March 19th, 2010
 

365Gay Agenda Blog

Duffy: Should gay soldiers be segregated?

By Michael Duffy, 365gay blogger 06.16.2009 7:00am EDT
Culture & Ideas

I was looking through the “Stripes” website to see if there were any recent stories on gays.  Stripes is the online version of the free newspaper, Stars & Stripes, that soldiers have access to in their various locals.  I didn’t find any new stories, but  I did find editorials stretching back a few months. 

I don’t know if these interested parties are gay or straight, but it seems like the majority of these soldiers are defending and promoting the repeal of DADT and acceptance of gays. 

 I was very comforted by seeing soldiers standing up for other gay and lesbian soldiers like me. 

Not all the opinions were positive; one negative commentary, “Problem with gays”, echoes a concern I read in copmments on my other posts.  If DADT is repealed how do we segregate those uncontrollable gays?  It is obvious to these writers that open gay and lesbian soldiers can’t be permitted to use the same facilities as heterosexuals or work in professions that might permit them to see same-sex genitialia. 

I can’t imagine what it would be like for those heterosexual soldiers.  They would have to look over their shoulder constantly to make sure no perverse homosexual was lurking in the shadows waiting for them to undress.  Truth be told, though, they should start looking over their shoulders now.  I have seen plenty of naked male soldiers throughout my military career- some extremely good looking- and they have all survived unscathed.

I have written previously that other men in my original unit know about me.  I have showered with them numerous times without any issues.  I have wondered what they thought about it, but have honestly never asked them.  Maybe I don’t want them to think about it.  I have even had one male soldier who asked me about his endowment, apparently because he was somewhat proud of it.  I am pretty sure I insulted him with my answer.

When I go to the showers here, they are individual stalls.  I get dressed and undressed in the stall with the curtain closed to protect my own privacy, something many do. 

I have been to plenty of places where this isn’t available and there is just an open room with shower heads lining the wall.  When that’s the case, I go into a dressing area, strip down and head into the shower.  I am not thinking sexual thoughts.  I am not even facing the other men.  I am in there to take a shower.  I admit to seeing attractive men, but I have never gotten sexually excited in a shower.  This is a respect and self-control issue that is needed for gays and lesbians to serve but I don’t think is found in the heterosexual population. 

They haven’t been forced to learn that virtue.

Heterosexual men get caught staring at women all the time.  My soldiers here are constantly – CONSTANTLY, to the point it’s annoying – picking women apart who are walking around.  Most of these women accept and ignore this attention, but what would it be like if these same men walked into their shower?  If the women and men were straight, they might find one another attractive, but could they control themselves and respect each other enough to take a shower and just leave? 

In a military environment where discipline and self control are paramount, unisex facilities should be possible.  Gays, lesbians, men and women should all be able to get naked together without an incident. 

I am reminded of a scene in “Starship Troopers” where there is a unisex shower scene.  I understand that it was just a movie, but the attitude expressed by the ‘troopers’ was exactly what I would expect it should be in this day and age.   The characters talked and joked around, but nothing was of a sexual nature- just as you might find in an all-male or all-female shower.  Soldiers are professionals and should be able to handle a little bit of nudity. 

Finally, if your profession requires that you see sexual genitalia or other features of a body that might be attractive to you, that’s the way it is.  Doctors see naked people all the time.  There are whole specializations based only on reproductive health, and even improving your attractiveness through augmentation and other plastic surgery.  If it’s a heterosexual or homosexuals job that requires them to invade your privacy, you should be more concerned more that they are professionally competent than whether or not they find you attractive. 

In the end, I would rather be attractive to anybody, gay or straight, than be unattractive to everybody.  Be flattered and get over it.  If you’re unattractive then don’t be paranoid, no one is looking at you.


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  • Michael Duffy Said: June 17th, 2009 at 10:15 am
    • Certainly a lot of opinions on this matter. Some other issues with repealing DADT: States with marriage> how will the military take care of the same-sex spouses? They are so for taking care of the family but with DOMA how can the federal government take care of a same-sex couple? That’s just looking out for the family- now what about benefits? Repealing DADT would lead to challenges of DOMA by military personnel. How can you say no to Joe?

  • A Studz Dream Said: June 17th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
    • Ha ha ha. I love that last line.

