Comments on: Ga. man fights gay restriction in child visitation ruling

By: drewski

drewski — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 05:52:20 +0000

Same kind of order was handed down by a judge in Williamson County TN a few years ago. Father was sentenced to jail for allowing his boyfriend to be in presence of the kids. I’m inclined to put this down to the mother trying to get a dig in on the father. The order may have come from the judge, but it would be no act of mind-reading to anticipate such a gesture by a judge. Instead of acting to protect her children from an adult conflict, the mother seems to have indicated that she’s more interested in using the courts to mess with her ex. It was the mother arguing from a position of strength, and she showed her true colors by not using her power to work out terms with her ex-husband. The parent who undermines their ex is the parent who should think twice about how the kids will turn out. Maybe they’ll be forgiving–but maybe they’ll do unto one or both parents as the self-centered parent did to them.

As for the judge, I’d be surprised to see such a gesture in Fulton or DeKalb counties, but in the rest of Georgia I’d expect it. I wasn’t surprised when I read of it in Williamson TN, but I would be surprised in Davidson (Nashville), immediately to the north. City judges usually don’t waste court time or resources with this kind of moralistic micromanagement.

By: Joe

Joe — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 05:04:23 +0000

Restricting who someone can be friends with seems a violation of the 14th Amendment, but, then again, in the U.S., gay people have no constitutional protections.

By: Ed Gould

Ed Gould — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 23:46:24 +0000

The judges statement should be enough for any reasonable court to nullify any finding(s). I am not going to get into the gay/het issue as it was clearly part of the judges prejudice.
Following their logic if playgirl (or playboy) was found in the wife’s home the issue would not have been raised. EVEN *IF* the wife was found to a lesbian and the straight father would not have dared to raise this issue. It is pure gay prejudice that is fueling this.

By: Steve

Steve — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 07:21:12 +0000

One sometimes wonders if the Court has ever heard of the First Amendment.

Freedom of Association, and Freedom of Assembly, are foundational rights under our Constitution.

By: TJNV

TJNV — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 01:08:53 +0000

I hope this guy gets this restriction lifted. This is so stupid and homophobic. Anyway it really makes me glad that somehow by the grace of God I had the wisdom to not try and change myself by getting married to a woman. Somehow I knew it would not be fair to her or especially to the kids. Today I have a really great husband of 14 years and we adopted a son 9 years ago. So I have had love and the experiance of being a parent. My teenager is a real handful but I love my family.

Tom in Long Beach

By: Alex H

Alex H — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 01:05:35 +0000

This ruling over stepped the boundaries by including “gay friends.” Otherwise it would have been fair, since both parents were instructed not to have “lovers” around the children.

I really think that the emotional distress, allegedly suffered because of their father’s sexual orientation, is over-the-top posturing. Most kids old enough to understand sexuality don’t want think about their parent’s sex life; and those who are interested, are too young to know what it is they’re interested in.

By: Ron in SF

Ron in SF — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 22:30:41 +0000

It saddens me to see how many judges are still ignorant regarding the facts about homosexuality and make rulings based on stereotypical prejudices. I see two basic misconceptions here which have influenced the judges ruling. 1) That all homosexual men are child molesters and predators and therefore should be distanced from the visiting children. 2) The Gay Vampire Theory, wherein the gay person seduces another person and then automatically becomes gay themselves and then goes on to seduce others who also become gay. The child finding dad’s porn was a stupid oversight on his part, but would a judge have taken that fact into account if a child had discovered his straight dad’s porn? I think not. I would love to see Judges go through some kind of sensitivity training and education training by psychiatrists. They need to throw out all this medieval believes about homosexuality.

By: Mike

Mike — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 21:54:44 +0000

Been there done that. I was divorced 13 years ago. In the state of MS, divorcing because of being gay is considered “Cruel and inhumane treatment.” If not for my ex-wife eventually backing down, I would have been in for the same type of treatment by the courts. The key for any dad going through this is “love”. Love them, love them some more and never stop telling them that you love them. Today, I have great relationships with both sons and my grandchildren and the gay issue never arises. They love my partner as if he was the only person in their lives. I agree with him for fighting for his rights, and my kids over the years have met some wonderful friends of mine, opening their own eyes to the rest of the world not so bigoted as most of Mississippi.

By: Nicky

Nicky — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 21:14:20 +0000

OMG.. I am so grateful that is something that I don’t have to go thru with my ex wife. I had the experience of one of my children finding something on my computer that they shouldn’t have seen and all my ex-wife did was ask to be a little more discreet with them. My kids have been around gay people all their lives and although they have not been “officially” told, they know… and yet not one of them has expressed interest in the same sex, so my money is better spent other than therapy

By: Morgan

Morgan — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 21:06:35 +0000

It’s all because the wife claims that the children are harmed by her husnand’s (and thus the kid’s father’s homosexuality).

This why straight marriage is useless to most gay men, so much blame etc from a clearly homophobic wife who is putting her own spin (via the mouth of her lawyers who are it seems doing some of the speaking for her)on why the kids are being counseled.

The kids are simply in turmoil over this divorce + all the nonsense spouted by there mother. Who is clearly creating a hostile and adversarial environment to keep her gay husbdand at bay.

Yes the kids are being well taught prejudice by the mother, putting the kids through turmoil and stress sufficient to cause the family to fall apart and not be a family anymore.

Anyone who lives with such a hostile and toxic mother would one day need couseling TO DEAL WITH THE TRAUMA CAUSED BY HER.

Looks irretrievable to me, if Dad can’t be the gay man he was meant to be, can’t date a lovely man, get on with his life, he may have either forget about his kids, or else pusue legal ramedies as far as he can to force visitation while he leads a normal life with his “real family” made up of those friends support him the most.

It ALL goes back once again as to why gay men and gay women need to IN REAL MARRIAGES WITH EACH OTHER, NOT IN MAKE-BELIEVE MARRIAGES WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT SO OFTEN EVENTUALLY END UP WITH AN UNWANTED OPPOSITE SEX MARRIAGE PARTNER WITH KIDS CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS TURMOIL AND THIS DECEIT.