Comments on: Gay slurs and death by “Bully-cide”

By: drewski

drewski — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 03:58:07 +0000

@Chad–Here’s the link from the Cleveland Plain Dealer. The comments are interesting.
http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2009/04/parent_of_mentor_boy_who_kille.html

Please note that, at the end of the colum, Mr Mohat indicates the family will be willing to drop the suit (in Federal court, thanks) if the Mentor schools set up a more responsive anti-bullying program. I’m amazed at how NOT about money this is for them.

By: Chad

Chad — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 03:15:05 +0000

JD:

First, no need for name-calling. That’s how bullying gets started.

Second, have you even read all my posts?

Third, this issue goes much farther than having a Bully Program in the schools, which I FULLY condone. Never once did I say that a school should not have one.

Here is my point:

People need to realize that even with a program to curb bullying, the problem will not go away. You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink. Kids will only approach adults about this kind of stuff if they feel comfortable doing so. And while teachers and administrators have the responsibility to stop bullying when they see it, the fact of the matter is that they don’t see all that goes on. As I said before, schools can’t monitor everything kids say or do to each other passing down the hallways or out on the playground. So don’t expect them to be able to handle all of life’s problems.

And finally, parents have at least as much responsibility for the way their children behave as schools do. After all, they are the ones raising their children, and the way parents behave can have a dramatic influence on children.

This situation is much deeper than having a bullying program or expelling kids (which is quite difficult to do if you know anything about School Law). To look at the issue in such a shallow light is simply thoughtless. And, unfortunately, a lot of this has to do with how society treats the GLBT community as a whole.

By: Sarrellec

Sarrellec — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 19:53:37 +0000

I want to revisit this topic with something a bit more hopeful.
There is a simple way to obviate the current system, and another poster mentioned it.
Treat assault in school the way it is treated in “real life”.
suspension, suspension, a separate bully school (prison).
They used to call them reform schools.
But, again, the point here is this is the system this society WANTS.
We’ve gone from funding genius to quashing it.
We’ve gone from the best and brightest to pandering to the lowest common denominator.
Why?
It works better for the powers that be.
Promoting/rewarding the mundane, the average, the rich and enculcating a system which drives the brightest (those that would prove to challenge the “rightful place” of those in power later on in life) to self-destruction is a simple social method of self-preservation.
I recall a short story which was made into a Twilight Zone episode in which national intelligence testing becomes mandatory. Those children deemed too intelligent are killed, their bodies returned to their parents.
Hmmmm…the story of these suicides doesn’t seem to be too far removed, does it?

By: Sarrellec

Sarrellec — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 19:42:23 +0000

Schools are primarily there to indoctrinate children into the caste system extant in this country. Learning anything useful is secondary. School is there to enforce comformity. It is there to establish a social pecking order and to create obedient little zombies who cowtow to authority and, just like in prison, inmate inter-violence is a useful tool to compliment this indoctrination.
Gym teachers are there to pre-train gun-fodder. The entire system is MEANT to degrade, bully, deconstruct and break the will of children.
We really must give up our little fantasies regarding our social structure and how it works and why.
Businesses need workers who will do what they’re told. Who will recognize and accept their weakness and proper place in the over-all structure.
Brain-dead bullies will succeed because they’re stupid enough to swallow the party line hook line and sinker and will help train the different, the imaginative, the thinkers and those whose very existence bucks this status quo to become good little productive wage slaves.
Colleges and boot camp are there for the same purpose.
That’s why anti-bullying rules and effectively stopping bullying simply will never happen.
Even the teachers who want to stop bullying will find their efforts ignored, or worse, will find themselves threatened for bucking the system.
This is what we are, America. Only the strongest, dullest, most conformed survive.

By: JD in CT

JD in CT — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 18:12:37 +0000

Chad, You’re [a jerk].
These kid’s have no choice but to go to school all day, everyday. They are forced to face these bigots day in and day out. It is the schools job to make sure a gun-man doesn’t enter and blow everyone away, why are they exempt from preventing a student from going home and blowing himself away???

People like you with the same mind-set are the reason there are no protections for GLBT youth in regard to harassment in schools.

I do agree however, that the school having to pay out to the Mother will take funds away from implementing a program for the school, but the tax payers have the ability to vote for a program that protects the children. If they didn’t care enough to enact one, then let them pay for it. I guess that’s the price they pay for not ensuring the safety and security of their children at their schools.

You bet your ass I am going to call my local Board of Ed to see what programs they have in place to protect children from harassment of ANY kind, and how they seek to improve it.

This stuff in totally unacceptable in this day and age. There should be a 3 strikes law for these “bullies”.
1: Suspension
2: Suspension
3: Permanant Expulsion from the school system.

Maybe after #2, the parents will beat them into submission.

This is horrible…my heart goes out to ALL parents and their children affected by bullying in schools. Being a student who was tormented day in and day out for being assumed gay when I was fucking 7…, I feel for their pain. Maybe the government needs to step in. Maybe the States should be held responsable for the actions or lack there-of of their school systems.

