Subscribe to Breaking NewsWithers: Are we all victims?
If you strayed from 365 for the Thanksgiving week-end, you missed a political flame war. The conversation ranged from the sublime to the silly. I even got called a racist; I informed a friend, who happens to be black, of that charge. We were both rather drunk and he laughed in my face.
“You a racist? Don’t they know you are the whitest black man in America,” he howled.
Follow the thread of the debate if you will. There are two things that need to be stressed. With no shame, I admit being lukewarm to the terms “LGBT” and “gay community.” Both minimize our political differences and negate our memberships to other tribes.
Sure there are larger political issues gays and lesbians can coalesce around (anti-discrimination laws, etc. etc), but outside of that I’m not sure the political needs of the white lesbian couple living in the outback of Montana and the Asian bisexual kid walking down Christopher Street are one in the same. Neither is better than the other, their political agendas meet sometimes, but it does not serve gay rights to somehow act like our ships are headed in the same direction.
That leads to another point of contention. Not every gay person living in this country is a victim. Years ago, in college, I lived in a predominantly black dorm. Was part of the black student organization and whenever we talked about America, we spoke like the wretched of the earth.
Some of us did come from dire backgrounds, others working class, many from backgrounds of wealth and prestige. But we were college students who knew where our three meals were coming from, had basic health care, and our biggest concern was if we were going to do well in that “American poetry since 1945″ course (I didn’t by the way).
The above observation does not mean no one struggled nor had difficult waters to navigate, but when compared to our peers who were not able to attend a mid-western college, our lives were soft. Yes we were black, but not all of us were victims of racist America and it was hyperbole when we painted ourselves as such.
The same applies for gays and lesbians. Over the week-end there has been a conversation about every gay person in America, just because of his/her sexuality, being a victim. That mantra does not acknowledge the privilege many of us gay folk have (and please don’t go crazy because being privileged is not only about race); it also diminishes those gays and lesbians who are really victims of anti-gay prejudice.
We all have our stories of strife and struggle, but If we are all victims what about the real ones, who have to deal with the vagaries of discrimination and bigotry? Where do they fit if a pampered typist like me can claim the mantle of oppression?
To make victimology the bloodline of every gay and lesbian is to disregard the narrative of our history. Are we where we need to be? No. Nope. Nada, Let me say that one more time because some of you have difficulty with reading: we are not where we need to be!! But the claim of all pervasive gay martyrdom is to have an utter disregard for how far the struggle has come.
Many of you saw the biopic Milk this week-end. The late 1970’s political climate does not equal the early part of the 21st century and to make every gay and lesbian the poor prey of the straight world is a disservice to Milk’s legacy.
Righteous anger feels good and has it’s proper place, but distorts the complexity of the world we inhabit. The gay rights movement succeds when it does not shy from that very complexity.
Chris,
Thanks for your comments and information about the word weekend. I’m always getting that confused.
Sincerely,
James
And this column tells us what actually? Oh that’s right, what we all already know. (The word “weekend” is not a hyphenated word btw).
Seems someone is on their soapbox with not much to say.
m, you did find your way to the victims thread. Why am I not surprised?
what if you’re black gay and a woman? and what if you’re poor? what do you have to say about that? what kind of insight could YOU possibly have on the intersection between racism and homophobia? don’t try to play the oppression olympics with people because you’ll probably lose.
victoria- what if you’re black and gay? what do you have to say about that? your post makes absolutely no sense. don’t try to play the oppression olympics because chances are that you’ll lose?
james your arguement is ridiculous. if you’re not a straight white male, you’re being victimized in some way. discrimination of people who do not fit the profile of straight white and male is systematic, meaning whether it’s in your face, or whether you feel it or not you’re facing discrimination. all people can choose to do with information is choose how they respond to it. they can let it crush them and let the bitterness overwhelm them, or they can use it as an impetus to fight ignorance, and inform and educate people. what’s not cool is you trying to make some asinine point by telling them their victimization isn’t real…are you socially aware at all? EVERY black person has suffered from some form of racial discrimination whether they know it or not. every gay person has been victimized because of homophobia in some way, shape, or form. IT IS OKAY TO SAY THAT YOU’VE BEEN WRONGED, WHEN YOU’VE BEEN WRONGED, sorry if that sounds all complainey and weak to you.
