Subscribe to Breaking NewsDaigle: Obama and the Theory of Berthas
President Obama is a Bertha.
Let me explain. One of my friends in college was a fabulous gay man named Eric, and Eric hailed from a very small town in south Louisiana called Welsh. There isn’t much to do in Welsh on weekends other than drink beer, go to the high school football game and cruise up and down the city’s main street in your pickup, so Eric got the hell out of there as soon as he was handed his high school diploma.
Eric and I ended up in the theatre program at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette together, and while he and I were never close friends, we shared a couple of acting classes and did a few scenes together. And during one rehearsal, Eric shared with me his theory of Berthas.
“Berthas,” as Eric told it, were the Welsh ladies of class (insofar as you can be a lady of class in Welsh, Louisiana), and they were striking not only for their pretension but for another feature: the ability to charm the pants off you in one breath and slice your heart out with a butter knife the second your back was turned.
“It’s why I want to get the hell out of Louisiana,” Eric said. “You never know where the Berthas are, and, hell, around here they’re probably all Berthas.”
I never placed much stock in Eric’s Theory of Berthas (Eric was also prone to running into class in the morning, grabbing his curly blond hair and shrieking, “God must be a homophobe, because you’d have to hate fags to give one hair like this!”), but while reading the statement President Obama released today in honor of LGBT Pride, I got the sinking feeling that Eric was not only right about Berthas, but that we’d also elected one President.
The statement, while nicely phrased and brimming with the kind of hope-inspiring language you’d expect from our eloquent Chief (didn’t you love the mention of our “great and lasting contributions that continue to strengthen the fabric of American society?” Oh, yeah? What are they, while we’re at it? Can you list them? I like vague platitudes as much as the next guy, but I’ve also got this thing for specifics that hounds me.), fails to give us anything more concrete than the vague and formless campaign promises we’ve been hearing for the past year.
Obama “supports measures.” Obama has “joined efforts.” Obama believes we need to “commit ourselves” to things and “work together.”
What a Bertha.
According to the Theory of Berthas, a Bertha is skilled at giving people a sense of camaraderie, of support, of solidarity. Berthas excel at sounding committed to the things that matter to you but never giving any concrete ways in which their help will manifest. Berthas smile and receive respect from those around them for doing nothing but talking about what a good person they are – not actually doing anything.
And then, when your back is turned, they actively work against you and talk about how badly you dress.
While our Executive Bertha might not be sighing our wardrobes, he’s certainly fulfilling the Bertha profile. Expertly. And it’s our responsibility as a community to expect and demand more.
Obama’s statement called for the “promise of equality” to be fulfilled for LGBT people, but nothing he’s done since he’s entered office has moved us closer to that goal. DADT is still here. DOMA is still here. He was silent on marriage equality victories. He was silent on Prop. 8. He continues to hedge his bets with the marriage issue and supports civil unions. He touts the appointment of gay candidates to Senate-appointed positions as his big gay rights victory.
It’s nice. But it’s not enough. It’s not even in the ballpark.
So, what do you do with a Bertha? This is Eric’s solution.
“Here’s what I do,” Eric said. “Berthas thrive on polite, they live for it, they eat it for breakfast, they can’t do anything without it. So when I know someone’s a Bertha, I stop being polite, and I call it what it is.”
Eric may not have known what to do about his hair, but he was on the right track here. We’ve been patient. We’ve been polite. And all we’ve gotten is statements.
We deserve more. It’s time to call it what it is.
Cody Daigle is an entertainment writer for the Times of Acadiana and blogs about gay issues for theadvertiser.com in Lafayette, Louisiana.
Thanks for the article. I was getting my hopes up after reading the “Obama letter”, but realized it is just a poof of air, he’s blowing out his butt. I’d never turn my back on the Prez, but I do believe “we, the gay community” have to demand our rights. In the Constitution, or what I’ve heard, is “all men are created equal.”. If that is so true, then why have the African Americans have to fight for equality?. Why do any ethnicity have to fight for their rights? Gays are the lowest to the ground, and I guess we have to crawl on our bellies to get around. Now it’s our time to fight for equality, even though, every man is created equal. Let’s fight, with boycotts,sit-ins,non violent struggles. It’s going to take a shit load of us to do this, so we need to make our stand. Anyone, know how to do this? Because until we show “our numbers”, we will be shrugged off, like a fever blister.
I can appreciate how frustrating many GLBT people are about the slow pace of change taking place around our issues in DC. It frustrates me too.
But Obama hasn’t even been in office for six months, and it’s not like he hasn’t been busy during that time. Working on the economy, healthcare, global warming, restoring America’s image around the world, etc. As much as I’d like him to help the 600+ gay people who get kicked out of the military each year, I DO NOT want him to blow all of his political capital on that one issue. Clinton did that in 1993 and he never recovered his momentum.
I know it sucks, but the GLBT community needs to be practical, calm down, and wait. Wait for the bigger issues that Obama is working on for ALL Americans get resolved. Wait for his popularity as a working President to be stabilized. And wait probably more than a year before this guy who says he supports us to actually spend some of his limited political capital on us. I really have no doubts about Obama’s sincerity or commitment to our equality–he proved it as a Senator when he voted in favor of every GLBT rights bill. He will prove it again as President.
We just need to keep the big picture of politics in mind.
I’m getting anxious about President Obama’s gay rights feelings.
Nice piece. At least someone is telling it like it is here.
