Papa Joe,, the bartender at said fine establishment would keep us all completely gone. I would pre-game at this fine location, show up at the Bourbon Pub or the Corner Pocket(aka the Poakay) or even visit one of those little pieces of heaven known as the houses or bathing. At said establishment I would enjoy the company of distinguished gentlemen and gentleboys and some less gentle than others. Then after a night of complete debauchery,, I would drink until 5am and catch the bus back to campus and sleep like an innocent, pure and pristine baby child.

During the high holidays known as Mardi Gras and Southern Decadence, I would go missing for a week or two. I would party and sometimes crash at friends places in the Quarter, if and when I made it back to the Lakefront campus, I would sleep for 6 or 7 hours and go back out partying even more. I would do both the respectable “family” thing and watch parades on St Charles with co-workers,, I would even take day trips into Acadiana and ride jetskis in the bayou watching the parades in Lafourche Parish. But as a rule,, the week of Mardi Gras, baring an act of God, I was not in class or at work.

Southern Decadence was even worse, I would request off months in advance. I would work doubles two weeks before,, so I can have spending money.

Outside of those two major holidays I wouldn’t party too much in New Orleans. I would hang out in coffeeshops in Lakeview or maybe hang out with friends at Cafe Degas being all pretentious and bougie. But New Orleans is a VERY VERY conservative city with a libertarian streak that runs along from Canal Street to Esplanade known as Bourbon street. Too many tourists believe that the Quarter is New Orleans and nothing could be further from the truth. New Orleans is NOT gay friendly, far far far from it. New Orleans voted overwhelmingly for the anti-marriage equality amendment. During Southern Decadence, all sorts of businesses will grab their rainbow flags and waive them, for all of a week. Then they’ll put them away for the rest of the year, this is why those flags look so nice. Gay businesses struggle in New Orleans all year round, and many struggle during Decadence because of all the conservative businesses which treat gays like sh*t all year round are cutting into gay tourist dollars. You might like New Orleans and it might not be anti-gay in your eyes, but you haven’t lived there, you haven’t spent time enough to see how someone will act around gay tourists with money, but then fire someone for being gay.

For instance, I had a friend in my Hebrew class named Bond,, yes Bond. She was a lesbotarian who attended UNO with me, and she and her lover had been together for 5 years. Both were students at UNO and she had a daughter with whom she shared dual custody. Her baby’s daddy was a nice guy, straight but queer friendly biker dude. Bond was an artist and sold alot of her stuff in New Orleans when she and her lover lived in the Bay area in California. As an artist, she thought New Orleans would be awesome. She had visited for years and loved it. She moved to New Orleans assuming that her experience as a tourist/part time resident would be the same as living there. She and her lover quickly found out differently.

They were both staying in married student housing. They gave them grief, because they were gay. But since they had a minor with them, AND they were both students the school left them have married housing. Straight couples with only one student would get it in a heart beat, yet gay couples had to fight for this, even though the school supposedly bans discrimination and New Orleans, at that time, had a domestic partnership registry. Anyway,, for about a year and a few months, both Bond and her lover lived in married student housing. They both worked on campus, both did well in school, had their daughter enrolled in day care on campus. Bond sold her art in New Orleans and things seemed good. Then Hurricane Ivan came, while people were evacuated, the state of Louisiana voted overwhelmingly to ban marriage equality and “any legal incidents thereof”. The school, because they were legally bound to do so, had to evict these two ladies from married student housing. A lawsuit against the school was not possible, because since the school was public, they were bound to follow the state constitution, as is customary under civil law. Bond and her lover(whose name eludes me) and their daughter, decided that enough was enough. They ended up leaving New Orleans and moved. They were looking at schools in British Columbia, Ontario and Massachusetts. Bond left saying, that she had always loved New Orleans, but the corruption, the reactionary conservatism and the extremes in what New Orleans sells itself as and what it really is were too much.

Bond was a hyperpolyglot like me,, her mom was Acadian from New Brunswick and her dad was a Jewish cowboy from Kansas. She and I took Hebrew, Russian and Arabic together. When the school lost her, they lost her scholarship which paid her out of state tuition.