By: warren

warren — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 14:19:25 +0000

There will always be bulling of one type or another. Unfortunately its the nature of the beast. However schools should create a safe environment and act appropriately when they are made aware or see inappropriate things occurring. The point is there should be a safe place and supervising adults should intervene, period.

By: DR

DR — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 13:38:26 +0000

Some people blame the victim’s parents for not doing enough before, but I’m curious to know how much they knew. I endured loads of homophobic verbal and physical harrassment in school for years, but I never told my parents. I felt way too ashamed and embarassed to do so, and the fact that I wasn’t out made it even more difficult to even think about telling my parents someone was calling me “fag”. Had my parents known more, I think they would have helped me.

By: Robert, NYC

Robert, NYC — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 11:57:43 +0000

This horrendous situation begs the question. Why should hate speech be protected when it can often lead to suicide and murder of people, gay or straight? Had the bully not been in this poor boy’s class, Eric would probably be alive today. There should be mandatory sensitity programs in all schools. Lets not also lose sight of the fact that there are many homophobic teachers in our school system who stand by and do nothing when they see bullying. Their inaction and silence condones and enables it and some of the responsibility is theirs.

By: Chad

Chad — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 11:47:30 +0000

Dan, drewski-

If the kid did go to someone about this, and if the parents aren’t suing for money, then it’s a different story. The school has the responsibility to make sure programs are in place to prevent this, and if faculty or administrators are approached with bullying concerns, then they need to be addressed.

From what I read in the article, it didn’t mention any of these things. Perhaps I should have waited until more information was released.

I still want to know where the child got this gun from, though…

By: Taboo

Taboo — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 09:08:19 +0000

Bullies are always going to be present in our lives. Whether it’s at work or school, we have people that somehow tend to feel superior over everyone. They try with all their might to make you look small or inferior to them because they are insecure. It truly sucks that young people have to endure such negativity, while attempting to learn. The sad part is that when you go to school, you aren’t just there to learn historial facts and timelines which is important but it’s about learning to deal with other people that are similar to you and completely different. School is about being taught discipline and learning how to disciplining your self. Sharing ideals and creating solutions but mainly to take the knowledge that you enquired and become an active member of society. To be heavily involved in your community, your state and the entire planet.

Being comfortable in your very own skin isn’t something that you learn overnight but with the great combination of home, school and even some outside organization or group, it can be done. When I was going to school, I endure a bit of teasing and taunting from my peers and even when I look back now, it doesn’t make what they did feel any better or easier to deal with. Many of the people that took time out of their busy day, to tease me were actually dealing with many of the things they were accusing me of or putting on me.

I have to shame the devil and tell the truth because when some of this teasing was going on, I was thinking about quitting school and the thought of me taking my own life was there. However in the same breath, I was that sensitive that when the guy that I had a huge crush on didn’t respond the way I thought he should, I was heartbroken in the same way. I guess we don’t realized that life is full of so many ups and downs but unfortunately many kids like Eric (who had such a beautiful warm smile) have to end up being casualities in a war that has been going on since the beginning of civilization.

It’s never about Us vs Them because in some case we have been the ‘Us’ and we have been the ‘Them’. We could blame the school, blame the kids that harrassed him and even put part of the blame on the parents but it isn’t going to do any good. It’s easier to put the blame on someone other than yourself. It seems the real blame lies in all of us because we have sat back and allowed things like this to happen in the year 2009. From gay marriages to the presidency, most people are full of fears and concerns that we shouldn’t even be thinking about at this point in time.

The reason that kids go to school and call other kids names like fag or homo, is because they hear this kind of talk everywhere. From their parents, friends and even the media which glorifies this kind of talk. It’s normally done out of jest or to get a big laugh but in the end, everything involved looks like the dumb ones. Some kids and even some adults don’t know the difference between make-believe and what is real.

When the government we doesn’t allow consenting adults, who happen to be of the same sex, to have legal rights to marry, what kind of message is that sending to the youth. It’s saying that anyone who is gay is different and not worthy of the same rights as straight people. Being gay must be something to make fun of or laugh at because people think your not only a freak nature but your doing something wrong in the eyes of the law. I don’t want to even talk about religion because that is entirely a whole other subject but just as worse when it comes down to how they view homosexuality. It’s a sore subject that is never really discussed with any kind of compassion, sympathy and empathy for persons who happen to be homosexuals.

Remember we come in a variety pack because we come in all shapes, sizes and colors. That goes the same as for ages because from the youngest to the oldest, we are here and not going anywhere.

I feel sorry for folks that don’t like gay people or have acceptances for gay people because the world would be so sad without us. The world is a sadder place because Eric is no longer in it and we should all feel that lost.

I have to say though if the school officials saw this pattern and didn’t do anything about it, then there is something that has to be done. If no action is taken now, there is going to be more fabulous kids, that will never see another tomorrow. We won’t bbe able to see them grow and flourish into healthy and happy adults. The transition from kid to adult isn’t the hard part, it’s when your learning about yourself on a daily basis and there is no one there that you can identify with or anyone that wants to identify with you.