Subscribe to Breaking NewsDaigle: A Prayer for Prop. 8
On Tuesday the California Supreme Court will deliver its ruling on the validity of Prop. 8 and by extension, the validity of existing same-sex marriages in California.
So, until Tuesday, there are a few things I’m praying for.
I pray for justice. I pray that the ruling we’re greeting with on Tuesday has justice at its heart, even if it’s not the justice we hoped for. I pray the Court spent their time laboring over this decision. I hope it kept them up at night, for countless nights. I hope the gravity and importance of this choice weighed heavily on their hearts and minds and, most of all, their consciences. I hope the ruling we’re greeted with on Tuesday arrives covered in the sweat of the earnest and thoughtful pursuit of justice. We deserve nothing less. And if Prop. 8 remains, I pray that they have a damn good reason for allowing it to remain, a reason that offers us instruction on how to proceed, on how to reverse this unexpected and unwanted stumble on the road to equality. I pray that if we are forced to fight this fight again (and we will fight this, and we will win, because justice is ultimately on our side), Tuesday’s ruling makes us wiser, stronger fighters.
I pray for patience. If Prop. 8 disappears into oblivion on Tuesday, I pray that we have patience with those who will lash out at us. And they will, of course. They’ll haul out every vicious, ugly, scathing lie they have tucked away in their pockets about our relationships, our families and our lives. They’ll sling their mud and they’ll grab their Bibles and they’ll raise ten kinds of Hell. But for every lie that’s spread by the Dobsons and the Buchanans and the Maggie Gallaghers of this world, I pray we have the patience to counter the lies with dignity and reserve and integrity. If we win on Tuesday, I pray our voices are only raised in celebration – not in self-importance, condescension or arrogance. If we lose on Tuesday, if Prop. 8 survives, I pray that we have the patience not to turn into the Dobsons and the Buchanans and the Maggie Gallaghers. I pray that we don’t lash out in anger and hurt. I pray we weather the moment with dignity. The truth will prevail, and if it doesn’t prevail on Tuesday, it will still, one day (and one day soon, I believe) prevail. And our patience will be rewarded.
I pray for the couples in California. I pray that their marriages are saved. I can’t imagine what these weeks and months have been like, wondering if the day will come when the person sitting across the breakfast table from you is suddenly not your husband or wife. I pray those couples never find out what that feels like. We should all be grateful that these couples have endured, because they’ve stood as living examples of what we’re fighting for. They made a promise many of us are eager to make, and they’ve lived that promise even when voters in California decided they had no right to. They’ve earned their marriages. I pray they get to keep them.
I pray for anger. If Prop. 8 stands, if marriages are dissolved, I hope our hearts are filled with the most righteous anger imaginable. It was same anger we felt when Prop. 8 passed, the anger that fueled many of us to raise our voices for the first time, the anger that propelled us out of our homes and into the streets. I pray that anger finds us again. Our lives depend on it.
I pray for resolve. No matter what happens on Tuesday, the work doesn’t end. There will time to celebrate a victory or mourn a loss, but the work waits, and our opponents aren’t going to rest. We shouldn’t either. I pray that Tuesday gives birth to new activists for our cause, that voices ring out from every unexpected corner of the country, that equality is demanded. Yes, there’s marriage, but there’s also HIV/AIDS, DADT, employment discrimination, housing discrimination, protection for LGBT students, security for LGBT elderly – countless ways in which our lives are compromised because of who we love. Complacency is easy, resolve is not. We need the latter. Tuesday is reminder of just how much we need it. I pray we find it until equality arrives for all of us.
Finally, I pray for marriage. I pray for what marriage is beyond the politics and the rhetoric and the rulings. Gay marriage isn’t an idea or a movement – but a reality of the way a minority of Americans lives their lives. It’s the commitment I make to my partner every single day, the compromises we make, the sacrifices we make, the space we build to house our dreams and expectations for each other. That’s what we’re fighting for. I pray we not only fight for it, but live it. Even in the parts of the country where marriage isn’t a reality. We know the truth of our relationships, and if we live that truth, without shame or reservation, history will catch up to us in time.
A prayer may seem insignificant. But something happens when desire becomes request. When what you want becomes what you ask for, change comes. We know what we want. We know what we deserve.
Ask (and act, most importantly of all, act!) and we shall receive.
Cody Daigle is an entertainment writer for The Times of Acadiana and a blogger on gay issues at theadvertiser.com in Lafayette, Louisiana.
Steve (not Steve Reid), if marriage is so sacred, then outlaw divorce, outlaw all the governmental advantages that it bestows, make adultery a capitol crime again, then you can talk of reserving it for you oh-so-special heterosexuals, otherwise it’s just one group of people trying to keep another group subordinate.