New Orleans is a culture shock to most people,, but what is even more culturally shocking is the differences in the REAL New Orleans and that experienced by visitors. There are even part time residents, who live in New Orleans in time shares for 3 or 4 months, who rarely leave their neighborhoods(ie Quarter, Bywater, Marigny or Uptown) and likewise don’t know much about the REAL New Orleans.

There’s an old adage about New Orleans,, “I always loved visiting, but I’d never want to live there” and there’s a reason why people say this.

I’m sure you and I could trade some great stories. One of the things that never fails to amaze me are the guys that will lay in the troughs at Rawhide and want the masses to pee on them. Oh the revelry of Decadence.

I’ve been to New Orleans many, many time and have been to all the gay bars. I’ve partied at Oz and Parade until way past dawn and kicked back and had more than a few cigars at Phoenix.

Say what ya will, New Orleans is a beautiful city. I’ve never had an issue with anti gay issues there.

For instance, I was on a bus from Montreal to Nashville and there was this lesbotarian couple from Plattsburg New York who got on, who were going to Austin, Texas. While on the bus, they were affectionate, not too badly but when you get out of the Northeastern blue state area, people don’t want to see lesbians making out on a bus. These girls didn’t seem to understand that people don’t like PDA’s from anyone, but when you add PDA with homophobia you get violent reaction. These girls should remember that a bus is not their own car, nor is it their own living room. The PDA should be kept to a tasteful minimum by everyone, but especially gays and lesbians. Why? Because it can be a question of life or death and when you engage in PDA you are infringing on someone else’s comfort zone. Even people who support gay equality(real equality) don’t like having two lesbotarians or two gay men making out in front of them.

NOW, Back to Vegas and New Orleans. This bar in Vegas was an adult establishment, the “moral violations” were more than likely backroom action, which is semi-private. During Southern Decadence the city of New Orleans tolerates nudity, sex, strippers and hundreds of thousands of gay men because we spend 75% more than Carnival. In less than 1 week during decadence, a few hundred thousand gay men spend more than all of the carnival season combined. Carnival lasts from the feast of three kings to Ash Wednesday. That is a LARGE sum of money. This is why,, in the quarter the NOPD doesn’t give a shit if guys show their c*cks or even suck one in public. During Mardi Gras, if a straight man, in the straight area of Bourbon street were to show his cock, the NOPD plain clothes officers would tackle him and arrest him for public indecency. Strippers are officially illegal in New Orleans, both straight and gay, but during Decadence they tolerate gay bars and the sex going on. Yet after decadence, New Orleans reverts back into a conservative city and all the rainbow flags at the art galleries on Rue Royale come down.

The bar in Vegas being raided and shut down for “moral violations” smacks of selective enforcement and homophobia. Las Vegas is for lack of a better way to put it a void of morality. With all the vice they tolerate in the open, it shocks me that some backroom action would illicit such a response. They allow strippers and lap dances at the straight places run by unrepentant gangsters and other low life scum, but if gay people want some action in a backroom?? The hypocrisy is overwhelming.

Trace, perhaps you should show some pictures of your artistic rendering of your penis at the corner of St Ann and Bourbon. Oz is overrated and filled with not so nice boys,, Bourbon Pub is far nicer. You should also visit Cafe Lafitte in Exile and the Corner Pocket.

I have stories about the Corner Pocket which would make a porn star blush.

There are honestly few places around the country that I was not comfortable enough to hold my ex’s hand or give him a kiss.

Mind you, if I’m dating a guy, I will not be restrained by any “good taste” rules that heterosexuals are not subjected to.

Mind you, there is a big difference than “making out” and giving a kiss.

The city of Las Vegas sells vice(gambling, prostitution, alcohol and hedonism). Yet despite all this vice, somehow back room action is a moral violation. Give me a motherf*cking break.

“but deeper down, whether gay relationships and couples are respected and allowed to walk hand-in-hand unmolested by haters,”

I agree one hundred percent Morgan. I don’t judge a city by the number of gay bars, per se, but the number of gay churches(even though I am not Christian).

