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People who oppose homosexuality but support traditional Conservatism are in a bit of a bind: they love small government, living in the land of the free, a reduction in gun laws and taxes and publicly controlled services, but they also want to control the relationships of the people around them.
This contradictory stance has given rise to a new kind of bigot. The laissez-faire homophobe is someone who doesn’t mind if gay people exist and doesn’t necessarily hate the abstract idea of gay people. He or she just doesn’t want to know about their existence, to see them acting “gay” in their everyday lives and he or she definitely does not want them to interact with children.
Their objections to homosexuality are often couched in language about “opinions” or “beliefs” (notice the not-so-subtle reference to Miss California here).
Meet Joe the Plumber, who gave an interview with Christianity Today yesterday and had this to say:
In the last month, same-sex marriage has become legal in Iowa and Vermont. What do you think about same-sex marriage at a state level?
At a state level, it’s up to them. I don’t want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it’s wrong. People don’t understand the dictionary—it’s called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It’s not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we’re supposed to do—what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we’re supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins. I’ve had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they’re people, and they’re going to do their thing.
If you can get through the offensive language, what we are left with is a “live free or die” but just don’t do it in my backyard approach to hatred.
We, as a community, need to combat the laissez-faire honmophobe with the same vigor as the gay-basher. The notion that turning bigotry into opinion will erase its harmful effects is patently untrue. Verbal discrimination effects others whether or not it is opinion, fact, belief or a thoughtless misstatement.
As well, the laissez-faire homophobe uses a sense of entitlement to a “gay-free” zone to argue for the effective exclusion of gay people from public life. It’s not that they don’t want gay teachers in theirschool, it’s that they don’t want gay characters on the T.V. programs they watch, they don’t want gay airline personnel for the one trip they take at Christmas, their “backyard” is and always will be the equivalent of the entire United States.
We must be careful of the laissez-faire homophobe because their tone is so reasonable. It is necessary to point out, over and over again, that couching bigotry in nice words does not make it any less harmful.
So he wouldn’t have gay people near his children… but what if his children ARE gay? What a horrible thing to have to hear from your parent.
I agree with randy what if your son or daughter is gay; or for that matter anyone you love around you. How horrible it is to know that the person you live next to around to might feel that way. This is hate of the worst kind the kind where they smile to your face but hate you when your not looking. The kind that get people in trouble because of so much repression of such feelings that under the right circumstances can be very dangerous
Opinion is one thing. When your opinion begins to marginalize me, to keep me from jobs, from associating with others (children are often invoked to perpetuate the child molester myth, from having the same rights as you…well that’s called discrimination.
I remember when “opinions” about blacks and the necessity of separating the races were shared; I remember when “opinions” about Jews were spoken freely. In our society, we came to recognize those forms of bigotry for what they are. Did we stop the thoughts? No, but we stopped the open expression of them.
I agree, Emma. We must STOP tolerating hate, bigotry and homophobia. Couching it in terms like free speech, opinion, and beliefs does not hide the ugliness of what it is, or the hurt it causes.
My question is, “What gay person would in his right mind would befriend someone who wouldn’t let them anywhere near his kids?” The answer is: None. Like many conservatives, Joe is “making up” having gay friends so he won’t look like the bigot that he obviously is. Joe probably sat next to a gay guy in high school and, since Joe never got around to beating him up, has thus classifies this guy as a “friend”.
What a truly ignorant pig of a human. He is a real Unmensch!
I don’t think the “free speech” meme is necessarily an attempt to excuse the idiotic *content* of speech like the Plumber’s. Personally, I think it’s better when we can identify the neo-Archie Bunkers in our midst – so we can know with whom to avoid associating in our personal lives, and so we can most effectively craft our response to hateful bullshit.
As a certain cartoon character from my childhood days was fond of saying… “Knowing is half the battle.”
FINALLY!!!!!! Someone addressed the very slick homophobe tool: belief, opinion. I just brought this to my sister’s attention and it needs to be addressed because so many people, like my sis, are gay friendly on the generic sense, BUT, when someone pulls the opinion, belief and especially religion card, it stops them in their tracks. WE MUST confront this!
Can you please explain to us, laissez-faire homophobes, how normalizing neurotic behavior and its associated paraphilias, is emotionally healthy for children? With the intended goal of the liberal bodies of the APA(s) and the ABA colluding with the executive, legislative, and judicial branches of government to normalize neurotic behavior, how do we explain to our children that you engage in sadomasochism, a continuation of adolescent suicidal ideation, and the only reason you are pursuing this direction is to justify your behavior and to normalize borderline caretaker environments for children. We’d feel much more comfortable with your antisocial behavior if you provided replicated, empirical data studies to support your conclusions via MRI polygraphs.
The real reason why white trash like the plumber don’t want us near their kids has nothing to do with the “molestation myth” and everything to do with not wanting their kids to see that we are normal, even nice people. It is easy to demonise the unknown – not so easy when the person being demonised is someone you know.
How about we call it “attrition homophobia.”
By tangible, mental treatment, and societal treatment, we’re shut out & disconsidered.
Symbol: a marriage made out of heart coal.
“Attrition Homophobia” is also being attacked with varieties of the silent treatment.
Hmm…he’s maybe 110 miles from me, assuming he’s still around Toledo. One of the cool things about a semi-redneck state like Ohio is guys like him. I’m not sayin’ he’s a closet case, but it always goes back to the same obvious question–if you’re a str8 man, why the HELL are you so interested in other guys layin’ pipe? It’s not like some dude’s comin’ over to bang his wife. If you’re str8, it would seem you should be more interested in Miss California’s prepaid rack. Hell, you’d think he was afraid somebody was coming over to sodomize him…like maybe that’s a little fantasy lurking just around the corner from his amygdala.
LOVE hookin’ up with guys like Joe the Plumber. You know they don’t tell anybody what they’re doing, but that repressed energy–man, hot as hell! I’m ready to do my part to advance the cause. No swine flu here, just swine.
In my experience, calling someone a queer IS a slur. For me it’s only a step less offensive than f** or f***** (I don’t use those words and I make sure no one around me uses them either).
“they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children” – That actually is a fear I had that my brother wouldn’t let me see my niece due to my sexuality, but luckily did not happen in my case. Joe says he had (past tense) friends who were gay, but are they still friends? I mean, it’d be difficult to be friends when you know there’s an insurmountable wall of bigotry between you, much less the constant preaching you’d have to endure.
I can only guess, but it seems like his knowledge of gays extends only to the biggest stereotypes and fears that bigots think about.
Isn’t his 15-mins up???
Is “Joe the unlicensed handyman who can sometimes fix your pipes” still in the press? Didn’t his 15 minutes expire 6 months ago?