18 yo olds think they can do everything, and 48 yo olds think they know everything.

In my experience both are wrong.

As long as it is safe, sane, and legal. Have at it.

Actually, the more I read the more it becomes apparent you’re a homophobic troll.

Look at all the arguments you’ve made:

1. Think of the Childrens!
2. Us gays deserve the discrimination!
3. If we only followed everyone heterosexual moral code there’d be no trouble for us.

If that’s not enough of a case, let’s go on:

4. You clearly read nutball right-wing sites and are appalled 356 doesn’t cover some abusive relationship.
5. You plain straight told a poster that you love the sinner but hate his sin;
6. Oh yeah, it’s legal but so is this and that.

Your proof that you’re entitled to say this? Your imaginary children. Who, to boot, you’re OVERJOYED are HETEROSEXUAL.

So at the very worst you’re a self-loathing individual.

More likely, however, you’re a lying homophobic troll. Normal gays don’t make arguments like yours.

If you’re going for someone that much younger or older- you have a problem. Regardless of which party you belong to.

That said, shame on this older man- and YOU for sanctioning it so flippantly. As the older party it is YOUR job to act like an adult. A shocking concept, I know.

Grow up. Men and women, gay and straight both do this and it is ridiculous. Get a life and get someone your own age.

Also, what’s with the anti-youth bias here?

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On the other hand, that risk-along with many of the others that come to mind-could arise in a peer relationship as well, the difference being that I trust my thirtysomething friend’s ability to handle the situation better than I trust most youths’
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I’m not sure that people who would express that view of youth should be giving relationship advice about young people.

Since I have one child attending MIT and another attending Princeton, I have no doubts about my parenting abilities. And, since neither have become involved in a relationship with a 39 year old (male or female), I’m quite confident that I’ve done my job as a parent. With respect to my younger children, I gave up a career to stay home and raise my children. Given the small number of parents willing to make that sacrifice, I, again, have no doubts about my parenting skills.

You’re upset because someone is questioning the appropriateness of you dating someone significantly older? I’m not advocating that it be made illegal. I’m not advocating that you should lose your job because of your decision. I’m not advocating that society deny you any rights afforded to any other citizen.

You are completely naive if you believe that the heterosexual community doesn’t know about these types of relationships and you’re ill-informed if you think they don’t use these types of relationships to bolster their idiotic belief that gay men and NAMBLA are somehow connected.

When you’ve been spit on in public because you made the choice to place someone’s needs in front of your own by having children, let me know. When you’ve had heterosexuals say in front of your children, “It’s disgusting that gays are allowed to have children.”, let me know. When you’ve had to fight with hospital staff because they were only going to allow one parent to make medical decisions because they couldn’t grasp the concept of a two dad family, give me a call.

I have a problem with a 39 year old sleeping with an 18 year old because those types of relationships on average tend to be about inequality. I find it extremely hypocritical to bitch about the inequitable treatment suffered by the LGBT community and then not speak out against the inequitable situations that often arise in such relationships.

Or is it that we’re only opposed to the mistreatment of the gay community when the offender is a heterosexual. But, if the offender is gay then the mistreatment is OK?

I find it very telling that if you search “Frank Lombard” on this site or one of its competitors (queerty), you won’t find one story about him. Why is that? Are we afraid to speak out against one of our own. That ‘tard, Frank Lombard, heaps some of the worst sexual abuse imaginable against his son and there’s not one blog entry about it. But, when Duke University wanted to ban a transexual from a dorm, Queerty was all over it. Talk about hypocrisy. But, Google Mr. Lombard’s name and see how his case his quoted on mainstream news media websites and every nutball website imaginable. Note: I’m not comparing your sexual relationships with older men to Mr. Lombard’s situation. But, if you think the heterosexual community is unaware of 18 year old males dating 39 year old males then you’re mistaken. And, if you think they don’t use such situations to perpetuate negative stereotypes about gay men then you’re kidding yourself.

So, we’re left with a website that has an article favoring a sexual tryst between an 18 year old and a 39 year old. The mere fact that Dr. Corvino wrote a column about it says that many in society are uncomfortable with this idea. But, this website has not one single reference to the enormous damage done to our community by a sexual predator who abused his adopted child.