Look at your statement “What about our right to reserve the title of “Married” for men and women that have placed such a high significant value on that value of “Marriage” that we have taught it to our children”. Please show me a legal basis, not an emotional or religious one, to reserve marriage to you and those you approve of and I’ll defer to your wishes.
Support like yours we can do without.
If your question is truely one of prayer then consider this. If God writes in his word that he considers “other than hetrosexual” relationships wrong. Then what makes you believe that if you pray to him for this to be overturned wouldn’t he then be contradicting his word? The God I serve and pray to does not contradict himself and will not honor the prayers, yours mine or anybody’s that go against his word. If indeed Prop. 8 is overturned it won’t be because God heard your prayers. It will be because those in power at the Supreme Court have decided to pursue their own agenda for our State rather than one that God has so clearly directed.
So if then you are not praying to God then who is it you pray to?
I can appreciate your prayers, espicially if they were more directed to the “Civil Rights” that the Gay community already has been granted. Not being Gay myself I would fight beside you to uphold those rights that you already have that provide partner health care and other insurance benefits, and all other benefits previously reserved for the “spouse”. Those benefits are law and cannot be changed. Very important are those laws to the health and well being of all people married or not.
What about our right to reserve the title of “Married” for men and women that have placed such a high significant value on that value of “Marriage” that we have taught it to our children, reserved sexual activity until after “marriage”, seen it as a high calling for our lives and have looked forward to it from childhood? Shouldn’t it be acceptable by all that this remain a belief and an institution reserved for only hetrosexual relationships that wish to find lifelong unity with each other.
Todd, we’re not discussing federal law, but civil law. A contract (as in marriage contract) cannot be nullified by an amendment, unless said amendment specifically states that they’re nullified. IF, and only if, the California Supreme Court says those marriages are null then they remain legal.
Gays aren’t covered under Federal civil rights laws even though we meet the standards for suspect class. The only other groups in American history whose marriages were viewed as suitable for nullification were black slaves before the Civil War, and interracial marriages in some parts of the country.
Todd, even though Prop. 8 sates that “only marriages between a man and woman shall be considered valid and recognized” it doesn’t specifically state retroactivity.
I’ll put it another way. If a woman had an abortion and then three months later abortions were made illegal, the authorities could not go back and charge the woman, or the physician, with a crime, because, at the time abortion was legal. The same idea would apply to marriages that occurred before Prop. H8. That’s basic contract law.
“The government cannot retroactively invalidate situations as long as it was legal at the time of it happening.”
I don’t see how that can be true in all matters.
Also, in the ballot description for prop 8 it did state that it would apply to marriages regardless of when they were performed.
Don’t you love it when the brain-dead post on gay sites?
Hey, gunshows, the California Supreme Court doesn’t have any gay people on it. And even if it did, so what? They’re not going to resign because of nitwits like you.
Further, if they said marriage equality was legal, then it was legal, until Prop. H8 was enacted. And since Prop. H8 didn’t specify retroactivity those marriages entered into before it’s enactment remain valid until such time as a ruling says they aren’t. That’s what “rule of law” means, not tyranny of the majority.
I’ll give you an example of rule of law you’ll understand. In 2000 Al Gore won the popular vote, but W supposedly won the electoral college. When the matter was brought before the Supreme Court of the United States, they ruled Bush won. So, a simple majority DOES not rule in this country, law does!
gunshowsigns is an idiot. Trolls like him obviously have no life.
The original ruling is illegal. You cannot change the constitution without an amendment. There is no gay marriage and the gay judges should resign or recalled. I don’t support civil unions, gays adopting children, or sodomy. this is why the American Independent Party (AIP) should be supported with new registered voter. Both republican and democratic party are fishy on gays and abortion and sending jobs overseas. AIP nominated Allen Keyes for president in 2008. AIP WEB SITE
http://www.selfgovernment.us/
I am gay male who believes in prayer. I don’t know for sure that anything comes of it. But the main thing is the thought and what is in someone’s mind and heart behind someone’s prayer for the health and well-being of others. To pray for those things is an act of caring and love.
I am married and the fact is that if they choose to uphold prop 8 its like they are invalidating them all together becuase will they truley be recognized?
Prayer: the belief that god’s plan is so unimportant that he would change it because you asked him to.
The existing marriages WILL NOT BE invalidated. The government cannot retroactively invalidate situations as long as it was legal at the time of it happening. Now whether prop 8 will be abolished is another story..There is not telling
My prayers are joined with you, Cody. My best friend and his husband and their adopted daughter are in thoughts and prayers. This is not just an “issue,” it’s PEOPLE and their lives. Thanks for this thoughtful post.