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Loading ...Appeals court: No parental rights for lesbian mom
04.13.2009 12:07pm EDT
(New York City) A New York State appeals court has ruled that the former partner of a New York City woman has no legal parental rights to a child she helped rear.
The case involved two women, Debra H. and Janice R., who had a civil union in Vermont and then registered their relationship under New York City’s domestic partner law. Their son is now 5.Court documents show that the boy was born to Janice R. a month after the women were united in Vermont. When the relationship soured and the couple split up, Debra H. sued for visitation rights to the child.
“[The child] thinks of Debra as one of his mothers” said Lambda attorney Susan Sommer who represents her.
But Janice R.’s attorney, Sherri Eisenpress, told the court that she informed Debra H. prior to the civil union that she did not want her as a “co-parent” and would not let her adopt the boy.
In its ruling, the appeals court said that under a 1991 ruling by the Court of Appeals – New York State’s highest court – only “biological and adoptive parents” have the right to seek visitation and custody, “even though that party may have developed a long-standing, loving and nurturing relationship with the child.”
Although the 1991 ruling also involved a same-sex couple, the ruling has been applied to married and unmarried opposite-sex couples where one partner is not the birth parent.
In the case of Janice R. and Debra H., the appeals court overturned a lower court ruling that ordered a hearing to determine if Debra H.’s emotional and financial support role with the child was tantamount to being a parent.
Sommer said that the ruling ignored the “best interests of the child,” and that the case would be appealed to the Court of Appeals.
The two women should have discussed this prior to their union in VT and prior to having a child together. People getting into these situations have to know what their legal rights are beforehand. Once they know what they are and are not entitled to, they can them make appropriate decisions and take proper actions in order to protect themselves legally.
This is sad. First that these two women could not have agreed to something without involving the courts. Next if I were going to get civil unioned I would have insisted on adopting the child. But then again at that time everything was rosy.
We co-adopted our son in 2000. Luckily we can do this in Ca. I would not have consented to help raise a child otherwise. Kids and parents really do get bonded. To be honest I am sort of amazed at how bonded one does get.
This woman must be going through major heartache right now.
Tom in Long Beach.
She could have adopted the child in New York. If the birth mother didn’t want her to, then that’s that.
Wow, the NY court system really seems to be dropping the ball these days. These rules just seem stupid in light of how the child might be bonding with other people. I know a heterosexual couple in MA who raised a child from birth as foster parents, and the child was just taken away after 3 years to be returned to biological grandparents that never met her, and that the girl never met. Talk about a traumatic experience, and NOT being in the best interest of the child.
My ex and I had a son together. I was up at night changing diapers, stayed nights at the hospital with him when he was sick …. did all of th things a loving parent would do for 5 years. There was no co-parent adoption at the time. She decided one day that she wasn’t sure if she was gay or straight (after 14 years together) and threw me out. She cut of all visitation. I tried to explain to here that she was hurting our son more than she was hurting me. When will the courts realize that tearing a child away from their parent is the wrong thing to do???
When women go against each other like this it is bad for us as a movement. We have to stop stabbing each other in the back. We MUST not aid men in their fear of a female planet.
Hmmm…can you please explain yourself a wee bit better there Ms.(Mrs) menstruator? Why would any male be afraid of a few old bickering lesbians???
support group for NON BIO MOMS.. you are not alone..
nonbiomom@yahoo.com
Using children as ammunition in a nasty breakup battle isn’t limited to lesbians … straights do it all the time.
The WORST part about it is that gay/lesbian people who engage in these tactics just feed the opposition’s argument that we SHOULDN’T be allowed to have/adopt/foster children.
Bad most of all for the child…and terrible publicity for our movement.
I know women have a drive to reproduce (please don’t bother attacking me, I’m sure many men do too). I know many lesbians with babies.
It is just sad and hurts us all, mostly the child, when it is done rashly and without proper legal protections, up front.
Can’t expect all lgbt’s to be the best citizens when it comes to this, of course, but this type of media coverage will hurt us nonetheless.
So it grazed over them having a conversation before the union that the birth mom did not want to allow the other woman to adopt or even consider herself a parent of this child. If that is the case then she needs a reality check. How could a person in good conscious have another taking care of the mental, developmental,physical and emotional well being of a child and not consider them a parent? My heart pains for this woman. Seeing things like this make me afraid of that type of relationship. I don’t have kids of my own and to be barred from being with one I have nurtured for so long would be agony. For that woman all I can say is lesson learned.
This is very sad, but this is no different than if a heterosexual couple got married and the stepparent was never allowed to become an adoptive parent. The heterosexual couple divorces and the stepparent doesn’t get custody.
Adoption policy reform may be needed, but but I do not think of this as anti-gay discrimination.
I know I’m not really thinking this out too much, but I’m tempted to say that there should be a legal obligation for the bio parent to put opposition to co-parenting on record. The adult who messes with a child in this manner is being selfish and manipulative–your now-ex was good enough to change the diapers, but then it’s OK to just strip that person out of a child’s life? NO. The consequences are very unpredictable, but they’re not likely to be positive. If this woman didn’t want her then-partner to be part of her child’s life, then that was reason enough for them to not live together. That child isn’t a baby doll, he’s a real little boy, and it was wrong of his mother to play house.
Although this law really doesn’t take the child’s best interest into account, as long as it has been applied equally to heterosexual couples who are in the same situation–and it seems as though it has–we can’t argue that it’s unfair.
IMO, the law should be changed because a person can be more of a parent to a child than someone who just gives birth to it or signs some legal document stating it.
my sister is a “mom” to a 5yr old whom she helped her partner adopt financially at 6months old( my sister paid the 20-30k)in Guatamala, my sister is “CC” her partner is mommy….they Live in Va. (very Unfriendly gay state) – they broke up within the past 6months..and luckily, since my sister makes the 6 figures..her X, isn’t keeping thier daughter from her…(my sis pays day care and other expenses,and has her 4 days every other week) …I think its a disgrace that this lesbian in the story can’t wrk it out fr thier childs sake.