I’m really sad the teens in Roseville were arrested on suspicion of stealing Yes on 8 yard signs. Roseville is full of bigoted bible thumpers, who’s attitudes are my way or no way. Yesterday evening Yes on 8 supporters set up at both entrances to the Roseville Wal*Mart Supercenter intimidating customers to support the hateful constitutional amendment. If someone disagreed with their position they were verbally harassed in front of other customers entering and exiting the store. The sad part is Wal*Mart management claims they can’t do anything to remove these crazies from their private property.

One good ad may be women wearing berkas with a narrator asking “Do you want to live in a theocracy? Passing prop 8 will embolden religious fanatics to control not just gay marriage but every aspect of your life! End theocracy before it begins vote NO! on prop 8″

I as a gay man am really fed up and would like to address this whole issue of these straight religious fanatics. For one week I wish that everyone would wake to a world where everything is completely reversed where instead of being straight being accepted as what these religious fanatics call “normal”, gay, bisexual, and transgender is accepted as normal, and heterosexuality to be considered not normal by the general public and religious orginizations, for one week. For one week they would see constant attempts by many states to put a ban on “Straight-Marriage” in both the state and federal constitution. For this week, all the straight people who seem to get such a kick over either verbally, or physically bashing straight people to see what it feels like to constantly seeing anti-straight rhetoric (subliminal, or outright) either first hand, or in the newspapers, over the internet, or on billboards. I would like them to see what it feels like to constantly be referred to as “not normal” or worse. After a week of them having to deal with what we deal with every day of our lives, I believe that gay-bashers, both verbally and physically would significantly diminish. I am sure many of them would think twice before putting down gay people and trying to take away their right to marry (Prop 8 and other proposed bans in other states) if that happened to them.

jibii Said: “Yes, let’s scare them all into believing we’re all violent as well as perverts. I’m all for protests, but what good would a riot do, except blow off some of our steam?”

Good idea. They do not fear us now and that allows them to believe we are not capable or willing to fight back. They assume, and rightfully so, that their actions will have no repercussions as we are a weak target and there is no need to open a dialogue with us for that reason. Make them fear us, like the Black Panthers did for MLK’s peace marchers and they will be willing to talk. Let them be on the receiving end of violence for a change instead of us. We have suffered at their hands enough. Unless we are willing to step up our struggle and fight fire with fire, we are in a losing battle. Stupid idea to bring a speech to a gunfight.

Please do anything you can to help defeat this measure. We only get to vote on this once. I am standing on street corners all week with No on 8 signs and have donated more $ than I ever have before to a political campaign.

Don’t you think that the GLBT community should have prioritized early on and sent most of their tens of millions of campaign dollars to the “Stop Prop 8” drive instead of wasting their money on an ungrateful Senator “Marriage is between a Man and Woman” Obama? Barack had plenty of funds. So why did we give our money to someone who supports discrimination? That is like letting your own children go hungry while giving your family’s food away to the fat neighbors who could care less if you starved to death.

By the way, where is that simple ten second “Vote NO on Prop 8!” commercial from Obama? Don’t we get anything back for all our money and for our votes?

Once more, the scared rabbits in the GLBT community are again playing the role of useful fools. The marriage equality battle is a more immediate issue of concern to our community that the political ambitions of a passive/aggressive homophobe. Obama, as well as most of the Democrats, have already said they do not support our equality. I really wonder how many Black people would come out and vote for any candidate who insulted their dignity is such a manner?

But what do you expect. Far too many Gay men in America are still living out their adolescence well into their late twenties, thirties and even into their forties. Living “on the fly” (so to speak) in the sense of being in a state of perpetual arrested emotional development. Let’s face it, most barflies and party boys don’t give a crap about long term consequences.

Like overage teenagers, many males in the GLBT community just live for the thrill of the present and apathetically ignore the future. And by the time they become old enough to care about the same-sex family unit and its place in society, that is, if they’re not too burnt out or too jaded to maintain a relationship, it may be too late for them to significantly affect the political process.

Come on, why is there only ten thousand or so of us married in Massachusetts where it is still safe to marry? Jewish people only represent 3% of the population and I’d bet there are more than ten thousand married Jews in Massachusetts. But what do you expect? When people have a right, like the right to vote at age 18, people are sometimes just not mature enough to value that right. I hope our young people’s current apathy, concerning our civil rights, is just a generational issue that can be resolved and not something endemic in the gay community.

On the other end of the spectrum, the other half (primarily lesbians and more settled gay men) think that some messiah (like Obama or Hillary) is going to swoop down out of the heavens and rescue us from the slathering jaws of the psychotic bible-bigots. The cold hard fact is that any legislative action regarding federally mandating civil equality for the GLBT community ranks far, far below other more immediate issues; like, for example, funding a study of the mating habits of the black-footed ferret or a congressional proclamation commemorating National Artichoke Day.

