Subscribe to Breaking NewsRuby-Sachs: Reflecting on Calling in Gay
The call in gay day has been met with mixed reviews. Perhaps the most understandable critique is that a day off work is a hard thing to orchestrate in these economic times. Asking even the most out gay employees to call in when they are not sick or they do not have a family emergency is asking for a lot.
But I stand by my original comment: if LGBT people were all truly frustrated, the risk would have been worth it. And if the entire community had taken off work and boycotted businesses, the effect would have been felt.
At the end of the day, this was a truly clever idea. It caught the media’s attention before the event and a little more cohesive organization (like the nationwide protests after Proposition 
would have made it sufficiently noisy to justify the concept’s appeal.
Tough economic times make it difficult to focus on identity politics, no matter how passionately we might feel about the rights violations in the U.S. What Day without a Gay should teach the entire LGBT community is that, despite the American economic climate, fighting for equal rights should still be priority. The failure of Day without a Gay is an opportunity to regroup, re-galvanize the support we had only a month ago, and attempt another action.
The fight for marriage equality is only going to get harder as the recession deepens. It will take twice as much work to keep equality on the table. Write about the issue on your own blog, talk to your coworkers and family, write letters to the editor. It is never easy to change traditional values. Let’s not expect one or two clever ideas to do the trick.
I’m not sure why some readers give you so much guff regarding your commentaries. You are a realistic person with some great ideas. Thanks for keeping us grounded.
I live in Florida where proposition 2 passed. While I think Call in Gay Day would have been great in good economic times right now for me it would have been a personal disaster. The economy has been in a down turn in Florida all year. I have been barely able to pay my necessities such as housing, and utilities. If I would have taken a day off of work it would have hurt me more than it would have helped. I work at Chili’s a Brinker International restaurant which is one of the best companies for members of the LGBT community to work. I feel they already value me as an employee.
While I find the idea behind Day without a Gay cute and pithy it lacks serious thought and political punch to enact change. Having ribbons, sloganed days and celebrations is not effective. If it were, we’d be darlings of modern society. We need to act up. We need to be in the streets. We need to boycott any and all sponsors of Prop 8 or, in Florida’s case, Amendment 2. We need to use each and every tool at our disposal to fight what, the religious right has already started, a Cultural War.
While I know my viewpoint is not popular because it requires sacrifice, discipline and risk – all things American generally shy away from, we will not be able to effect society wide change without.
boycott sponsors of prop 8 and gay marriage opposing companies everywhere, instead. your not going to be able to get everyone to not go to work/buy things for one day.. not to mention the only way it would have any impact is to do that for a week straight.
So, are we, in fact, doing all of this just for marriage equality? Is that the only reason? ‘Cause if that’s the only reason, then I’ve been grossly misinformed.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to be able to get married to someone I’m in love with as much as the next guy or gal, but, to be honeset, folks, I’d rather not get fired for someone finding out I’m queer at work. I’d rather have protection so that someone can’t beat me up because I’m queer, or harrass me because I’m queer and get away with it than to be able to get married to the person I love.
Marriage equality is a hugely important issue, and Prop 8 ruined a lot of lives and a lot of hopes. I’m not saying that it didn’t. But all I’ve been hearing about for the past couple of weeks is Prop 8 and marriage equality.
We don’t all live in California. We don’t all live on the east coast. Sometimes it feels like folks in states where queers have had rights for a while forget about us little guys in the middle. They forget about the folks that have to hide in fear. They forget about the folks that get beaten senseless multiple times in life just for walking down the street with their significant other (I’m not saying that awful stuff doesn’t happen in Cali, look at young Mr. King and his tragedy).
Thousands of brave men and women stood up for the rights of Californians to marry who they love a few weeks ago. Some of them took their jobs and their safety in their hands to stand up for the rights of others. Are Californians going to do the same for those less fortunate than themselves?
From what it seems from the gay media lately, probly not.
Sorry for the rant, folks. I just couldn’t keep it in any longer. Much love to all my Queer brothers and sisters. Also, the straight ones.
Would you call in Jew in 1939 Germany? Most likely not. You didn’t know what was going on, but you knew an extreamily intolerant government would cast you out. It’s the same issue today. I would have been cast out. Also, there’s the “charge the hill” issue. If your commander oders everyone to charge a well guarded hill, you don’t want to be the first one out the the trench. In fact, if you stay in the trench (or closet), you can survive to tell about it. There’s also the “keep off the grass” issue. Where I agree people should keep off the grass, but I’m one of many, and if I keep off the grass, and no one else does, there’s no benefit. Also, if I walk on the grass, and no one else does, the grass will survive. (individual vs group mentality, basically)
Finally, I didn’t hear about this idea until Tuesday when I happened to log onto this site, which I don’t often do. The message was not organized. And the whole thing seemed like a cheap knockoff of “a day without a Mexican” – a plan that in my mind, backfired.
So now, just like “a day without a Mexican” (which was much better organized), the zenophobes will say, “I didn’t notice any difference, this proves they’re worthless!”
