Subscribe to Breaking NewsDaigle: The 18,000
Proposition 8 stands.
It wasn’t unexpected, but the news still stung.
If I lived in a part of the country where protests and rallies were being held today, I’d probably find myself at one of them.
There’s anger. There’s disappointment. There’s frustration. It’d be nice to share it with a few thousand other people feeling angry, disappointed and frustrated, too.
I keep thinking, though, about the 18,000 couples who got good news today. Their marriages weren’t erased. Their families are still intact. The life they woke up to this morning will be the same life they take to bed with them tonight, and I think that’s a solace on a day like today. I think that’s a reason to celebrate.
I don’t begrudge anyone their anger today. While I tend to demure from it, I think there’s something cathartic about lashing out on day like today with a little directionless anger. Some of the responses to the ruling I’ve read online seemed to unpack the frustration of our whole struggle into this one single opinion, and while it’s not constructive, I can appreciate its comfort. So be angry today, if you feel as though you must. Rage against this with others who share your anger and find some satisfaction in the camaraderie of outrage.
(tangential thought on anger today: Our anger can’t supersede our reason. While it might feel good to punch Maggie Gallagher in the face, it won’t necessarily further our cause. I’m not advocating punching Maggie Gallagher anywhere, mind you. Or anyone else, for that matter. It was just a random example. I just hope our anger becomes an informed anger, a respectful anger, one that blossoms into activism and advocacy. Not a bruised eye, a spray-painted wall, or unnecessarily hateful language directed at anyone.)
But don’t forget about those 18,000 couples.
When our anger subsides, and our lives return to normal, we will have 18,000 couples in California who are living examples of the power and benefit of marriage equality. And if we know what’s best for us, we are going to throw every ounce of resolve and determination behind those 18,000 couples and make sure every Californian (hell, every American while we’re at it) sees, in their faces, what marriage equality truly means and and looks like: loving and productive couples, loving and productive families, loving and productive people that make our communities better.
Today is a setback, not a defeat. When you doubt that, remember those 18,000 couples. And the couples in Massachusetts, in Connecticut, in Iowa, in Maine. We have proof that marriage equality doesn’t bring down the whole of Western Civilization. And we’ll have that proof tomorrow and every day after that.
Anger today. Activism tomorrow.
And to the 18,000 couples in California, congratulations. May your marriages last forever. They endured today. They can endure anything.
Once again…Cody…right ON!
Dr. Peter
My wife and I were married July 3rd in West Hollywood Park. We’re still married … and I know in my soul that we will ALL have that right soon. Keep fighting!
I think that all the gay couples should protest about how our community is torn apart between the 18,000 which I am happy for,and the rest of us.It is like the unjust parent giving one child the candy and not the other.
I for one think that it may possibly have been in our best interests if because it was not ruled unconstitutional in Ca like it should have been, then maybe it could go to the US Supreme Court to be thrown out nationwide!
Let me make myself perfectly clear, I advocate any and all means of civil disobedience up to and including acts of violence against those who brought Prop 8 to pass. The Mormon Church, their property, homes and temples are open season. Likewise with those who signed the petition to have Prop 8 on the ballot, those that gave money and those that voted for it. We have the legal and moral right to use any means necessary to resist this legislative terrorism.
Now for those of you who prefer using more peaceful means, instead of lecturing everyone about how we should kiss our enemies’ asses. Y’all should be getting to work on two fronts, one, there is a petition being circulated by Yes on Equality, California residents only, to get a ballot initiative on the ballot in that state to overturn Prop 8. Secondly, Prop 8 needs to be challenged in federal court. We have a strong precedent in Romer vs Evans(link below) which could eliminate Prop 8, but also virtually every anti-gay Amendment passed in the rest of the states. Those of you who object to violence, instead of lecturing, do something solution oriented and stay out of the way.
Also, while this a LONG SHOT, especially in the United States, where International Law is rarely if ever respected, there is a strong case that Prop 8 and Amendments like it violate the United Nations Charter of Rights, particularly Article 30.
Universal Declaration of Human Rights-Déclaration universelle des droits de l’homme
Article 1.
All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.
Article 2.
Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. Furthermore, no distinction shall be made on the basis of the political, jurisdictional or international status of the country or territory to which a person belongs, whether it be independent, trust, non-self-governing or under any other limitation of sovereignty.
Article 6.
Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law.
Article 7.
All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination.
Article 8.
Everyone has the right to an effective remedy by the competent national tribunals for acts violating the fundamental rights granted him by the constitution or by law.
Article 10.
Everyone is entitled in full equality to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal, in the determination of his rights and obligations and of any criminal charge against him.
Article 12.
No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.
Article 16.
(1) Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.
(2) Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses.
(3) The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.
Article 28.
Everyone is entitled to a social and international order in which the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration can be fully realized.
Article 30.
or to perform any act aimed at the destruction of any of the rights and freedoms set forth herein. (This Article explains why Prop 8 is clearly illegal, and it makes it clear that noone has the right to vote away the rights of another).
