People contemplating suicide give few warning signals, but the American Journal of Public Health and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention both state that there are things to watch for in yourself and others.

Feelings of isolation, worthlessness and sadness are major signs of depression. Crying for no reason, sleep disruption, problems with eating too much or too little–these can all be signs of serious depression.

The “why bother” feeling that takes over many depressed people can lead to suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts.

But Goldenberg warns that seriously suicidal people “don’t tell you that they are going to do this. It’s the people who are making attempts who are asking for help. Very deeply depressed and suicidal people are beyond that place of seeking help. They don’t threaten it, but just do it one day.”

The stresses on LGBT people are immense and do not lessen with time. Major life events like a break up or loss of a job can trigger depression that can spiral into suicidal thinking.

“We need to look out for ourselves and each other,” says Compton. “We have to recognize that we have reasons to be depressed, but no good reasons to kill ourselves. But getting that information out–that’s the hard part. I don’t know how we do that except by talking about how we feel.”