Comments on: Daigle: An American Question

By: Drewski

Drewski — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 23:54:32 +0000

You’re right about this time of change. The truth is that the wingnuts know they’ve lost. They know that 40 years from now, small-town America won’t take issue with gays getting married. It’ll just be another wedding, that’s all. There’ll be trashy gay couples in trailer parks, broke gays trying to scrape up money to avoid eviction, prosperous gays using their wealth and influence for philanthropic interests. Gays leading churches. Gay school principals who tolerate neither gay-bashing nor gay as an excuse for poor performance or behavior. Gay Olympic athletes, gay football players, gay news anchors, gay Senators, gay people being themselves.

I may be wrong, and my perspective is kinda skewed from living in an extremely racist city (racist in almost every direction, not just stereotypical white-hates-black), but I like it when I turn on the TV and see a Walmart commercial with an interracial couple. I hate Walmart and will do without before I cross its threshold, but I like the fact that even Walmart sees value in American diversity. No way in hell would they have dared make that ad 25 years ago. Back then, you’d have to look to Benetton to be that progressive. 15 years ago it’d be Ikea. There is progress on racial stuff, as there has been on women taking their rightful place. We gays will follow suit and it’ll be a normal, natural thing. It won’t all happen at once, and truth is that gay white men will probably have an easier time than gay black men, or any gay women. But still we’ll be woven into our culture. I think that’s all we really want–to be part of the whole while still being ourselves. The same rights, the same responsibilities, the same access as anybody else. As that happens, the gay ghettoes will wane and maybe even disappear. (This has already started in Toronto, where the gay village has become all but irrelevant in daily life–the major battles have been fought and won.)

By: jessmartin

jessmartin — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 12:13:57 +0000

I really enjoyed reading your piece because I feel as though you make a very strong point about what we really are fighting for.

I think that there are many misconceptions as to what our fight is about. What we really need to do, like you have suggested, is make our differences irrelevant. By doing that, then generations yet to come will be able to grow up not thinking that being gay is being different and will know that being gay can just be another aspect of life.

By: jimangone

jimangone — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 15:00:47 +0000

Cody, your writing is so different, so interesting to read and so, on the point.
I have always found that being Gay in America was a constant quest for anonimity (at least for me). Anonimity meant I wouldnt stand out and be identified as Gay. it was an important part of my survival strategy in order to progress in my career. Then when I retired from the workplace, tht didnt matter anymore and I became actively involved in prmoting civil rights for Gay Americans, especially Federal civil rights. But your article reminded me that what we really seek is to one day, blend in and be harmonious with society around us or as you say to be irrelevant.

i would love to think that my life as a Gay American is irrelevant to the rest of society. I dont want to be seperate but equal I want to be irrelevant (and equal).

By: DaveW

DaveW — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 21:09:58 +0000

Cody, I like the end of your piece the best. “the harmonies are more important than the dissonances”. Right on.

Why is it that I can accept straight people, fat people, ugly people, hot people, religious people (bit of a struggle but yes accept) and even ignorant people.

I even accept people that put vinyl siding on their homes.

why is it that none of these people threaten me, but we are seen as threatening to so many people.

I’ll be honest: I do not tolerate religious people because they fund the hate machine. I know, there are “good” churches out there……but I really don’t tolerate the fact that people go to church, put money in the plate that is used to buy hate-ads and say they have gay friends and disagree with their church leadership.

But I digress….absent that ignorant funding of hate, I would tolerate everyone. I might complain (privately of course) about certain groups, like the dirt bikers that ruin the trails in our state forest, but as humans I still accept them and want them to have the same rights I do.

I just won’t understand why one group of society thinks it is ok to single us out for discrimination. It leads seemingly good people to go along because of the fear tactics used and it shows a level of insecurity that rises to the absurd.

Maybe it’s genetic. I believe I’m wired to accept the diverse world, maybe they are not.

I doubt it, though. More likely has something to do with parents and preachers, unfortunately.

Keep up the good work, you are making some good points on here.

By: Larrie King

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:32:28 +0000

I agree with everything you have stated here. I sometimes feel that people expect me to preface my nationality with “A Black Gay”…it’s ridiculous. Pride doesn’t have to display itself in a feather boa naked in the street. It comes from within. When our community can accept that pride and use it the right way, our voice will be unstoppable.