Adult Supervision
Rachel and New York Times Columnist Frank Rick talked about how some politicians and a good chunk the American public are acting like… Grownups.

Fortunately, we have alleged Huggies patron Louisiana Senator David “Do You Know Who I Am?” Vitter to help keep things balanced.

Like Father, Like Daugher
Rachel welcomed Maverick offspring Meghan McCain to discuss her Daily Beast column on Ann CoulNoSheStillGetsNoGoogleHitsFromMe.

Rachel described McCain’s opponent as “volatile, ruthless, unpredictable, and sometimes flat-out mean,” so I’m guessing we shouldn’t hold our breath for an in-studio rebuttal, much as I would like to see that particular ferocious downsmacking.

On the topic of the recession, McCain, 24, said, “I agree with my father,” and came out against pork in the spending bill. When Rachel pressed her on Senator McCain’s against-history-and-logic idea of a spending freeze, the younger McCain said that she reads a lot about economic things, but doesn’t understand them. Oh, Pumpkin.

On the upside, she thinks the Republican Party should moderate a bit more, cut out the shouty vaguely racist wingnuttery, “reach out” to more people, and hey, maybe stop giving speaking engagements to The Beast of 10,000 Slurs, so you have to give her some props.

One more thing:
Rachel noted that John Kerry, slammed during his Presidential bid as an effete liberal by every form of media on earth and a few that haven’t been invented yet, is actually a total bad-ass when it comes to the manly sport of hockey.

Yeah, but you should hear how long his trash talk takes.

Ms. Information
Hey, another baseball story! No, wait, try to maintain consciousness – it gets better!

Let’s just say that it may not be long before you head out to the stadium to wave giant foam tulips and do The Windmill.

Oh, poor Detroit. Like it needs more mortification. What did it do in a past life? Former mayor Kilpatrick’s 6,000 text messages with his chief of staff/illicit lover have been released.

The messages aren’t exactly Shakespeare’s 18th sonnet, but they certainly inspired Rachel to some camera-and-acronym magic!

In the comments, I would like to see the closest thing you’ve ever gotten to a genuinely romantic text message. Hint: If it involves “ROTF,” it probably doesn’t count, no matter which context it’s in.

GOP in Exile
Rachel reported on the embarrassing fact that many of the lawmakers who did the most public grandstanding about earmarks in the omnibus spending bill have some, um, earmarks in the spending bill. To the tune of $240 million.

Because she’s absolutely certain that they’d want that to be public too, Rachel awesomely gave us the honor roll of names with the Earmark Crawl. Which, now that I think about it, sounds like the very late sequel to a delightfully bad B horror movie.

Joint Chief
We have a new Drug Czar! Seattle police chief Gil Kerlikowske has been described as “smart and reasonable,” and seems to be open to sending bustees into treatment rather than jail.

He’s also into science and results over blind ideology, so it’s conceivable that one day you may not have to score pot on the street to deal with Grandma’s chemo anymore.

Bruce Mirken, director of communications for the Marijuana Policy Project, called for “cautious optimism” and some sustained, inexplicable giggling.

I’m sorry. That was a cheap shot and I won’t do that anymore. Nor will I mention that the incidence of viewing TRMS while eating cold pizza and Cheez Doodles just went up like 3,000 %.

(Awkward, Horsey Little) Cocktail Moment
After we learned that Rachel texts her land line to make the robot phone voice say hideous things, Rachel brought us the compelling story of Shorty the Shetland Pony. Stand strong, my short sister!