Rachel warmed up by doing a great segment on Countdown, insisting, correctly, that the issue of whether or not torture “works” has no place in the torture debate in a free country.

She also said that Mancow Muller’s commendable admission that he was wrong and waterboarding is torture will change the torture debate “to the extent that it is honest.”

So not at all, then. Carry on.

Ready, Fire, Aim
Rachel started her own show off with the latest evidence that, African-American President or not, racism is still thriving in our great land, and not just in the little backwoodsy parts that everyone likes to make fun of.

I am referring, of course, to the appalling reaction to President Obama’s nomination of Judge Sonia Sotomayor.

After shocking rumors surfaced that Sotomayor may have both Puerto Rican ancestry and a uterus, many Republicans have announced that she can’t possibly have really earned degrees and top class ranks from Ivy League schools, and she must have gotten them because she went on double coupon day or something.

Thank you, gentlemen, for warning us of the dangers of appointing a judge who will automatically throw white men in jail because her Latina feminine empathy will make her go all crazy with rage.

And then she’ll force you to watch chick flicks while eating scary new food and making you pronounce her name with the emphasis on brazenly unconventional syllables!

Mark McKinnon, former media advisor to President Bush, dropped by to remind us that many Republicans are just as horrified by their scum-spewing brethren and give a little insight into the anxiety that thoughtful conservatives have over the push to court the coveted Frightened Racist demographic.

The Obaminee
Rachel took on the flimflammery about the Supreme Court reversing some of Judge Stotomayor’s decisions.

Tom Goldstein of SCOTUSblog.com joined Rachel to help her blast great big shotgun holes through this tissue-thin argument.

Ms. Information
Rachel introduced us to America’s most lovable new odd couple. David Boies represented Gore in the Bush vs. Gore recount battle, and Ted Olson represented Bush.

The third-best possible scenario would be that now they’ve escaped from prison, shackled together at the ankle.

And the best, of course, would be that they’re now lovers and a techno-pop duo, touring the country and working their way up the charts.

But they’ve still done really well by hitting the second-best possible scenario, which is that they have filed a lawsuit challenging Prop 8 together.

Attention TV executives: I am begging you to make a reality show of this.

Throw in a road trip to D.C. and a quest to find love of their own and I will watch it slavishly. (OK, I will pretend not to watch it, but it will be secretly all over my DVR.)

GOP in Exile
Republicans have been trying to score big scary political points by opposing the closing of Guantanamo.

Except that Defense Secretary Bob Gates wants it closed. And so does General David Petraeus. And Admiral Mike Mullen, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Oopsie.

Jonathan Alter of Newsweek dropped in to talk about the political advantage of having guys who wear a whole lotta medals on your side and look at shifting political lines in the military.

Rachel and Alter noted that the Republican hard line on Guantanamo is close to the opposite of what our most respected military authorities are saying. With luck, Democrats will manage to peek out from under their desks long enough to point that out.

The Blago Tapes Part 2
To get us up to speed on the latest developments on Rod Blagojevich, Senator Roland Burris (D), and the State of Illinois continuing to wear a hat and dark glasses in public, Rachel ushered us into the opening night of The Rachel Maddow Show FBI Wiretap Theatre.

It was delightful, unless you are Roland Burris or one of the Blago Brothers.

Ana Marie Cox (hooray!) of Air America Radio and just the word parts of Playboy joined Rachel in the studio (extra hooray!) to chat about what may happen to Senator Burris.

Burris won’t win his primary? With all due respect, Ms. Cox, I lived in Chicago for nine years; I think you underestimate the good people of Illinois.

Just Enough
Kent filled Rachel in on the creepy fertility porn that is Jon & Kate Plus 8, which has apparently only gotten creepier. I don’t care if it’s all a ratings stunt or not. I don’t want to hear about it.

I beg you, please watch Advocates of Love instead.

Cocktail Moment
Rachel reported that the incredible glass-sided cantilevered house from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is for sale.

Buyers, remember: no throwing stones or driving Ferraris. And no calling someone a racist after you’ve just baselessly questioned her intellect.