So let’s put away the medical marijuana and discuss these plans and see if they make sense before announcing to the media we’re doing something, hmm??
*To the call in gay day*
” Be careful now, don’t fall in the hole you dug yourselves.”- Hades
The statement speaks loud and clear.
What would been more effective & safe.Just make it to that.Just call to the day and state your full name & how much money you loose in a day.The the ones at the end can just add all the money number & see the reflection. How much it be, without digging A hole and falling in it, or looking like the donkeys ass.
Emma wrote: “At the end of the day, this was a truly clever idea.”
No, it wasn’t. It was a hair-brained idea from the very start, and bound to fail. It struck me as the kind of dumb idea that HRC or GLAAD would come up with.
TJ wrote: “We need to act up. We need to be in the streets. We need to boycott any and all sponsors of Prop 8 or, in Florida’s case, Amendment 2.”
NOW you’re talking! Rather than being “clever” or “cute”, we need to show we mean business by targeting some high-profile targets, whether it’s by boycotts or court action. Forget “cute” — ACT UP!
@ Sodomight and Steve: I loved your comments, too! Very well said!
I agree with several other of the writers in that we need to show our financial clout by a boycott of people, places and things that are being used to deny us our rights.
What continues to upset me as a resident of Las Veas is the numbers of gays and lesbians who will stay at the Venetian and the Palazzo, which are owned by Sheldon Adelson, a major homophobe, and a major cotributor of the Republican Party, and a major contributor of Yes on 8 in California. It’s like we’re sending this jerk money to deny us our rights!
MY PARTNER AND I OWN OUR OWN BUSINESSES AND HAD TO WORK TO MAKE A LIVING. BUT I THINK OUR IDEA HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF GETTING THE PUBLIC TO “NOTICE”US.WE ALL AGREE TO PICK A MONTH AND A DAY -SAY FEB. 14 TH – AND ALL GAY COUPLES IN THE 48 STATES THAT DONT OFFER GAY MARRIAGE-WE RENT BUSES LOADED UP WITH OUR LOVED ONES,AND FLOOD THE CITY HALLS. WE ALL APPLY FOR CIVIL MARRIAGE LICENSES. KINDA LIKE A “MARCH ON CITY HALL” CAN WE DO IT? YOU BETCHA !! SPREAD THE WORD !!!!!!IMPACT THE CITY HALLS- NOT THE CHURCHES
It was a bad idea from the beginning. For many reasons it appeared clear that it would not work. It was thought up by people in West Hollywood, as I understand it, which is not the real world. It’s failure has made us look impotent and foolish. Those that would like to lead the Gay rights movement are poor at both strategy and tactics. Look at the “No on 8 Campaign” as an example. The ads by the “Yes” were vastly more effective. I saw the same weak ad on TV from the “No” contingent over and over and it wasn’t worth the first showing. Where did all the money go?? Most gay “leaders” are neither tough nor clever. For them our donations are “income” for their “activist careers”. We need leaders who are smart, aggresive and can throw a punch.
“Tough economic times make it difficult to focus on identity politics, no matter how passionately we might feel about the rights violations in the U.S. What Day without a Gay should teach the entire LGBT community is that, despite the American economic climate, fighting for equal rights should still be priority.” I agree 100%. We cannot let gay rights and equality be held hostage to a party’s political/election agenda NOR economic cycles. You are 100% right on this.
However, the last thing we need is massive gay unemployment. While it’s been suggested that gays and lesbians are affluent, the truth is far from that. We’re no more affluent than straights and in places where we have limited or no legal protections from discrimination we’re worse off than straights, yet carry a lot of the same burdens(kids, healthcare and family).
“The fight for marriage equality is only going to get harder as the recession deepens. It will take twice as much work to keep equality on the table. Write about the issue on your own blog, talk to your coworkers and family, write letters to the editor. It is never easy to change traditional values. Let’s not expect one or two clever ideas to do the trick.”
I just don’t see the Day Without A Gay as a “clever idea”. Calling in gay in this economic climate could lead to yet another Lou Dobbs episode of 250,000 or 1,000,000 jobs lost today. Instead of shooting our own selves in the economic foot, we need to continue to boycott Mormon businesses, we need to give to groups(other than the HRC) which are really working to fight for equality.
Ruby, you are 100% right on the facts and the needs before us, yet I disagree with your concept of how to go about fighting it. As always I can be wrong, I am not perfect, and if an idea I don’t like can work, then so be it. But not only do I not like the idea, it has been proven not to work. You can’t even get three homosexuals in a group to agree on a single subject, what makes you or anyone believe we can organize a nation-wide day without a gay protest?
“Calling in Gay” is a passive aggressive action that is counterproductive to the core. What is needed is that gay people go to work, do a good job, and enlist their help and support of their straight friends. If Proposition 8 taught us anything, it is that need the votes of straight people. Antagonizing them at work is not a good plan for gaining their support at the polls.