Victim Schmictim.
It reminds me of discussions we had in grad school in the SF Bay Area comparing the “Berkeley” school of Social Work with the “SFSU” school of Social Work.
I don’t remember which was which, but one was adamant about “not blaming the Victim” (implying the other school did that).
What it comes down to is, bad stuff happens to good people. What makes you a victim, in the end, is accepting that you are powerless – not powerless to stop sh*t from happening, but powerless to take control of your life afterward and DO something (successfully or unsuccessfully) about it.
So, where are we at? We all agree that bad things often happen to Gay people because they are Gay.
Whether that makes us “Victims” or not is just Berkeley-SFSU semantics and a waste of precious oxygen.
Neil: “I can agree that on some level gay people have been victims of discrimination. But not nearly as overtly and actively as the black race.”
Oh, really?
Gay men in particular have lived under a legally and religiously supported sentence of death, torture or imprisonment in the majority of agrarian societies until recent times. Lynchings, however terrible, were sporadic, extra-legal actions.
Lesbians have faced less threat of violence, but as women have experienced the complete restriction of virtually all facets of self-actualization. Men, white or black, at least have been able to be community leaders, scholars, etc. when women were relegated to being baby machines and de facto domestic slaves.
LGBT people have been forced to be utterly invisible with mere mention of their existence a social taboo. We often receive not only lack of support from friends and family, but active harm.
Transgendered people have the highest per capita murder rate of any minority group as I recall.
Slavery (before that gets tossed about) is a institution which affected all people. Americans focus on people of African descent for understandable, but parochial reasons. Millions of Slavs (that is the etymology of the word by the way) and other non-black peoples were being sold into slavery as late as the 1800’s. Saudi Arabia had slavery until the 1960’s!
Consider further:
Interracial marriage has never been illegal in many states.
Non-whites voluntarily participated in the military from the American Revolution on.
So let me see if I have this right. Just because you live in a large urban area means everyone has the same opportunities as you and therefore should be grateful that this isnt 1979?
Okay, got it now.
I think there’s something to be said for shared suffering. And I’m not talking about the shared suffering of two people who have gone through the same thing. I’m talking about compassion for people who are going through something different and sharing in their suffering.
How many people felt pain when they saw the images from Katrina? Why did you feel it? You weren’t there, you weren’t going through it. It wasn’t about you. What about 9/11? The Holocaust, slavery and segregation?
We need to understand that “we” does not mean “me”. If you are personally not oppressed, then you still need to fight for those who are. AIDS has not been an epidemic among gay women, but that has not stopped the many lesbians who get involved in AIDS activism. (I’m not saying lesbians don’t get AIDS, so please don’t read it that way, I’m just saying it’s not as widespread.)
Yes, I sometimes get annoyed with gays who live in a protective gay bubble, who only care about gay rights when it’s their rights in their state. But I still feel for them when they suffer, when they lose rights. And that feeling makes me want to work with them, work together.
Okay, just forget community, we need a coalition. A non-partisan, multi-faith, multi-racial, multi-generational, multi-class, nationwide LGBTQQI coalition for gay rights. AND ONLY gay rights. Check your PETA, Pro-Life, Pro-Choice, Anti-War, ELF, Free Market, Fair Trade, Capitalist, Socialist issues and whatever the hell else doesn’t have to do with being gay at the door.
And by gay rights I actually mean queer rights because I don’t think it’s right to compromise on gender indentity. If transpeople and genderqueers are going to stand with us, we need to stand with them because you know the discrimination we face is connected. Those who discriminate us make little if any distinction between butch women, femme men and trans, or bi and gay. We’re all queer to them. We’re not heteronormative. Even those of us who want to get married will not be any more heteronormative than those who don’t.
Yes, we are all victims…if you really mean *WE*.