So he issued a statement for pride month… where will he be for DC pride? Will he get another haircut like for Chicago pride and turn his back to publicly supporting anything pro-gay? Besides of course inviting us to be gay sambos for the easter egg roll.
I love the way abqkevin is telling everyone we have to wait for Obama on gay rights (never mind glbt rights, i guess it is assumed – whatever – )
The problem is, there will always be more issues more pressing to Obama than glbt issues, that is because Obama really doesn’t have any emotional connection to glbt people. He is an arrogant intellect who has never had to deal with glbt people and he will continue to consider us as a special little interest group that is somewhere at the deep corner of his mind.
You know, I’m not going to be popular for what I’m about to write, but while I understand everyone’s frustration I’m really sick of everyone complaining about Obama not pushing all our rights first thing. This proclamation isn’t going to change anything major, but it does count for something. Obama isn’t our savior. He isn’t going to make everything better. He is leagues better than Bush, and for that matter a great deal better than McCain would have been for our rights. That’s all he is, and all he was ever going to be. He doesn’t specifically owe us anything. He is a politician, and is balancing his load, and choosing where to spend his political capital very carefully. That’s what he is and what he always was, and anyone who expected something else from anyone politically savvy enough to win a presidential election is more than a touch naive.
We should keep pushing our rights, at the state and federal level, and we should push the president. However, name calling isn’t helping anyone. It doesn’t help convince him to work harder, it doesn’t endear anyone to our cause, and quite honestly it makes us look like a bunch of boobs for donating tons of money to his campaign and not knowing what we were getting into.
He signed an international commitment to decriminalizing homosexuality that Bush wouldn’t touch, and prevented a huge historic black eye for the U.S. He will sign the ENDA and the Matthew Shepherd bill if they hit his desk, which I suspect they will. Right there we have a better situation than our other political options, and in the American system that’s all we can hope for. The rest is icing.
Don’t necessarily cut the man slack, but keep it civil.
What I though was missing in his proclaimation, was we’re accountants, lawyers and others who strengthen out nation, are we also the soldiers who defend our country? And are discharged for being honest? What a BERTHA !
Hello! Look at the church that brainwashed him into Christianity. I can’t imagine a fair minded person listening to all that hate speach and not getting up and leaving…much less being converted.
Why are we surprised?
I love your article, and I think you’ve got the right idea. But I can’t help feeling hesitant to criticize just yet… maybe it’s because, despite how unimpressive he has been on these issues so far, he is exponentially more impressive than previous presidents. It’s all relative, I guess. That doesn’t make it right, of course.
I’m going to be patient for now. But, I want to see some changes during the second year of Obama’s term.
So Obama is now trying to cut lgbt people’s heart’s out with butter knives?
Thanks for wasting my time.
I’m sorry but are any of you really surprised Obama didn’t live up to his promises, he promised way too much and he had to focus on the big things, which doesn’t include gay marriage in his book or most people’s book for that matter. I’m pissed off but I’m not surprised.
I’ll be damned the day I see BERTHA-politicians putting human rights issues over profits and economical issues that drive the reality of a nation anywhere in the globe! When it comes to those who are elected to legislate for LGBT rights in offices talk is getting old. Understanding people’s frustration about it is one thing, standing up for them like the mayor of San Francisco does is another. Time is of essence and for those who think it is too early to have any decision on this urgent issue, think of the taxes you pay, the obligsations you have as citizen and the fairness about being treated as a second-class citzen in this country. It is just sad that we, as society, put the rights of others in the back burner when they should be put in the front one. With Berthas or no-Berthas politics will always be polics and that is a sad reality that will likely not change for now.
Spot on!
Obama seems to be full of promises and then falls *wicked* short on delivery. A proclamation? Please, honey. How about a proclamation that we’re all free?
Obama says he’s waiting for the ‘right time’ to repeal DADT. When exactly is that, again? It doesn’t seem to be on my calendar at the moment.
And, why is it our Bertha President can’t see the parallels between the inter-racial marriage discussions that went on not all that long ago, and the discussions of the day, and put a stop to what he *has* to know is wrong?
Slavery^H^H^H^H^H^H^H gay rights is a state issue, according to him. Wonder how MLK would feel about that statement.
-c
I can’t believe anyone is surprised. This is EXACTLY what he did during the campaign and primary, but everyone was too in a “I’m a 12 year old girl at a Jonas Brothers Concert” to be really paying attention to actions. Silver Tongued is what it used to be called. He’s always been short on essence.
Better than Bush? My 4 year old niece would have been better. This is the standard we hold our president to? Really? We don’t owe him “time” or anything else. He’s a politician elected to support ALL Americans, not a god. If we fail to hold him to his word we are no better than those who refused to see Bush’s mistakes. 3 years from now we’ll still be making excuses….. He’s got so much to do, it’s only his first term, he’s dealing with the Middle East…he had eggs for breakfast… he’s still better than Bush…..
As for political capital, Bill Clinton tried to do the right thing almost 20 (!!!) years ago. Stop and think of all the changes that have happened since then. We have ** Marriage** in 6 states, Republicans are running scared pushing for Civil Unions, back then people still didn’t even say the word gay. Comparing Obama’s term with Clintons on this issue is the biggest cop out of all. Make him keep the promises he made and stop making excuses. Stop campaigning, he WON, now make him do his job. That’s OUR job as Americans, Democrat and Republican. So he’s a democrat, so you voted for him, so what! He’s not the messiah, he’s a politician.