Nothing in this Declaration may be interpreted as implying for any State(ie California), group(voters, Christians, etc) or person any right to engage in any activity(Prop
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romer_v._Evans (Court case which invalidated Colorado Amendment 2 in the early 90s)
yep, we are all “in the same boat” even the places where we THINK marriage Equality has rooted itself, is still in danger!
look at Maine for example….
and what in the hell is going on with New Hampshire?
wherever you all are from, most of you are probably better off then us LGBT lot here in the hateful, right wing, christian taliban ruled south!
To the 18,000 — Even if you feel conflicted about today, and you can’t be happy about today, you’re still a group the rest of us can look to with pride and hope.
Those 18,000 are key to getting H8 overturned. Remember the fear campaign (churches will lose their exemptions, parents won’t be able to control what their kids are taught, etc?)? Now, whether it’s in 2 or 4 years, we’ll have proof positive that it was all bullshit. That doesn’t mean we’ll convince a HUGE number of people who voted for H8, but we don’t need that many in the grand scheme of things to change!
I am one of those 18,000 couples married before Prop. 8. I live in New York. While it is a relief to know that our marriage is still valid and legal (recognized in Califronia and in New York as well) and we do not have to go to another state to marry again (though I would do it as many times as is necessary).
I take little comfort in that fact knowing that a promise that was made to the Gay and Lesbian community of California has been taken away and that a cruel and hateful decision was upheld today.
Clearly something must be done on the federal level. Leaving things in the hands of the individual states only leads to this sort of hateful confusing nonsense.
I was married in California, so I was legally married there (still am), flew from there straight to Texas to share our joy with my mother-in-law (oops not married legally in Texas though) and then back home to New York where suddenly — We are legally married again. This is hardly equality. It’s you have equal rights … sometimes or unless we change our minds. Sad very sad day for California and all of us.
Yah, LMAO!! Your marriages aren’t erased…yet. Just wait though, the bigots will be back with yet another f*ckin’ referendum and guess who’s rights are going to go next? Yup, 18,000 marriage certificates that you can now use for wallpaper. The CSC has now shown the world that NO ONE’S rights are safe folks.
After reading your article and being another one of the 18,000 couples AND being from Nevada where our cheating Gov. just vetoed our chance at equal rights here I am so saddened my heart is heavy. Our marriages may not have been erased but they have gutted hollowed out by a decision that makes us an isolated group. It hurts so bad when I think why? Why uphold our marriage while denying everyone else? And what meaning does this pretty piece of paper have? I feel that the CA. supreme court has just quarantined my spouse and I. I don’t want congratulations I want everyone to have what I have. I feel like sending our certificate back to CA. and asking for a refund or atleast a rain check till they either give equal rights to all or deny us all! I have felt anger before as a former activist and I can tell you that is the last emotion I am feeling right now. I feel deep sadness despair even for my GLBT brothers and sisters who now have to wait for how long to enjoy what we enjoyed last June 27 our first wedding anniversary which now to me will be a day of mourning for us till the rest of our family is given back the rights we were exempted! WE don’t want to be the exception to the rule! On our wedding day we so enjoyed watching the many other couples ceremonies before and after our! I want to see this again!! This is just so emotionally isolating and I hate it! Thanks CA. supreme court for making my marriage a dark victory!
I am a very sad “limited edition” couple. Even though I am married, there is still a fight ahead. United we stand, divided we fall.
As one of the 18,000 couples, we find no reason to celebrate. Until everyone has equality, We are not satisfied. In fact, we feel separate and it feels creepy.
My husband and I are one of those 18,000 couples that were wed in California. West Hollywood on June 17th, after a 7 hour drive from Mesa, Arizona. We were the 8th couple in line and the first couple from Arizona to be wed that morning. The memory is still so fresh in our minds, bringing a smile to our faces when we remember all the new friends we made while sitting in line from 3am. All anticipating the greatest day of our lives. Yet,we carry todays decision with both the joy of still being “Husband & Husband” but a heavy heart for those Californians that can not hold that piece of paper proving to the world that marriage is of the heart and that there is no equality for the rest of my extended “FAMILY”. We want every HUMAN BEING to be able to love and share the rest of my life with whom they choose and have the same right provided to other HUMAN BEINGS. Key words here are Human Being, no gender, no race, no religion…
James, I will always love you and thank you for saying yes on June 16th. All my LOVE-Adrian
We don’t know that those 18,000 couples that were married in Cali. are actually from and live there! They could be some that went there but live in Kansas or even in Louisiana (which still means they basically hold blank pieces of paper!)
This obviously can NOT be left up to the states as so many in the past has said it should be, the states should not be in the Marriage business.
However, the Government should be in the business of making sure all of its citizens have EQUAL protection under the Constitution!
Furthermore, you stated that if there were protests in your area of the country well you ever thought about starting one? You and few of your friends can go to the Lafayette courthouse or in front of your Church (tell them to stay out of the state’s issues) you can go to the Gay Bar of Lafayette and tell the drunk Queens to get out and fight for their rights instead of wasting it, there is a whole bunch things you can do. But don’t make excuses because you live in Looziana!