Subscribe to Breaking NewsRuby-Sachs: Trans Confusion?
Erika Smith, a 23 year old pre-operative transgender from Washington, DC participates in a workshop titled 'M to F' (male to female) on June 7, 2008 at the Foundry United Methodist Church in Washington, DC.The Second Annual Capital Transgender Pride was celebrated in Washington with workshops, awards and a reception sponsored by the HIV/AIDS Whitman-Walker Clinic.
Yesterday, USA Today posted a story about Mike Penner - the LA Times sports writer who left to become a woman and then returned, a little over a year later, as a man. Penner’s journey is an uncommon one, but not unheard of and USA Today explores exactly why this sort of transition and then transition back might happen.
For some, the year of “passing” as the opposite gender before qualifying for surgical gender reassignment is too painful to endure and reversal seems like a more humane option. For others, individual relationships with loved ones create an incentive to revert to the gender they have been expressing since birth. As the story states, some people just make a mistake and, in the confusion of feeling out of place in their own body, they choose an extreme option when other solutions might fit better with their emotional reality.
These are all normal explanations. Trans people are people after all and people make mistakes, are unsure of how they feel and often feel regret about the decisions they make.
But at the end of the story a real insight into the problem of transgendered regret is given. Claire Winter, a transsexual from Seattle and friend of Penner states, “This indicates the fundamental problem of trying to shove people into either end of the gender pole. It serves to point out the fact that it isn’t as simple as flipping a coin.”
When people feel uncomfortable with one gender role or expression and see elements of the opposite gender to which they can relate, it is natural to consider a transition. But most people are not 100% men or 100% women. We fall somewhere in between. If you are lucky, your gender is somewhere near the biological bits you ended up with. If you are less lucky, the disconnect is felt more deeply. But to expect individuals who live as men to simply convert into an entirely female persona does not allow for a middle ground.
We need to reconceptualize gender so that there are multiple expressions and multiple roles. This will permit all people to find the right fit for their own sense of self. For some, this may mean surgery; for others, cross-dressing; and for others still, some combination of both. But, as long as we insist that people fit into one of two narrowly drawn gender roles, we will see casualties. Penner is one of these casualties.
In fact, if we really look at the people around us, we might find more victims of the gender dichotomy than we expected.
I’ve been living as a girl and “passing” as a girl for two years, and i am still not sure if i want to have any surgical changes. I am still sadden that i lost my biological capability to have my own children. Btw. I am in my 20s. Never been married. I am a trans woman who only likes men.
I found the USA today article ultimately serves transphobia and the notion that all transsexuals are confused beings created by society. Any lesbian or gay man has suffered that familiar canard. “You just haven’t met the right guy yet…”
Trotting out Paul McHugh from Johns Hopkins and his dated study from the 1970’s was a particularly low blow. Offering no rebuttal by researchers who have in the ensuing 30 years found indications of biological bases for transsexualism is a major breach of journalistic integrity.
Ms. Ruby-Sachs needs to look at her own issues with transgendered people as indicated in a recent article about Ugly betty which totally ignored a positive portrayal of a transgendered woman while she went on and on about how a gay man was portrayed. Just note how your banner picture has to blare the surgical-status of that woman, as if that were relevant top any reader.
Tom makes a good point…maybe we don’t need more roles as Ruby suggests, but should avoid creating these stereotypes for children that end up haunting people all their life. This applies to hets as much as us, as we all have known a butch girl or fem guy who is totally straight but just doesn’t fit the gender norms society expects.
But she also makes a good point about the spectrum all of us fall on, somewhere. Here in Western Mass during our marriage fight I met a trans person from our community when my (now) husband and I were on a panel to answer questions for PFLAG. Many of the parents wanted to understand why their kids want to get married and we offered to try to explain.
This trans person sometimes presents male, sometimes female. His/her (have no idea which to use) position on marriage was very interesting and a nice addition to our discussions. One night she showed up looking like a pretty middle aged woman with a nice outfit, pearls etc and then another night was quite manly, sord of looking like a retired factory worker with plaid, jeans, boots etc.
My point is he/she was very comfortable in both outlooks and it fealt natural (to us anyway)…it wasn’t a bid to get attention, it was a true expression of how he or she fealt that day. I think it was harder for us, honestly, as we were looking at a very different person each day.
Anyway, point well taken. We’ve all had to deal with some sort of gender dissapointment (my father hated that I didn’t want to play baseball, finding swimming not “tough” enough) and what trans people deal with is just an extension of that.
Anyone remember the show “Free to be, you and me” from the 1960s or early 1970s? We need an updated version. I was alarmed when our adopted 13 year(he has been with us since age 4) old said that sewing is for girls. My husband LOVES to quilt.
People should just be free to be themsleves.
While I like pick up trucks and power tools I am sure there are still plenty of nelly things about me. And while I have never wanted to be a woman, doing drag on a couple Halloweens cemented that I did not want to be a woman. Also I feel that many women are held back by what society still tells us what a woman should be, while men get ulcers from not being in touch with their emotions.
Tom in Long Beach