“I want to see mild man-to man affection in public like these are living and breathing humans and not automatons, but please keep the zipper up.”

This is where I disagree 100%. I personally hate all forms of PDA, and I emphasize “public”. I think intimacy is supposed to be intimate and at the bare minimum semi-private. As far as men’s zippers, I would venture to say that whatever zipper opening was at a very least in a backroom. PDA, kissing, excessive hugging in a public place by straights, gays and lesbians often borders on sexual harassment and is more of a form of exhibitionism then true intimacy. PDA’s, even straight ones, often create a situation where people can and will turn violent. There’s nothing I hate more then being on a bus or metro, with some, usually straight couple, making out as if it’s their own living room.

“I only go to restaurants in DC where the guys can openly express much love and affection for each other with a beautiful kiss and a nice hug but can’t get flagrantly sexual.”

A restaurant is a public place, where people are working and eating. What you might deem a “beautiful kiss” is sexual harassment for another. I have to admit, that I get less offended by gay couples, then I do from straight and lesbian couples who engage in PDA. However, public places such as restaurants are not the place for PDA no more than someone sucking someone’s c*ck at the table. The first group to learn this is straights, because they seem to feel a sense of entitlement to shove their intimacy down everyone’s throats.

“Some guys on top of Parade or Oz were wanting me to have some beads. So, I pulled out the goods and collected my beads. I turn right around and a female cop was standing there. I look right at her and say, “Oh No!” She smiles at me and says, “Hey, it’s gay Mardi Gras.””

Well,, the NOPD is notorious for what they tolerate from tourists. Given that Southern Decadence has less than 1/10th the people of Mardi Gras and brings in 75% the money, during Hurricane Season, the city of New Orleans will roll out the red carpet and anti-gay businesses will have rainbow flags waiving. But as soon as y’all are gone, the typical homophobic bullsh*t comes back in force. Don’t forget that Louisiana’s anti-marriage equality amendment is the most hideously draconian in the nation. It not only bans marriage equality, civil unions, domestic partnerships but “any legal incidents thereof” which can and does include the right to contract, living will, insurance, etc. After Hurricane Katrina, I evacuated to Boston, then moved to Montreal. In New Orleans the gay community revolves around sex, bars, hedonism yet anyone wanting(emphasizing the word wanting) to form a stable relationship, be married or adopt a child is ostracized not only by straight society, but by hedonistic gay society. In Boston, in the wake of progressive social change, gay hedonism is actually on the decline there are no bathhouses, bars close at sundown or shortly thereafter, there is no sex, no drinking or revelry, Boston is damn near as dry as Saudi Arabia. Yet in Boston, gay couples can marry, can adopt and we’re equal citizens, yet in a boring town. After two extremes, New Orleans and Boston, I decided to move to Montreal, first to study abroad, then to stay. In Montreal, gays and lesbians are safe to walk hand in hand, yet only American tourists engage in PDAs. Quebecois men are much more low key, and Quebec is a very integrated society. English Canadians, gay immigrants and Americans are the ones who keep the village alive. I once saw this adorable young emo couple on the ligne orange going towards Henri Bourassa , when the train arrived, they had a brief and tasteful kiss and one of them got on the train and the other one left. Outside of this tasteful and brief PDA, you wont see many gay men engaging in PDA, because even if they are franco, they realize it’s kinda tacky.

Yadda yadda.

If such activities were going on in this bar:
1) It probably did not shock or offend any of the regular patrons.
2) It was nothing that anyone that has been to a variety of bars has not seen in the past.

It reminds me of an incident that I had at Decadence one year. I was at the corner of Bourbon and St. Ann. Some guys on top of Parade or Oz were wanting me to have some beads. So, I pulled out the goods and collected my beads. I turn right around and a female cop was standing there. I look right at her and say, “Oh No!” She smiles at me and says, “Hey, it’s gay Mardi Gras.” And you know what? She was right. No one was harmed. It was not an under-age environment and it was all in good fun. New Orleans police certainly got my instant respect at that point.