      I am lesbian in the military and I have been in many situations where women are naked around me. I’m medical and I see nudity often. I’ve never thought of my coworkers in a sexual sense. If you’re not a lesbian, you’re not thought of lustfully at all to me. When I have an obvious lesbian that I am around and there’s a spark or an attraction, then we talk (just as heterosexuals do), make arrangements for a date if we like each other (just as heterosexuals do), and have fun… chill, relax, enjoy each other’s company (just as heterosexuals do). The one thing I can say about gays and lesbians is that there is only a 1% chance of getting raped or physically violated with same-sex offender in the military, compared to the 28% chance of that happening in the military with heterosexuals. Gays and lesbians rarely act inappropriately at work and rarely ever sexually harass other individuals in the workplace. So I’m not really sure what the problem is of having us around. If anything, we’re the safest option.

  • R & R Said: June 17th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
    • I’m still waiting for someone, ANYONE, to tell me what the problems associated with gays openly serving in the US military are that neither Canada, England, France, Israel, and many others with gays openly serving in their military have not experienced.

      Has anyone challenged the military minds to answer that question? I don’t think it will reguire a college degree. In fact, I think you could be a high school dropout and still be able to provide an answer.

      Does anyone have a clue? A little clue?

      Maybe you have to have a crypto clearance to get the answer?

  • Dylan Liebenow Said: June 17th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
    • Hey, I am right on the same page with you even though I am not military. As a gay firefighter/EMT I have one of those jobs that sometimes requires me to see the genitals of patents and there is no time to really think sexually. As fare as showering you are right people just need to grow up because if high school students can shower together so can military professionals.

  • Skip Said: June 17th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
    • ya i am one who is over “they are risking their lives” blah blah blah bullcrap… most people i know that joined the military were about as dumb as a bunch of door knobs, couldn’t pass a college entrance test, and had no direction.

      However, I am glad we have a decent military in general, but this over praising a bunch of ingnorant, selfish and some pre madonnas that think Gay guys want them all is way over done!

      Its a job. We ALL take risks and put up with shit in our jobs, if they don’t like it then they should be in another job. It’s amazing how they are so “tough” but can’t get over fact that a gay or lesbian person may be in the showers at the same time they are? sounds like a bunch of wimps to me!

  • Patrick (gryph) Said: June 17th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
    • I don’t think the issue of showers should be dignified with an answer really. Its ridiculous.

  • Sean, Seattle Said: June 18th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
    • Gays and straights in the military are showering together now. I have yet to hear of any problems.

      I have heard of many women being harrassed and raped by men in the military. And they don’t shower together. To me, that is a more important issue that has been swept under the rug.

      Soldiers are eating, sleeping, working and yes showering with gay people already. As with all discrimination, this issue is based on fear and ignorance.

  • Boon Said: June 18th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
    • Gays should not join the military. Any country that treats you as a second class citizen does not deserve your energy or time.

      I did join but I was subject to the draft otherwise I would not have. They threw me out anyway for being gay.

  • magdelyn Said: June 30th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
    • So basically the argument is that gay guys have a right to shower with straight dude?

      I mean really. It’s not like there is a whole genre of gay porn based upon the military (the Marine Corps in particular for some reason), or showers, or bathroom sex. Those large holes somebody cared out of the beautiful marble stall walls at Berkeley, when I was there, did it for venilation, not sex. No reason to fear, straight dudes. Gay activisits in San Franisco didn’t really mean it when they tried to keep the bathhouses open during the early stages of the AIDS epidemic or anything.

      Gimme a break.

  • medic Said: July 9th, 2009 at 12:13 am
    • I totally agree with this… for the last 9 months i have been in training and have been living in bays with open showers, and i have never gotten aroused in the shower. I am a medic and in the course of my job i may have to look at male genetalia, but the only times will be when I am more worried about saving their lives over what their penis looks like. I came out to a few people in my company and alot of the others suspected. The males that know didnt really care… And as for being touched by someone in the shower, I was more worried about the other guys slapping me on the ass, than they had to worry about me… Sgregation anywhere in the United States should not be allowed. If I am not mistaken we already went through this with the African American community

  • Paul Mitchell Said: July 9th, 2009 at 1:47 am
    • I AM 100 PERCENT AGAINST SEGREGATION!!!!

      Whats next????

      one toilet for gays, one toilet for straights???

      one House for straights, other houses for gays???

      a bubbler or gays, another for straights.

      marriage for straights, civil unions for gays (already have that).

      schools for straights, another for gays.

      When will it end????

 
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