Marriage equality is very important for our LGBT couples both young and old to support each other at many different levels whether they would raising kids, and there are questions raised about relationship two same-sex parents have to a child complicating its care or in the hospital, at the doctor’s office, etc Marriage equality or lack of it “boomerangs” into many, many areas of a couple’s life right down to saying this house and this land belongs to this gay couple and does not belong to a birth family ravenous to snatch it all away from the survivor in a same-sex relationship where one partner dies. How about the young MD same-sex male couple in which one man became ill and died and he buried his mate where the man wanted to be put on his death all the while the man’s birth family insisted on relocating his mate to WHERE THEY WANTED HIM TO GO and for years this heart-wrenching and financially exhausting legal battle to keep his crazy parents at bay…Here in Maryland we’ve have many horrible and tragic stories stories about the results of marriage inequality
that I can tell more of. Of one Maryland male couple one of whom is a male nurse who flies around in a helicopter to save people’s lives and something that is potentially dangerous. He says that if he dies, you might as well take a chainsaw to everything and cut it in half as the family will swoop in and get it and his partner will out of luck.

There was a man who took his critically ill partner to a hospital and the hospital would not allow him to see his partner again as his partner was “not family” to him. He had to place a frantic call to his partner’s family who instructed the hospital to allow him to visit his partner. It was too late. The man’s eye were taped shut by the time he was allowed in to see him.

One MD man had to beg and plead and negotiate with his partner’s father for the right to bury his own partner.

One woman was asked who are to her in her partner’s hospital room. Her partner was going to soon give birth to a baby and the nurse told her point-blank to leave the room or her partner would not get a procedure she needed. Another time in the same couple, one the women was going to care for care for their child and to bond with the child while her partner was at work. She could not even take the child to the doctor’s oiffice for a simple vaccination as SHE WAS NOT THE BIOLOGICAL MOTHER of this child. Everything this couple planned for had to go out the window. When a partner died here in Maryland, his or her partner might have to sell the property left to just to pay taxes a straight married couple leaving it to a surviving spouse would not to pay. I can’t remember if this MD law has changed regarding taxation on property left to a surviving same-sex partner. But a few good changes have to MD since Democrat Gov O’Malley replaced GOP Governor Ehrlich under whose anti-GLBT watch just about nothing was possible for the MD LGBT community.

I reject the idea that marriage is a fun little nicety. There are enough cases just here in Maryland alone to prove that notion false. Marriage rights profoundly impact many things of a legal and medical nature for a same-sex couple here in our state and EQMD is diligently lobbying and educating our legislature, taking on our issue through the courts and addressing the media and holding yearly MD marriage rallies after which legislators are visited to highlight the needs of MD’s GLBT community.

I am proud to be a member of EQMD and to support it with my arts and crafts donated to its silent auctions and with my time and money.

Laws in the six states legalizing same-sex marriage do allow homophobic Christians to opt out if they want to, so I’m not sure who “we” refers to. We have the First Amendment; Christians are free to hate anyone they like. Getting that enshrined in civil law is another matter.

In that context, it doesn’t matter what gains LGBT groups make in aspects such as insurance benefits and discrimination in hiring. As long as this basic devaluation of gays is enshrined in law, these gains can and will be challenged on the basis of civil rights protections not being appropriate for application to “the gay lifestyle” or even, God/dess help us “same-sex attraction.” IMO these groups are whistling past the graveyard, hoping that if they just whistle musically enough, no ghoul is going to make an appearance. Anti-gay groups and their enablers, including those in the White House, are never, never, never going to change if gays are just nice and accommodating enough. Doesn’t matter how long or how loudly they whistle.

Sadly, this article makes me wonder how many voters for Proposition 8 would self-identify as “gay activists.”

Ohio has a nondiscrimination bill in the legislature now. In today’s Plain Dealer, the Ohio Christian Alliance is quoted as opposing the bill because they say gay is a choice that shouldn’t be legally protected. This is an article in one of the largest papers in the US–you might think they’d have a slightly higher journalistic standard than quoting the Wingnut Brigade. In fact, they seemed to angle for a quote from the Wingnuts even more than they wanted a quote from the Speaker of the GOP-controlled Senate. The bill looks likely to pass the House, but there’s a good chance it’ll fail in the Senate because even mainstream media give credence to the Christian Right. Gays haven’t been especially good at questioning that poor journalistic practice.

Would it be better to focus on marriage in Ohio? Ohio has so many antigay laws, on paper it’s worse than almost every state in the Deep South. Reality isn’t quite that bad, and Ohio is an “at-will” state (a step above right to work), but we need to push on all fronts. No way marriage will come to Ohio without DOMA repeal, but something that a lot of people don’t understand is that country folk can shift their views pretty radically when something brings harm to their own. Get rid of DADT and yes, you will see more acceptance of gays, especially in rural Ohio, in rural parts of most other states too. In states like Ohio, marriage is only a glimmer, but we’re far more likely to make progress if at least we’re not fighting at both federal and state level. Removing the federal obstacles would be a direct benefit (see above re: DADT), and it would allow us in Ohio to make progress in all areas, whether it’s marriage or other civil rights issues. This is a Gordian knot, and all the struggles combine with local factors in different ways in each state, in parts of each state too. Sometimes national organizations seem to not fully appreciate that fact.

It’s a matter of tax liability, not approval.