Comments on: New HIV infections increasing among international, US gays

By: Gerry Fisher

Gerry Fisher — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 22:06:44 +0000

Let me give you an example: I was talking with a young man online, and he was seriously thinking about having only bareback sex without regard to status…his or anyone else’s status. I said, “How about finding someone to settle down with, and then barebacking only with him?” He responded, “Oh…I guess I could do that!”

I’m not naive enough to think that he’d never thought of that option. But his reaction, I think, speaks to how infrequent people approach the topic this way: “Your desire for wild bareback sex is natural…no shame in it. Let’s just find ways for you to balance feeding those urges with taking care of your health.” I haven’t seen HIV prevention education that doesn’t ignore or slam barebacking…so, by definition, it fails to speak to how many gay men are feeling and behaving in the 00′s and 10′s, IMO.

By: Gerry Fisher

Gerry Fisher — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:59:32 +0000

…and, Morgan, if you find that special man and live in monogamy because that feels good and right and beautiful to you, then I will applaud your efforts and wish you well forever. It’s a valid and good choice, IMO.

But if you do it primarily out of fear…I’d rethink your approach.

“Monogamy OR HIV infection” is an overly dramatic, false dichotomy. “No barebacking or HIV infection” is a false dichotomy, though it’s trickier to navigate that one, but it can be done.

By: Gerry Fisher

Gerry Fisher — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:55:18 +0000

>Sidibe said it is “shocking” that more than 50 percent of new HIV infections last year occurred among homosexuals. And he said in the 19-25 age bracket the infection rate was even higher.

It’s only shocking for someone who hasn’t spent any time in our community.

I haven’t seen an emotionally visceral, timely change to HIV prevention materials since the mid nineties (“HIV stops with me”). In fact, before I left Boston, I still saw “HIV stops with me” posters more than ten years after I first saw them.

AIDS prevention experts need to address the barebacking phenomenon in a way that doesn’t stigmatize the desire for that kind of sex while still urging gay men to take care of their health. I know it’s not easy to balance those two things, but this “Don’t bareback! Ever!!!” tone to most of their education is horribly dated and ineffective. It doesn’t communicate effectively anymore.

By: Morgan

Morgan — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 16:59:30 +0000

That’s it. I am going only with people I’ve known for a while and I will choose the man I feel closest to and we will live in a mutually committed relationship.

By: Jake

Jake — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 00:24:24 +0000

Nice coverage. Also worthwhile to note that the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission, based in NYC, is honoring Michel Sidibe this week in its annual celebrations in NYC and San Francisco. He spoke last night at the NYC event, as was quite compelling.