit.

The word DOES matter. Working for a different word may seem like a stepping stone, but it is actually a concession. We concede second class status by even considering it.

Our adversaries will not forget that subtlety.

Do you see what has happened to you? You’ve gotten so used to being treated as anything other than a 1st class citizen that you will accept anything less than 1st class treatment, and even worse, spite your brothers and sisters who are fighting for full equality!

I am confident though that the UK will eventually recognize civil partnerships as marriages. All of the rights are contained therein, all that needs to be done is call them marriages. It will get there, make no mistake faster than the U.S. can even dream of.

Ever heard of “steppingstone?” England’s Civil Partnership is nothing but a temporal stage toward full equality. First you set up something to stand on. Then you move forward with time and people on your side. Those Brits are from more pragmatists and cunning than Americans would recognize. Maybe Americans should stop playing zero-sum game. One step (state) at a time.
Tho I do think governments should just make all marriages civil unions or partnerships. This should be our and hetero non-conformists’ ultimate goal.

Meanwhile, in my own state of Pennsylvania, WE DO NOT EVEN HAVE DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIPS!

In fact, let me take it a step further: we are STILL fighting over the fact that we don’t even have a law against anti-gay discrimination in Pennsylvania!

So, if the poor babies in California are suffering from being “second class citizens” I can only respond that in MY state we are FOURTH class citizens!

First Class: Full equality

Second Class: Domestic Partnerships/Civil Unions, anti-discrimination laws

Third Class: No recognition of partnerships, but anti-discrimination laws in place

Fourth Class: No recognition of partnerships and no anti-discrimination laws

You’ll have to forgive me, but I’m finding it rather hard to feel sympathy for a bunch of people who are a LOT better off than me and mine. Especially when they whine about having MORE rights than I do and how it’s not enough!

I am frankly sick to death of the contempt the marriage freaks are showing the rest of us in their single-minded pursuit of possession of a WORD. Especially when so many of us aren’t nearly as well off as they are!

Did you watch/listen to the California Supreme Court hearing a few days ago regarding the validity of Prop. 8?

The court in it’s questioning implied that there was no need to deny Prop. 8 since gay couples had nearly the equivalent rights granted by marriage through domestic partnership – i.e. no need to change it..

“The result is that the general public there is getting less and less anxious about the idea and increasingly the word “marriage” is being used in the media to describe when prominent gays get partnerships.”

I see, so civil rights should be the matter of majority opinion.

Nice one!

Man, I am so sick of people who have become so complacent and used to being disrespected that they expect it and even justify it as if it’s normal and how things should be!

What has happened to people’s passion? The fire has died out in the hearts of so many people, it’s sickening!

Wake up people!