Why does the idea of two men of different ages sleeping together bother you so much? As part of the LGBTQ community, we’ve all had to defend ourselves to the straight community at one time or another. And now those of us who aren’t agists have to defend ourselves to our very own community? I think not, and least of all to you.

You wrote, “I find that gay men who don’t have children have absolutely no concept of appropriate behavior regarding children, those transitioning into adulthood, and those who’ve just entered adulthood.” You may have encountered something along those lines, but to assume that ALL gay men are like this is just ignorant.

And also, have a little faith in your children! Trust that you’ve helped them develop the tools to tackle life and be safe! Or do you doubt yourself and how you raised your kids?

You honestly feel that cross-generational relationships impact the LGTBQ as a community in regards to civil rights? Unless such relationships are broadcast in detail, then how will anyone know about them? How does my choosing to sleep with older men impact the gay community? You honor me, thinking I would have such influence, but alas I do not.

Do you feel that all cross-generational relationships are about a mentor / mentee? Do you honestly believe that the older partner takes nothing away from the relationship besides sex? It might appear that there is a teacher / student dynamic, but who’s to say the younger partner doesn’t have anything to share? Relationships are dynamic and complicated, not static and easy to figure out. Sometimes one party may have more ‘power’, sometimes one is more vulnerable, etc.

I feel that you have very little confidence in young adults, gay or straight, and think the world is out to get us. I assure you, my generation is far more equipped with knowledge than any previous generation. And the next generation will have even more! Don’t pass your fears onto the younger generation, we do NOT want them.

How do you know casual sex undermines an 18 year old’s ability to have a fulfilling relationship? Are you assuming all young adults are the same? Nobody ‘trains’ an adult to enjoy casual sex, that’s a choice they make for themselves! And if they want to be in a relationship, then they also make that choice. Contrary to what you may feel, being young does not make us VICTIMS.

Again, if the attraction is mutual, why does age matter?

I’m aware this response is inflammatory, but I am sick and tired of your blanket statements, and portraying the younger generation as weak, naive victims just waiting to be taken advantage of.

The type of sexual tryst that Dr. Corvino is arguing can be handled “responsibly” does little more than make it more difficult for gay men to have children. These relationships perpetuate a stereotype about gay men that makes society view us as a poor choice for parents. Since most people responding to this article are not parents, I don’t expect them to get my point. I find that gay men who don’t have children have absolutely no concept of appropriate behavior regarding children, those transitioning into adulthood, and those who’ve just entered adulthood.

Rather than applying the “campsite” logic to a sexual tryst, perhaps we should consider applying it to the gay community. If your behavior makes it more difficult for gay people to obtain equal rights then maybe that behavior is not the best choice.

While the notion of an 18 year old and someone potentially 39 years old is disturbing to me on many levels, my “beef” with this column are the justifications offered by Dr. Corvino. This whole concept of “mentor” is absurd. The word “mentor” means teacher. If you want a casual fling with an 18 year old then be man enough to admit you’re simply interested in that person because they’re 18. But, don’t self-justify the behavior by saying you’re doing the 18 year old a favor by being a “teacher”. The word “teacher” definitely indicates an inequity in power. Using power to have sex is NEVER acceptable.

And, casual sex now can most certainly undermine committed sex later. If you train an 18 year old that constant casual sex is acceptable, it will be more difficult for that person to appreciate committed sex as they age.

Relationships between men in their 30s and a girl who is 18 are viewed with disdain within the heterosexual community. However, they still occur just as they do within the gay community. The difference though is that the heterosexual community is willing to condemn such behavior. The gay community is to self-centered to admit that doing anything you want simply because you want it (and it’s not illegal) is not always appropriate.

If our community thinks this behavior is acceptable then we shouldn’t be upset when heterosexuals deny us equal rights. Frankly, if we advocate these types of relationships we don’t deserve them. If you want to be treated with respect by other people, then you have to behave respectfully. These relationships show the worst side of gay life.