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Loading ...Lesbian pioneer Del Martin is dead
08.27.2008 3:15pm EDT
Del Martin (left) and her partner Phyllis Lyon, being married by Gavin Newsom.
(San Francisco, California) Lesbian rights pioneer Del Martin died Wednesday. She was 87. She and her partner Phyllis Lyon were the first to be legally married in the state of California.Her wife, Phyllis Lyon was at her side when she passed away.
At a meeting of the LGBT caucus at the Democratic National Convention, Gavin Newsom, his voice breaking, said he had just heard of her death. “Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon defined love, devotion and constancy,” he said.
A statement released later from Barack Obama said: “Michelle and I were deeply saddened to hear that Del Martin had passed. Del committed her life to fighting discrimination and promoting equality. Our thoughts and prayers go out to her spouse Phyllis Lyon, and all those who were touched by her life.”
Martin began working as an activist after receiving her degree in journalism from the University of California at Berkeley. While working on a newspaper in Seattle, Martin met her partner Phyllis Lyon and the two began working on behalf of lesbians in their community.
Martin and Lyon devoted their lives to working towards LGBT equality, healthcare access, advocacy on behalf of battered women, and issues facing elderly Americans. Their many contributions over the past five decades helped shape the modern LGBT movement.
Her last public political act, on June 16, 2008, was to marry Phyllis Lyon, her partner of 55 years. They were the first couple to wed in San Francisco after the California Supreme Court recognized that marriage for same-sex couples is a fundamental right in a case brought by plaintiffs including Martin and Lyon.
“Today the LGBT movement lost a real hero,” Kate Kendell, Executive Director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights said in a statement.
“For all of Del’s life, she was an activist and organizer even before we knew what those terms meant. Her last act of public activism was her most personal—marrying the love of her life after 55 years. In the wake of losing her, we recognize with heightened clarity the most poignant and responsible way to honor her legacy is to preserve the right of marriage for same-sex couples, thereby providing the dignity and respect that Del and Phyllis’ love deserved.”
“The lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community has lost one of its bravest and most admired activists,” said HRC President Joe Solmonese.
“Del Martin dared for decades to fight to marry her beloved Phyllis, and by doing so became an iconic hero the LGBT community. Her death is a great loss to all of us, but her life is an inspiration,” Solmonese said.
In 1955, Lyon and Martin were among the founders of the Daughters of Bilitis, the first lesbian rights organization.
In 1956, they launched “The Ladder,” the first lesbian newsletter, which became a lifeline for hundreds of women isolated and silenced by the restrictions of the era. Del Martin was the first openly lesbian woman elected to the board of the National Organization of Women (NOW), and in 1971, encouraged the board to pass a resolution stating that lesbian issues were feminist issues.
Del Martin’s publication of Battered Wives in 1976 was a major catalyst for the movement against domestic violence. Martin became a nationally known advocate for battered women, and was a co-founder of the Coalition for Justice for Battered Women in 1975.
Martin lectured at colleges and universities around the country. Martin received her doctorate from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in 1987.
In 1995, Martin and Lyon were named delegates to the White House Conference on Aging by Senator Dianne Feinstein and Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi. In 2004,
“Del lived her life with great compassion, wit, tenacity, generosity, and valor,” said The Honorable Donna Hitchens, Founder of the National Center for Lesbian Rights.
“She inspired thousands of us to be more courageous and energetic than we thought possible. When faced with moments of fatigue, laziness or weakness, one had only to ask – ‘What would Del and Phyllis do?’ While she will be greatly missed, her legacy will be cherished forever.”
Martin is survived by her spouse Phyllis Lyon, daughter Kendra Mon, son-in-law Eugene Lane, granddaughter Lorraine Mon, grandson Kevin Mon, sister-in-law Patricia Lyon and a vast, loving and grateful lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender family.
A public memorial and tribute celebrating the life of Del Martin will be planned in the next few weeks.
Instead of referring to ourselves by an ever-expanding alphabet soup acronym, why not simplify it with a term that covers us all no matter where we fall in line due to our orientation. That term is Second-Class Citizen.
Jack… we strongly disagree… my “partner” and I were together 16 years. When I would introduce him as my “partner”, most uninformed people would ask “What business are you in together?”. I can’t call him my spouse, it doesn’t sound right. As of 14JUL he is my Husband, and I love calling him that just as he does.
“Please do not use the gender-polarity words of “wife” and “husband” for any GLBT couples. We married GLBT folks have a non-binary word: “spouse.” Our culture must educate itself in this semantic regard. It also keeps us from confusing straight people who don’t yet quite know the proper way to refer us.”
With all due respect, there IS no “proper” way to refer to us. There is no “us” in this issue. Some blacks want to be referred to as African American, some black, some person-of-color, and I even know one black woman who refers to herself as colored. Is one of them more “proper” than another.
I don’t believe it’s my job to keep the straight community from being “confused” about my relationship. Frankly, some of their relationships confuse the hell out of me. But, it’s not my concern.
I am fortunate to have been able to enter a legal civil partnership – and though everybody at our ceremony (including the Justice of the Peace) used the word ‘marriage’ in the ceremony – I will probably always refer to my long-time partner as my partner. He’s been called that for so many years, it’s not worth the effort to try to change. I certainly wouldn’t OBJECT to calling him my husband, nor him calling me his husband, but it seems like such a petty thing to worry about when there are myriad legal and protection issues at stake.
I also have to own up to being a man of a certain age
and to me calling another man my “husband” is a tad too precious for my comfort level. I don’t MIND it – but in my personal history, it’s the way drag queens and transsexuals referred to their partners and it kinda gives me the weirds. Maybe not p.c. – but honest.
