Subscribe to Breaking NewsRuby-Sachs: Trying to Love the Religious Right
It has gotten a little too easy to equate religious conviction with homophobia. I have never been a very committed member of the Jewish faith myself and have often wondered why people I know well would rather spend weekend mornings at church than with the New York Times in bed, but my feelings toward religion have never been quite so hostile.
Last night, while flipping through the television channels I came across a televangelist station. Total revulsion ensued.
After all the homophobic religious right publicity and the intervention of the Mormon church in marriage politics I am having trouble feeling good about any religious groups. It doesn’t help that many of the most offensive anti-gay ads call on religious content to justify their actions. For example, the recent West Virginia ad by a group called “Campaign Secrets” shows a straight family in the sight of a sniper rifle before rhapsodizing about God’s definition of marriage.
This new found hostility isn’t warranted and can be combated with just a little understanding. I watched the recent movie “Save Me”- a fictionalized depiction of one program aimed at converting gay men to the heterosexual lifestyle through religious teachings – last week.
It is an amazing story with brilliant actors and an engaging script, but more important, it is a story that forces a more balanced and understanding look at religious Americans. By the end of the movie you will love, I promise, the overzealous religious leaders as much as the gay men they try to save. You will also be forced to look at the program they run as a package that does good as well as harm.
We need more of this in the media. The religious right is doing itself no favors by promoting over-the-top analyses of the social issues. If they refuse to promote understanding, it is up to us to search it out. That is, and will continue to be, the best way to achieve equality for LGBT Americans in all states.
One doesn’t have to go to church or synagogue necessarily, but I suspect some people find it more fulfilling to be interacting with others on weekend mornings, in a setting where ostensibly they’re supposed to focus on doing better for others (often other members of the community one wouldn’t come into contact with otherwise), than to be sitting in bed reading made-up stories in a paper like the NY Times. (Though I’ll grant that doing hands-on charity work on the weekends might be even better).
“The religious right is doing itself no favors by promoting over-the-top analyses of the social issues. If they refuse to promote understanding, it is up to us to search it out. That is, and will continue to be, the best way to achieve equality for LGBT Americans in all states.”
Uummmmmm, yeah. We know just how productive this very strategy has been over the last 40 years. You know, for once it would be refreshing for a GLBT activist/leader to advocate kicking ass as much as most advocate kissing ass.
I think you are correct with your first thoughts on the matter. Don’t give in the religious right wants us exterminated, not physically. They do not want us to exist. I want nothing to do with any organization that will not accept me.
Well said by all of the above!
Ruby, next time you pop your head out of your butt to watch some TV, try watching something more meaningful and relevant to the real world than any religious program- l SpongeBob Squarepants! Granted its not as unrealistic & hateful but it may help you understand things better.
I’ll take a look at it. But what I hear is that these groups fail miserably, eg think of that Ted Haggard christian minister type, who got outed by his gay PROSTITUTE BF. Then he claimed he got cured. And then he got outed as being involved (”but wenever touched”) with an 18 year old (he’s prob 45-50, and btw one of the gayest people I have ever seen in a picture – instant recognition he was gay in the Movie Constantines Sword, before I realized who he was as I scanned ahead in the movie.
All these groups do is create internal conflict in people between their religious implanted beliefs that call them a sinner, and their desires / interests in other same sex people. Lousy way to live. Great path to suicide. For depression, which is the key element leading to most suicides is the inner conflict between competing emotions which usually are not really understood at the conscious level.
Not only do ex-gay programs hurt even the willing in these programs. They hurt the unsuspecting women who these “now back in the closet” gays marry.
I see no reason to waste any of my life’s energy or resources on any person or institution that wants me dead or that believes I am “less than” human. Unless the members of the Abrahamic religions, notoriously patriarchal and completely regressive in their worldview, bother me or somehow try to diminish my personhood, I have chosen to ignore them. However, should they behave as they did in the Proposition H8 campaign in California, they are asking for trouble and many will will join in peaceful, non-violent confrontations, resistance, and in-your-face actions wherever possible and wherever it will serve to show them that the modern world is fed up with their hypocrisy and closed-heartedness.
Why? Your statements about searching out for understanding and then it is “the best way to achieve equality” in these United States: It’s a non-sequitur.
I read your piece twice. From what I understand, you are stating that we need the Religious Right to put more of their hate on the media to kill themselves, right? If so, I can see your point, but at the same time, I disagree. Their hatred and bigotry tends to taint peoples mind about us. People that allow themselves to be brainwashed and be followers of idiots.
Randy….preaching non-belief seems no different to me. Why not spiritual freedom, or just plain freedom? Dogma either way has become revolting to me. I have my own thoughts of a higher power, but those are my thoughts and they have served me well. I personally can’t imagine living without my beliefs, but I don’t have to worry about that because no one can take my private thoughts away from me. This is just an observation…nothing personal against you Randy. I am tired of these wingnuts feeling as though they have the “god market” cornered. It seems to lead directly to atheism, and that is frustrating as hell to me. It doesn’t have to be this way.
Religion is a net negative to society. As queer people, we get to experience that in very direct and personal and costly ways. We should be helping people to walk out from under the cloud of religion into the clear light of non-belief. It’s not just for our benefit, but for the whole world.
Ms. Ruby-Sachs… I too am confused as to what it is you are asking of us. Could you please clarify? I re-read your piece, and it’s not really evident what it was in that program you feel we need more of in the media. I can’t agree or disagree if I don’t know what you are talking about.
BUT, if you are asking us to do the same as love the sinner hate the sin…forget about it. That doesn’t work for anyone.
I agree with Bud and can’t improve on his comments, but to Ms. Ruby Sachs, are you kidding??????
Love the overzealous religious “leaders” who are inflicting harm on these gay men by confirming their self hatred? Say they are doing some good as well as harm?
Maybe I need to be enlightened about what they do, but just like with most of religion I’m not willing to believe in lies based on ulterior motives that are meant to cause me to hate myself! Religion DOES have a purpose and it has nothing to do with saving our souls (which we don’t have anyway).
I’m not sure what you mean by we need more of this in the media…more ex-gay exposes? More evidence of religion being used to reprogram us? Or more “moderate” religion (a total lie to get the middle of the road people who might actually have warm hearts onto the path of hatred and bigotry).
Apologizing for our disdain of religion is counter productive. We need as a society (not a gay community) to “fix” the religion problem.
More problems than our inequality will be solved if we as a race get over religion, and having an editor in one of the most affected groups try to apologize for religion IS NOT HELPING.
I see no reason to love those who would kill us and/or incarcerate us.
They are campaigning to us from having children, marrying, and forming families in most states.
We have no legal protections to live, work, worship, or vacation where we choose without fear of reprisal in most states.
People are still beaten and murdered for “walking while gay.”
Teenagers are denied meaningful sex-ed at the behest of the Religious Reich (sic), with a concomitant rise of STDs and HIV/AIDS.
Unmarried teen pregnancies are on the rise again, especially in the Bible Belt of the Deep South (and, need I mention ALASKA??!!).
Love the Religious Reich?
A hundred million of them at the bottom of the Pacific would be a good start!
“Claiming to do the will of God is a form of megalomania” (somebody famous said that, but I can’t remember who at the moment).
Bud Burgoon-Clark
San Diego CA USA
still waiting for my CONSTITUTIONAL rights,
200+ years after the founding of the Republic