Comments on: Study: Majority of workers hide sexual orientation, gender identity at work

By: ps2os2

ps2os2 — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 05:35:35 +0000

This isn’t exactly news. Ten-fifteen years ago it was the same.
In short nothing has changed except for some limited number places to work. I would guess that a majority of companies still (quietly mind you) put a check mark next to your name and if it ever comes up for promotion you are just bypassed. Yes homophobia is alive and well in corporate America (for the most part).

I was on a Pride float and saw a fellow worker in the crowd. The monday following I sent an email congratulating him on coming to the parade. This was in a private email. He waited until he could talk to me alone and came over and asked that I never mention it again as he was up for a promotion and he even knew about the “secret” policy about no promotions.

I suggested he talk to the HR and he just told me to stay out of it. Well surprise he got the promotion but within a week it was taken away and he quit as he couldn’t take the laughter.

He left and was out of a job for 6 months as the field he was in (about the same as mine) was closed and when he got the interview someone brought the subject up of him being gay. We live in a state where discrimination is not allowed and like wise in the city and county. That does not stop it. The only thing that it does is stop it from it being done publicly.
Privately it is still used as a “stick”.
No wonder that people still find it necessary to hide their sexual orientation.
I ended up leaving the company because of health reasons and I still remember when I turned in my business computer to personnel that my boss came down to deride me for being gay.

By: jessieka

jessieka — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:56:04 +0000

With gay marriage as the excuse prejudice has come to the front.gay bashing phisicly & verbaly is on the rise.Condoned by law makers & “religouse” leader’s alike.
In almost all areas in oregon outside portland it is a law that you can fire & evict solely based on person being lgbt!
Even in portland been attacked phisicly for holding a womans hand.I have no chioce I must do what so many have to live in the shadows!

By: Nathan Ryan Smith

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:29:24 +0000

I didn’t come out for the sake of making it known. I have however become friends with 90 percent of the people I work with and most of them know because it’s come up in a conversation and I simply had to point out that as opposed to what they may believe I’m not heterosexual. Regardless if someone wants to be out just for the sake of being out… not all of us can pass as being straight. There are those of us that have an effeminate nature and are judged/punished for it. That’s the issue… not the right of someone to just be able to walk in and say “I love D***”

By: al

al — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 13:53:09 +0000

Given that most of my economic positions are thoroughly right wing and socially too I am not in favor of ENDA and hate crimes legislation which I feel are a violation of property rights most gays in the office have designated me as a self hating gay whereas Republicans also have a hard time believing that I am gay given my political positions.
Of course my boyfriend is the polar opposite. Hes a liberal of the most extreme kind: He works in hollywood as an ad producer whereas I work in corporate finance and am an out and out Republican. Opposites do attract LOL.

By: robertocucina

robertocucina — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 09:28:17 +0000

Michael….like others who’ve posted here, its not a question of publicizing one’s sexual orientation. Have you never been asked by a co-worker if and who you are dating, if you are married, if you have children? Over the years, I’ve had to put up with that while listening to straights discuss their personal lives, conquests and other irrelevant office chat. Oh and yes, once in a while I’d hear a joke about gays, the usual derogatory kind. So you think straights don’t publicize their sexual orientation when they discuss who they’re dating, sleeping with, how many times they’re having sex or who they’re cheating with? When straight males find out you’re not interested in baseball or football, you’d be surprised how some back away from you, then the jokes and innuendo start spreading that their colleague is a “fag” and in some cases ostracized or ignored. Why should we have to put up with that and be expected to suffer in an oppressive work environment and say nothing while the straights get a free pass on just about everything in and outside the workplace?

By: Brianna Harris

Brianna Harris — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 05:43:17 +0000

As a transwoman I don’t even bother looking at HRC ratings anymore. Last time I looked there were many companies on the list receiving 100% ratings when they didn’t even have a non-discrimination policy that includes gender identity/ expression letalone inclusive insurance policy and other more important coverages/ protections. I hope this has changed, but I doubt it and I agree with Deldude that if there is no adherance to the policies in place they don’t belong on the list either.

By: Tom Greenwalt

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 03:59:41 +0000

I’ve gotten more negative responses coming out as an atheist than coming out as gay.

By: djneedle83

djneedle83 — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 03:18:50 +0000

I work at a pretty major professional business company in Connecticut that is quite socially moderate. However, when you’re as a 20 something gay male who is friendly, approachable, very good looking, and naturally comes off as a straight guy everybody asks you about your dating life.

I’ve only been at this company for less then a year and I’ve had a handful of guys ask me who I was fucking, (older) managers ask me if I had kids, and a female co-worker pursue me until I told her that I was gay. My personality prevents me from hiding my sexuality because I’m an open person at heart. However, there are people at my job who are those on the fence in the closet people who never (ever) talking about their personal lives even if you asked them about to their faces.

The results of being openly gay at work
1) You have many female friends who are very accepting of your sexuality
2) Many Straight guys who talk to you less(less tolerance) after they find out you have a bf you are fucking.
3.)Black males are not fans of the gays
4.) You’re openly gay coworkers (very few of them like less then 1.5% of the place look up to you very much

Most important
5. Who gives a F*** if anyone talks to me less because I’m gay. I’ve experienced this numerous times.

By: Tom in Long Beach

Tom in Long Beach — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 02:40:50 +0000

Thank Goodness that I work in Ca and Long Beach. I work on a ship called the QUEEN MARY. How could I not be out at work? I realize that I am lucky.
But then being out in the hotel biz has always been easy. I am 100 % out to coworkers but cautious with the guest so I do feel a little of the isolation sometimes.
I agree with most comments on normal conversation. How hard it would be not to talk about my spouse or our adopted son.

Tom in Long Beach

By: bobco85

bobco85 — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 02:09:08 +0000

I didn’t initially come out to my co-workers, but after a few weeks I did spill the beans. I mostly told those that I had normal conversation with, and only revealed it to others in the rare event that it was relevant. Heh, word spreads fast in an office!

At first I was really worried about people finding out, but afterwards everything seemed to be fine. If asked what I did over the weekend, I’ll say (and I do tell them) that I went to a gay bar. People will react to how you feel about these things (if you’re uncomfortable talking about it, then they’ll feel uncomfortable too!).

The lesson I learned from this is: it’s mostly just in your head. It will make you a better, more productive, more valuable employee to be honest with those around you. You have to make sure that everyone knows you for who you truly are, and your sexuality in all reality is just a small part of that.