And yet we still support people for president who tell us to our face that we are not as good as heterosexuals. That is why Proposition 8 will probably pass. It is because most of us are either apathetic hedonists, scared wimps or delusional masochists.

Can you imagine what would happen if there was an amendment like Proposition 8 that took away the rights of heterosexual Black people or Hispanics? The rioting, property damage, and the violence that would ensue would scare the holy crap out of the racists who would rue the day they ever considering such a god-awful thing.

Sadly, the peace-loving nature of the GLBT community is our most virtuous gift to human civilization and, at the same time, it is our weakest trait. We got to realize that we are on our own. Candidate Obama refuses to sacrifice the votes of a few bigots in return for our support; certainly a President Obama will not jeopardize his legislative agenda for our sake as well. No one on Capital Hill in Washington, D.C. will ever (now listen carefully)…no one on Capital Hill will ever stick their necks out for us without major concessions to bigots too. That is because the bigots are their people; we are not.

We need a third party who, with only ten percent of the votes in both houses of Congress, could be a major player in forwarding legislation. A third party could force both of the major parties to take up issues that they now believe they can safely ignore. A third party would be a major power-broker that both parties would have to appeal to in a close vote in Congress. And that gives a small third party huge bargaining power.

There is such a gigantic dung hill which The-Village-Idiot-in-Chief, G. W. Bush has left behind that I cannot see our concerns even being on the political radar for years to come — if ever. Sure ENDA and Hate Crimes might come up for a vote and even pass, but with huge concessions given to bible-bigots which will take the teeth out of any meaningful legislation. DADT is doubtful while we are still involved in conflicts overseas. DOMA is far too politically risky.

So, I think we had better just resolve ourselves to fight our own battles — primarily on the state judicial level in the few “liberal“ states that are left. We must focus all of our efforts on California, Massachusetts, Connecticut and a few others. In the future there might even be a few more free states where we can live. These will be our sanctuary states. If we lose them, if we lose that foothold, then we’ve lost all hope for generations to come.

© Bud Evans, Oct. 2008

Wow, Bud, you seem kinda pessimistic about all this. Are you really so bitter, or are you trying to get some sort of reaction out of people?

I mean, really, “scared rabbits?” Was that necessary? Have we abandoned reason to try and goad people with emotional ploys or shame tactics?

And characterizing Obama as a passive aggressive homophobe? I understand that you may have strong feelings about this, but I think you’ve maybe wandered into the realm of hyperbole there. This is the man who campaigns on a platform of full constitutional and legal equality for gay and straight couples, if not religious equality.

I’m not trying to tell you you’re wrong here, but are you sure you’re not fighting more strongly for the name of marriage than for the rights associated with it? I’m just asking.

And then you continue on to observe the delayed onset of adolescence common in many gay men, which is a documented phenomenon, but to directly connect this to support of one candidate or another just smacks of partisan hyperbole. Yes, many gay men experience a later adolescence. No, this doesn’t necessarily mean that voting Obama is juvenile. There are mature people in support of both parties, just as there are immature people in both parties, Please try not to resort to these kind of tactics in a civil discussion.

Your next point is the one that I think has the least merit of all your points. Marriage is a personal decision that not everyone is, or ever will be, ready for. While I celebrate what marriage rights we have, and would rejoice at full equality, that does not mean I want everyone to rush out and get married. Marriage is already facing enough hardship for it to be cheapened for a political point, and to somehow imply that it’s immaturity that keeps gay men from getting married is just begging for a spate of short and disastrous marriages.

I’m 25, have been with my husband for 7 years, and we got married in San Francisco this past June. We’ve worked hard at our relationship and it is the most rewarding thing in my life and I think everyone should be so lucky, but not everyone is and not everyone wants what I have. Even if one has the right to marry, that doesn’t mean they should, and just because someone doesn’t get married doesn’t mean they don’t value that right.

Please don’t demean our marriage by propping it up as some sort of political ploy.

I wish you luck in creating your sanctuary states, but I’m pretty content giving my votes to people I think will help my cause at every level. I voted Obama because he said that he believes gay couples should have every legal right that straight couples do.

I need those rights. It’s not a theoretical thing for me, I suffer every day the lack of rights that I could be using to make a better life for my family.

You say Obama lies, and if he does then I say we crucify him for it. Until then I’m going to vote for someone who says that my family should have the same legal protections as any other family rather than for the man who thinks that allowing us to enter into contracts like adults is some sort of concession.

Perhaps a third party would be a good thing, but it’s late in the game and I’m hedging my bets. Maybe time will prove you right and then you can laugh, but I’d rather you have a little compassion. I don’t think your insults and jabs are useful, and your generalizations of GLBT people who vote for Obama is just more political trash talk to my ears.

When you can drop the invective and have a civil discussion, then maybe I’ll hear you better.