Back to the issue – LOL – we should never feel required to adapt our vocabulary to be “proper” – only to keep from damaging others.
Whoa now. Sorry, Jack, I don’t need to be educated on anything. Paul is my husband. I am his. Choose what words you will, but don’t try to force your opinions on me. That’s no better than heterosexuals trying to define their ideas of what a couple is.
Hey Jack-for-brains… why are you speaking for me?? my man is my husband…. if you want to use your antiquated, jurassic term than do so with pride… but dont shove it down my throat!
Jack,
I will be proud to refer to my man as my husband, there will be no doubt that I am referring to another man rather than some nebulous, genderless person. I will not bow before this kind of “political correctness”. I will call him what I will and that is from my heart, not from you or some editor or some educator. And I do not need educating in this regard, thank you very much.
My sincere thoughts and prayers go out to the Martin and Lyon families. Del’s deep love and commitment not only for Phyllis but also for the gay community over so many, many years stands strong and shines as a beacon of equality for all. She will be sorely missed by so many that she has endeared her heart to, in the battles, struggles and hard work put forth to achieve her commitment to the realization of equal rights, including marriage, for all. Rest in Peace dear, sweet and Loving Del – You Are Missed!
Just like when we want to be specifically mentioned when the straight community talks about inclusiveness and diversity, so does every sexual minority. Admittedly, it can get cumbersome, LGBTTTTQQIMSMWSWOSMA for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transexual, two-spirited (for aboriginals), transvestites, queer, questioning, intersexed, men who have sex with men (for those who don’t identify as gay or bisexual), women who have sex with women (for those who don’t identify as lesbian or bisexual), other sexual minorities, and allies. Maybe there are a few more, where does it end? If this creates confusion in our community what do you think it does in the straight community? I suggest that LGBTQ is adequate and the most appropriate and inclusive. The T can stand for all trans identified people. The Q can stand for the all-inclusive umbrella term of Queer (an uncomfortable term for some) for all sexual minorities, and for those questioning. Allies are very important, but they are not sexual minorities themselves who are discriminated against, so I’m not sure if they should get a letter. However we need to partner with them and all allies are welcome. I also think that Gay by itself can be used to refer to all same sex relationships, as many lesbians use this term to refer to themselves. If we want to include the whole community we can use the terms Queer, or the more scientific, Sexual Minorities or Sexual Diversity. Whether to use LGBTQ, Gay, Queer, or Sexual Minority depends on the context. We don’t want to feel left out, so we should make sure that everyone in our community feels included. Also, in general the terms gay or lesbian is preferred to the clinical term homosexual.
As for what term to use when referring to ones significant other. There are the gender neutral terms – partner, spouse, significant other, lover, and better half. And the gender specific terms – husband, wife, boyfriend, and girlfriend. I don’t think that we need to foist terms upon each other that are not comfortable. However, gender specific terms do not confuse that a same sex relationship is being referred to and such terms are the most clear. Clearly, if a man refers to his husband he is not the wife. Gender neutral terms reminds me of the days when one used gender neutral pronouns when referring to same sex people in their lives as a way of covering or staying in the closet. If the same sex couple in a relationship has not yet made the commitment to be boyfriend or wife, they can still refer to each other as the girl or guy I’m dating. If you are a man or a woman why keep it gender neutral? It may make more sense if one is trans identified to use gender neutral terms, other wise what are we hiding from? Gender neutral terms are more appropriate when one does not want to be specific or for legal terminology. for example if an invitation says significant others are welcome, it can be assumed that you can bring the person you are in relationship with. Spouse is a legal term. Wife or husband are also legal terms, but can appropriately be used when a couple is committed to each other whether or not a ceremony has occurred; not unlike a common law wife or husband in an unmarried straight relationship. To be fair I must acknowledge that for some, gender neutral terms better fits their same sex relationships if they have issues with the gender roles associated with husband and wife in straight relationships. The best advice is to ask how those involved would prefer to be addressed or referred to.
Note to Jack – Your “spouse”, would that be your husband or wife? “Husband” or “wife” will tell them everything in a single word. No confusion there. Although after 26 years with my “partner” I don’t think I’ll change the wording if and when we get married.
Thank you Del and Phyllis. When I’m 87 my partner and I will be together 62 years. I cry tonight not out of sadness but out of joy knowing you were able to spend 55 years together and in the end to be legally married.
With all due respect, Jack, I have no aversion to referring to the man I married as my husband. I am not confused, nor are people that I speak to, by referring to my him as my husband. There is no offense or confusion associated with a male spouse being a husband or a female spouse being a wife. Those that associate those titles with specific responsibilities are probably the ones that need to be educated. Believe me, when people hear my refer to the man I married (in a religious and civil ceremony I might add) as my husband there is no confusion.
Note to Editors: Please do not use the gender-polarity words of “wife” and “husband” for any GLBT couples. We married GLBT folks have a non-binary word: “spouse.” Our culture must educate itself in this semantic regard. It also keeps us from confusing straight people who don’t yet quite know the proper way to refer us.
Dell & Phyllis…
Thank you so very much.
I wonder if Obama will somehow mention her in his speech….
oh! I guess its the other Clinton tonight….well will he?
What a wonderful thing that she was able to marry her partner and to have her as her wife at her side as she passed into history. May her work and sacrifice not be forgotten by younger generations of gay youth simply because they do not have to go through such a hard time because of what she worked to accomplish. May we and other courageous souls take up her banner and work for equality and understanding until such a time as “promised equality” is a reality. Peace and love to Phyllis Lyon and all who loved her during this time of loss.
Is it possible to Honor this woman and the things she stould for by making this Del Martin Day?